Like a vibrator the last few days my emotions have been set on high and low. It all started earlier on Friday. I've been getting alot of text messages from Stalker. I think he's stalking everyone in the group now. Andy says he doesn't have any friends and like a dingleberry, he's clinging to our asses. My conversation with Stalker was kinda normal. (as normal as it can get from someone whom I can imagine saying, "It rubs the lotion on the skin, or it gets the hose again.") He talked about his past relationships (previous victims) and I talked alittle about mine. Stalker told me he prefers "Str8 Acting" guys. I've always hated this saying with firery flaming passion. Guys that call themselves "str8 acting" are ashamed of themselves. They feel like if they somehow lessen the Gay term by calling themselves "str8 acting" maybe society will accept them better. I'm sorry all you so called "str8 acting" guys, you still are a sausage, teabagging, tossed salad lover. Get over it. Now if Stalker would have just said he prefers more masculine guys I wouldn't have gone off. Haha.
Later on that evening I had plans to go to a Takeover event with Andy and Kevin. This time it was at 40 Below in Bethlehem. Bobby, James, Sean, Lynn, Kate and of course Stalker where all going to meet us there. This is very rare that this many of my friends would be in the same place! The Takeover drink specials consisted of shots and $4 Long Island Iced Teas. The $4 Long Islands where deadly, but tasty. I could tell Andy was starting to get alittle drunk. For someone of his size and weight after two he becomes like hyper jello. It takes an elephant tranquilizer to put me down. At one point he ran out of money and said very excitedly, "Do you think I can open a tab? I wanna open a tab! Do you think I can? I need a tab! I want a tab!!" He was drunkity, McDrunk!
The takeover was alot of fun. I got to hang out with my best friend James which is something I rarely do anymore. Always feels like Sean has him on a tight leash. I could tell James was having a good time. He had asked me to order him and I another round and as we waited he started humping my ass. Someone was happy to see me. Later he showed me a nude pic of himself (seriously what is going?! I'm not complaining, but this is the forth time this week I've seen a friend naked.) It was big, beautiful and I loved it. Looked like an anaconda that could eat a small village.
After some scandalous pics were taken (Lynn sprawled across a sofa full of gay boys with me holding her one leg up in the air and Andy grabbing her boob.) and it was time to head to Diamonz for the after party. Right before we went I grabbed Andy's crotch (mostly to get his attention ok, ok maybe not just that) and pulled him over closer to me. He looked me in the eyes, laughed and said, "I'm kinda horny." I laughed at him and replied, "Boo that's the alcohol talking." I'm like a Dyson vacuum cleaner, this bitch never loses suction, he can't say stuff like that to me.
After party at Diamonz was a hoot. I think we all had a great time. I ended up driving Andy, Kevin and Lynn home after we went out for breakfast. Kate's man actually showed up at a gay bar to meet her, so she went home with him. He's a keeper! I'm glad the Mo's didn't scare him off. Kevin was the last person I dropped off. Before he opened his door to get out he said, "I have something to tell you. I've been texting my ex." My initial response was "Omg what??" Kevin had asked him, if he still thinks about him and of course the fucker said all the time. Drunken texts are never good next time I'm gonna have to confiscate his phone. Kevin is really pissed off at himself for texting the asshole. He said if his ex ever brings it up he's just gonna pretend like it never happened. I ended up getting home around 4am and even though it was a fun night I wished I would have had someone to cuddle with.
Saturday morning I awoke with multiple text messages on my phone. Andy couldn't remember anything and swears he was still drunk at that very moment. Kevin didn't remember telling me about his ex and Lynn said it took her 15 minutes to figure out how she even got home. You know it's a great night too when you go out with $40 and come home with $20. Yep the night was a success! Andy wanted me to go with him to the Stonewall that Saturday night. I was kinda broke and still recovering but he begged (I'm a sucker for a gay guy that's begs) and said he'd buy me a couple drinks. I told Bobby the plan and of course Stalker was going to go as well.
While Bobby and I were waiting for Andy to get there he was telling me about the guy he talked to at the takeover. (I remember him he was attractive but older) They had met online on Adam 4 Adam and he possibly was gonna show up. Bobby said the guy was major DTF material, but couldn't see himself dating him because of the age difference. Bobby's friend Daddylicious and Bobby's new replacement Kendoll showed up. Bobby pulled me away and said that if Daddylicious saw him talking to this new guy he probably would get somewhat jealous and give him a hard time. Andy had finally showed up he greeted us with the normal hugs and kisses on the cheek. When I turned my back for a second I saw him walking off. I watched to see where he was going. It turns out Brian was there with his friends. (Andy had told me Friday night that it still wasn't working out between them. Brian just seemed to never have anytime for him.) So for next hour Andy ran back and forth between us and Brian. Every time he was over with Brian he just looked so miserable. He kept looking back at me. The whole situation felt weird and Andy was getting more annoyed by the minute because Brian was drunk and being an ass.
Bobby's Mr. Man showed up. He was a tall drink of HARD water. Mr. Paul Bunyan I'll call him. He had to be at least 6'4. I could tell he seriously was into Bobby. It seemed that Bobby's cute social awkwardness was working in his favor. He does tend to have this innocent and non threatening appeal about him. Poor Bobby looked awkward though as Paul tried to be all touchy feely with him.
I saw Brian walk downstairs. Andy came over to us. He seemed upset and stressed out. I felt bad for him I could tell he was upset. He basically said it was over and didn't want to try anymore. Andy's friend Mandy ended up meeting us there too. She had a bad night as well. She had just discovered her fiancée had cheated on her. Now that's rough! Andy, Mandy and I went downstairs to see what was going on at the dance floor. We all started dancing, but not two songs in Andy started to dance with this little Latin guy. I knew what he was doing. Brian was watching and he wanted to make him jealous. In the process though he also neglected me. Mandy left and I went back upstairs to check on Bobby. I couldn't stay down there and watch Andy play his games. When I went back upstairs Bobby was just as I had left him, awkwardly pulling away from Paul. After a short time. He looked at me and said, "It's time to go!" We said our goodbyes to everyone and left. On our way out we saw Brian sitting on the front steps like a gargoyle. I wasn't expecting that when I opened the door.
After I had gotten home and all ready for bed, I noticed I had a missed call on my phone. Andy had called and wanted me to call him back. He wanted to know why I left so early and to tell me he ended up driving Brian home. Regardless of what happened he still promised Brian earlier he would take him home at the end of the night. Andy wanted to make sure I was home ok as well. He said, "Good night I love you. Talk to you in the afternoon."
I had told Kevin and Bobby over the weekend that I was ready to tell Andy how I felt about him. Even if I didn't get the response I would want, I'm hoping maybe at least it will help me move on. Just have to wait for the right time and where I feel comfortable in case I fall apart alittle. This isn't going to be easy after all. Kevin doesn't think it will affect my friendship with Andy in any negative way. Sunday afternoon Andy called me asking if I wanted to go to a movie with him and Mandy. I told him maybe depending on what time they were going. He had said that it wasn't going to be till later and he'd get back to me. Sunday evening rolled around and I noticed he had checked in on Facebook he was at the movie theater. I never got a phone call or a text message. He totally blew me off. The next morning I asked why he didn't tell me and he's response was because I said maybe and he ended up going on a date! Am I totally out of line here or is that not the rudest thing ever? You don't invite someone to go, tell them you'll get back to them and then go with someone else! I was hurt he went on a date obviously but more so because he blew me off. We kinda fought about it a little but he didn't understand why I was upset. Completely clueless! Language barrier? I don't know maybe, but I'm still hurt by it. Makes me think that if he was that insensitive with my feelings then how is he going to be when I really tell him how I feel. I'm rethinking the whole thing now. With all these highs and lows of emotions over the weekend I seriously feel bipolar. Get my padded white room ready.