November 21, 2010


As I have said before, I've always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. That just maybe the stars hold our fate. I'd like to believe in fate, serendipity, kismet and cute-meets. (I'm like a sappy Hallmark card) Some of the people that I have met in my life (past and present) were by accident. My best friend James is a good example on how fate stepped in. I wasn't even suppose to meet James. It all happened by accident almost 12 years ago. He had been chatting with my friend Mary online. She was a big Fruit Fly back then and loved the Mo's! She had more gay friends then I did! James and Mary had planned to meet one night at a local diner. I went with her because I thought it was crazy to meet people from the Internet. He could have been an ax murderer or worse a redneck. He obviously wasn't any of those things, but at that time he was married to a woman still. I didn't know what he wanted from my friend. 

So James and I hit it off. (the dimples and green eyes had me at hello and I wanted to sit on his face.) When I finally turned 21 (he is a year older then me) we went to the gay bars together. It was nice to actually have a gay friend. (at that time in my life I had so many Fag Hags it was ridiculous, now though I miss my girls) James and I had many drunken nights back then that involved throwing spoons off his balcony and then hunting for them in the inclosed courtyard, while wearing our PJ's and robes. (Hey, it was fun at the time and I suggest you try it) We were pretty inseparable for while. One year for Halloween he went as a hooker and I went as his pimp. His name was Ivanna Swallowsome. 

Things kinda fell apart a few years later. I had fallen crazy in love with him (first time I ever had feelings for another guy) and he ended up getting into an abusive relationship. His ex wouldn't even let him have friends or even talk to people and we lost touch. I ran into him 5 years later when he came into the store where I worked. This is where fate stepped in. He didn't know I worked there. Another year passes and when he finally broke up with the abusive asshole, James hunted me down. Again, fate stepped in cause I just happened to be working that night. That was 3 years ago and we've been close again ever since. I know he will always be in my life now. I can just picture us playing bingo at our nursing home, wearing diapers, having walker races and James running around with a boner because he took much Viagra. 

I met my asshole ex Richard at the very first ever Takeover event. It was lust at first sight. (of course liquor played a part in this) He played the shy card (it was all an act) and everytime my friends left me alone he'd come over and talk to me. He was polite and charming. (again all an act) He found me online and a week after meeting him at the Takeover he asked me out. We were together for two years till I finally discovered what a pathological liar he was. He wasn't just a tool he was the entire fucking toolshed.  It turns out every relationship he is in only lasts two years. I guess that's how long he can keep up the lies for. Fate may have screwed me over this time but I actually learned a lot from that relationship, so lessons learned. 

I met Andy in an interesting way. I saw his profile on Grindr, which is a gay social networking app for the iPhone and now Blackberry. The picture he had posted was of him laying on his couch with his arms showing. I messaged him and asked, "Can I have tickets to your gunshow?" I know! I know tacky pick up line, but he thought it was funny. Months passed and we just had the normal chit chat. Then one day he asked for my number which turned into us texting. I asked him if he wanted to meet me out for a drink. That turned into him calling me for the first time. He was nervous on the phone and I could tell because his accent got so thick that I couldn't understand him. He met me out at the bar and was so anxious. I kept telling him to get a drink so he'd relax a bit. That's when he said, "I don't drink at all I'm too much of a health nut." I looked at him and said, "Oh honey, we are from two different worlds. Get a glass of wine it's like juice." So he got a glass of wine and the rest is history. I created a monster. 

I'm not exactly sure what's the reason for meeting Andy. I guess he is still to new in my life. He has helped me get over JT even though in the process I fell for him. The past couple weeks my view of him seems to be changing. I fear he's becoming like every other gay guy and I really don't want him to turn into that. I found out last night that little Latin guy (missing member of the lollipop gild) he danced with last week was the same guy he blew me off for. So he blew me off for someone whom he just met. It also turns out the way he talks to me by calling me baby, saying I love you etc. he also apparently does that with other guys. So um yeah I no longer feel special. I don't like that he is becoming this "playa" when in the beginning he was so sweet and sincere about everything. He's completely losing who he really is and it's a complete turn off. I've decided to hold off on the whole "telling him my feelings" thing. This could be fates way of saying, "He's not who you think." 

I'm thankful I had Bobby's comic relief to entertain me in my time of need. Maybe it was fate he was there with me or the simple fact that I told him he had to come out. Haha. My friend Steve was the bartender (the same guy that pulled Bobby in a room and tried to "bob" on him a few months ago) and Bobby's social awkwardness towards him was classic! Steve could totally tell Bobby was uncomfortable and he fed off of it. I can just imagine what's going to happen at Steve and Bill's Christmas party this year. Can we say over the clothes hand jobs? It's going to be a real shit show and I wonder what room Bobby will be pulled into. I'll have to scream like Whitney Houston did with her husband, "BOBBY, BOBBY!!" just to try to find him. 

Well until fate pushes some guy in my direction I guess I'm just gonna have to keep having fun with my friends. Kevin and Bobby are always good distractions there's a reason they are in my life. If fate keep screwing me over in the love department though, I'm gonna cut the bitch.