October 11, 2010

National Coming Out Weekend


I had a busy beaver kinda weekend. Friday night went out to our local little Gay Bar called Candida's (which is a  yeast like fungi, go figure) to celebrate my friends birthday. Normal drama ensued between Kevin and his ex. Kevin's ex is partnered and still was when they were together. See, this was the problem he had no plans to leave his partner for Kevin. He wanted his cake and twinkie too. Greedy son of a biscuit eating bulldog, if you ask me. The whole thing is a mess and resulted in Kevin making out with another guy who just happens to be partnered as well. He just can't win! I had fun with Andy like always till the guy he is dating showed up (FML) but in the end it still was a fun night. After the bar I went over to a friends house to watch trash T.V. and ended up getting home at 6:30am Saturday morning. Haha


Saturday night was Andy's show at Diamonz. (local bar with mostly lesbian clientele) When Kevin, Andy and I showed up the place was crawling with lesbians that looked like Justin Beiber. We were the only gay boys there. Kevin said, "Where's all the gay boys at?" I replied with, "It's only 10:30 they are still getting ready to go out. The lesbians just throw on some flannel and they are out the door." (Don't get me wrong, I like lesbians. My pink taco lover friends are beautiful and after all without them how would Lowes and Home Depot stay in business?)

Ok back to the reason why we were at Diamonz in the first place. Andy was asked to be a backup dancer in a couple Drag shows. He was oiled up and in tight underwear of course I had to be there! He did really well in the show. It was a total bonerfest and again I had a great time till his Lord of The Rings looking guy showed up. Like seriously, don't you have a ring to protect? (We'll call him "Hick" because he doesn't deserve a proper character name) Hick was telling Kevin and I the reason why he was so late was because he met up with another cute guy before coming to Diamonz! It was a "Hold my earrings" moment for me. Why would you tell me you are creeping on one of my closest and sweetest friends? Are you really that stupid? I did the only most logical thing I could do at the moment, I told Andy's Fag Hag Mandy. She said she was gonna "take care of it." I'll keep you all posted on the outcome.

Sunday Outfest

Sunday was Funday in Philly for Outfest. James, His partner Sean, Bobby and myself went down for the festivities. It was refreshing to see over 8,000 gay men, lesbians, trans, and some I didn't know what they were, all together to celebrate. Everything that has been going on recently with the teenage suicides, bullying and our local gay bashing it was a great sight to see! Our nation needs to get it's act together. Maybe if we weren't treated like second class citizens then the bullying and bashings wouldn't happen. It's the "Don't ask, Don't tell" and the simple fact that we can't get married that has made this world the way it is.

While the boys and I were in Philly I called up my good friend Ian, partly because I was dying to see his penthouse and because I really had to pee. (freaking iced mocha) Ian's penthouse was just as I thought it would be, stylish and faggarific! Ian let us park our car there and was a tour guide when we went to the gayborhood. I of course did something embarrassing. (I know shocker, right?) While we were walking to the gayborhood we had to walk through a small portion of Chinatown. This lady tour guide was giving all these tourists information on the area, well I was so busy paying attention to her that I walked right into a pole on the sidewalk! The lady tour guide then turns to my friends and says, "he's got to be more careful!" Ok, cut to me turning all red! End Scene!

I kinda ditched my friends for a bit and met up with my gorgeous, fabulous friend Mr. Knockers. (after it took me like 25 minutes to find him in a crowd of gay men) I hadn't seen Knockers in awhile, not since Kevin and I went down to New Hope for a weekend and I played with Knockers in the pool. (Had his underwear on my head too. It sounded like a good idea at the time.) We have managed to keep in touch since then and to be honest I was very excited to see him again. We ended up ditching the peeps he was with too or as he likes to call them, "the old ladies" and off we went hand in hand.

Most people have said they thought Knockers was bitchy, but truly that's just an outer plastic shell you gotta crack open with a sledgehammer. He really is sarcastically funny, charming with a sweet side once you get to know him. In the end those are all the ingredients to make me wanna point my heels to Jesus. His fag bag I swear he stole it from Mary Poppins! I was waiting to see what he was going to "pull out" next, perhaps more lip balm for his D.S.L's or "Knocker Juice" a concoction of Grey Goose Vodka, Pomegranate liquor, and some other shit. It looked pretty good. Next time I'll have to try the "Knocker Juice" oh and that drink he made as well. (JK)

My visit with Knockers felt like it was cut short when my friends found me and dragged me away. James and Sean had dinner plans with their neighbors at 6. It kind of pissed me off because they are your neighbors, you see them everyday, and you have dinner with them every single Sunday, but how often are we out in Philly? Ian didn't want us to leave yet, and Knockers didn't want me to leave yet. The situation blew donkey dick! I was actually hoping to have dinner in the city (I hadn't eaten all day and had 4 drinks, yikes) and sober up a bit we all could have used that. Overall though it was a fun visit and it made me realize I have to try to get down to Philly more often to see my friends. So from my closet to yours, have a Happy National Coming Out Day.