December 6, 2010

Forty And Fabulous?

My friend Sam just celebrated his 40th birthday party on Saturday. Is 40 really the new 20? OR do people just say that to make the transition into 40 much easier? When he had told me it was 40th Birthday I was kinda taken back alittle. I had thought he was in his mid to late 30's.  I have to say for his age Sam looks pretty good. He still has all his hair! He is alittle bit on the skinny side though. I keep wanting to force feed him cheeseburgers everytime I see him. (Ethiopian poster child) He's just built that way, tall and skinny. His hands, feet and everything else are huge. Awkwardly skinny is the best way to describe him. The bastard can eat all he wants and not gain a pound!

I met Sam last year at a Pride Benefit. Kevin, Lynn and I had gone. I remember the day like it was yesterday because we hadn't been in the place for 15 minutes and Kevin ended up spilling his drink, Lynn's drink and my drink all over the place! Kevin and I met Sam at the after party at Stonewall. Kevin was completely trashed (he doesn't remember this) and his way of introducing himself consisted of showing his jack off video he recorded earlier. His phone got passed around alot that night. Everyone saw his rendition of "Pop Goes The Weasel." (I got a private showing in the bathroom until I yelled at him to, "put it away" haha) So I guess first impressions where good because the next day at Lehigh Valley Pride In The Park we ran into Sam again. He was working at the F.A.C.T. booth and remembered us. (I know how could he forget?)

I used to hang out with Sam every once in awhile. I know he had a huge crush on me and actually wanted to date me. There was something about him I didn't like. He tried to make friends with all my friends. You know Spice Girls said it best "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends." He tried to worm his way in there no pun intended (ok maybe alittle intended) but it didn't work. Things got alittle scary when we were all out one time and he tried to restrain me, so he could kiss me. My friend Lola yelled at him to let me go. He has apologized for that. I know he was drunk, but it did really scare me. Recently (This year) he has been rather M.I.A. He had found himself a twink down in Maryland and was traveling back and forth on the weekends to be with him. His friend told me, "he goes down there to babysit." Apparently the twink is 19. After they had broken up (I know right, shocker! No story book ending for the 19 year old and 39 year old. Seriously, I mean come on!) Sam had resurfaced and now when I'm out with my boys I end up running into him.

A few weeks ago I ended up receiving drunk text messages from Sam. He was out with a friend of his and I could tell he was wasted. He started off by chatting normal but it quickly turned dirty when he sent me a nude pic of himself (I don't know why this keeps happening lately) followed by him texting, "I can just imagine you have a hot little ass (I do) and I want to pound it all night as you moan in pleasure." My response was, "OMG! Um yeah, good luck with that! Sam go home and go to bed." The next morning he was rather embarrassed by his actions and apologized to me for his behaivor. He invited me out to his birthday party and I said I would go. (As long as I could find or have someone to go with me of course, but he didn't know this.)

Bobby ended up meeting me at the Stonewall for Sam's Birthday get together. Kevin was bartending at a Christmas party for extra money (whoo hoo good presents coming my way) so he was a no show. Andy was stuck at work late and Stalker was out with a couple of friends, but would meet us later. The Birthday boy finally showed up around 11. (they were at Candida's Bar for pre-drinks and apparently he was already 4 apple martinis in.)  I ordered him another which actually turned into 2 because my bartender friend, Steve always gives you whatever is left in the cocktail shaker. Lets just say Sam was getting rather drunk. He introduced Bobby and I to his friends. His one friend was really tall and young. He had a really big mouth. He kinda looked like if Bucky Beaver and Mr. Ed had a love child this is what it would look like. Don't get me wrong he wasn't ugly (he had great lashes!) just had a really big mouth. I kept flashing back to that Glee episode where they ask the new kid how many balls he can fit in his mouth. Bobby and Bucky seemed to really hit it off and chatted a lot back and forth. Gee I wonder how much wood a woodchuck chucks?

Andy and Stalker show up. Andy has his "new friend" with him. I finally introduced myself. He seemed nice and was rather quiet. Andy said I introduced you guys already. Jordan and I look at each other and said "um no you didn't." Bobby said he didn't bother saying anything to Jordan because he is so used to Andy's boyfriends only lasting 3 weeks.  Andy's behaivor really isn't getting any better in fact it's getting worse. He flipped out on me because he wanted to have a Christmas dinner with everyone at a Sushi place. When I told him that not everyone likes Sushi (I do, I'll put anything in my mouth) his response was, "Well they can eat my fucking dick then or get fucking chinese food!" I answered back, "Yo! Stop with the bitch fit right now!" He shut up after that, but the old Andy never would have spoken to me in that manner. It's like invasion of the body snatchers! What happened to the guy I was completely enamored with? I had told Kevin and Bobby that I'm not even sure if I want to even be friends with him anymore. I'm going to wait till after the holidays to confront him on his behaivor. (hey he got me a present, what if its good? haha)

We all went upstairs because Sam needed to eat some food to soak up the liquor. As I'm chatting with Stalker I get a text message on my phone from Sam it said, "You should let me fuck you. You know you want it. You need it. I'm really big." Stalker saw the messages and laughed. I answered him back, "Yeah ok I want ya like I want the herp!" One of Sam's friends saw he was texting me and said, "Um dude, He is like standing right over there." I was only 5 feet away from him and he didn't even know it. That's how drunk Sam really was.

We all went for breakfast after the bar. Stalker drove me (left my car at the bar) and one of Sam's friends over to the diner. Our dining expierence was rather strange. Stalker, Andy and Jordan sat at one table behind us by themselves while the rest of us sat at a big table. I went back and forth between the tables a couple times. They ended up getting their food first and when they were done they just got up and left!  Andy didn't even say good bye, what the fuck is up with that? I said to Stalker, "Who is going to take me back to my car?" He said "I'm sure one of the others will take ya back" Sam's DD of course offered to take me back to my car, but that wasn't the point. I kinda felt abandoned and it really pissed me off. Bobby said Andy had texted him and told him to make sure I was able to get home ok. It's like if you really care that much then why didn't you stay to make sure I was ok. On the way back to my car Sam had playing on the radio that Enrique Iglesias song "Tonight I'm Fucking You." He kept looking back at me and smiling. See this is exactly why I didn't want to be left in this situation. Thanks a lot! The next morning Andy texts me to see if I'm alive and ok. I was more annoyed with him then anything. This goes to show how much he is really changing. 

Stalker has been acting strange lately as well and to think I actually was considering changing his character name. He blocked all of us on Grindr and when I asked him about it he just said he was "hiding" whatever that means. Kevin noticed he deleted him off of Facebook, so I checked mine and he deleted me as well and everyone else. When I asked Stalker about it he said, "I deactivated my Facebook. Taking a break from it. When I turn it back on everyone will come back. I didn't delete anyone. Just spending to much time on there anyhow." I just said ok, but I can't help but wonder if he is up to something. Maybe he is doing something he doesn't want us to know about. Grindr shows distance even if you have the miles thing turned off and a persons Facebook tells you what they are up to daily and what's happening in their life. It's just alittle weird!! (Again I can just picture the bunnies hanging from the ceiling and Barbie heads all over the ground. "Ummm I just walked on a Barbie head.")

Sam doesn't remember much from his 40th birthday party. He wasn't hungover though. He may not be in his 20's anymore but he can still party like a 20 something year old and apparently still has the sex drive of one since he was hitting on me all night. It is true you are only as old as you feel. He's been feeling up a 19 year old so obviously he feels pretty young. The 40's are really the new 20's for sure.