January 10, 2011

A Psycho And A Cheap Whore?

Everyone handles rejection differently. Getting your heart broken by someone you love and care for is one of the hardest things to deal with. It can make someone act out it ways they normally wouldn't act and do things they normally wouldn't do. There's a thin line between love and hate and it's called obsession. We've all been there. We've all had crushes that have gone sour. Everyone has felt rejection at least once in their life.

Last weekend I confessed my love for Andy and although it didn't go the way I hoped it would things got better. We actually are closer. This past weekend Stalker confessed his love for Andy as well, but things didn't turn out the exact same way they did for me. Stalker isn't handling the rejection very well and doesn't understand why they can't be together. His love for Andy has turned into an obsession. Stalker thought the only reason why they couldn't be together was because of the distance, (He lives about 45 minutes from Andy) but that's not the case at all. He actually thought they were already dating which is weird because they never really had been alone at all. Friday night into Saturday he kept texting Andy all night that he likes him so much and he wants to be with him and they'd be so good together blah, blah, blah.

We did see some of the signs that things could go badly. Stalker always has to "one up" Andy. He does it to get his attention. He wants him to know he is just as good. Like if Andy lifted weights at the gym Stalker would say he lifted more. If Andy said he ran 4 miles, Stalker would say he ran 5. If Andy said he had to go to Wegmans, Stalker would say he had to go too even though there isn't one by him. (He goes to Giant!) I told Andy to tell him he wanted to get a certain car, we'll see if Stalker goes out and buys it! There was some other things I started to notice recently as well. Stalker started to drink the same drink Andy always orders (Sugar Free Red Bull and Peach Schnapps) and eat the same things. He bought the same phone and also started to buy the same type of clothes. (Can we say Single White Female!)

After Stalker told Andy that he is making himself miserable over him, Andy told him that maybe they shouldn't hang out anymore if it's really that hard for him. Things got crazier from there. He said he thinks of Andy now as a little brother and he is over it. (Yeah a little brother you wanna pound every night) I told Andy, "He isn't over it hun, he is just saying that. You don't get over someone in an HOUR!" Then he went from "being over it" to continuing to tell Andy that he loves him over and over again. Just when you thought it couldn't get any crazier, it does! Stalker then sends Andy a picture of himself crying! I told Andy, "Ok that's way too much! Now he is trying to make you feel bad for rejecting him!" Seriously who takes a picture of themselves crying and sends it to the person they are crying over?? Cybil called she's looking for her missing personality!

I told Andy to turn his phone off for awhile and not to answer him. Stalker then started to text me. He said, "I think Andy is mad at me he won't answer my text messages anymore. I hope he talks to you I am worried about him." I was scared to answer him at first. I kept thinking he probably has bunnies boiling over on his stove and is combing a Barbie head in the corner. I texted him back and asked what was wrong and why he was worried? He didn't really say just said they kinda had a fight. I told him, "Just give him some space. We had a fight last weekend this seems to be the trend lately. Just leave him alone for a bit." Well I guess according to Stalker the word 'Space' means let's text him some more and call a bunch of times!

Kevin, Bobby, Andy and I had planned on going out for some drinks. After the stressful day Andy had I offered to pick him up cause he wanted to do shots and I know how he gets after some shots. Lately Stalker has been picking Andy up when we go out because he has to drive passed his house on the way to the bar (He is probably parked outside it now!) and even though all that stuff happened he still asked Andy if he needed a ride. Of course Andy said no. Once Kevin got to my house and I filled him in on exactly what was going on (Kevin called Stalker a Creeper and a half) we were on our way to pick Andy up.

Of course the bar was dead it was only 10:15 after all. Andy ordered his shot, the one with the lemon as he called it. (It's actually called Chocolate Cake) After his second shot and second drink I knew we were in for a hyper crazy Syrian. Stalker ended up making an appearance. (I know shocker, right) He had brought a friend with him named Leo. Whom had to be shorter than 5 feet. Kevin whispers in my ear and says, "Omg, I'm sure he is a legalized midget!" He was small kinda like a hairy meatball. Though he was small he couldn't be called a "pocket gay" because he was too stocky. For once in my life I actually felt tall! Stalker and Leo The Meatball kept to themselves all night but I could see he was watching Andy closely. (So was I for that matter, but only because I knew he was drinking more than usual and I was afraid Norman Bates was gonna get him.)

After sometime passes we all seemed like we were having fun. Bobby was downstairs chatting it up with a totally hottie. When Mr. Hotsicles walked in everyone turned and looked. It was like he was a lamb walking into a lion's den or a nun walking into a porn store. It was that obvious! Kevin was getting insulted upstairs by Harold. Harold called Kevin a cheap whore cause of what happened at his Christmas party between Kevin and The Ex. It was out of line! (Only I can I call him a cheap whore he's my best friend!) Kevin looked at Harold and said, "Ew! For that now you gotta buy me a shot!" Harold reached in his pocket pulled out two dollars and handed it to Kevin. (He is a cheap whore! Haha) I was bouncing around between Kevin and Andy. I felt like one of those kinky S&M swings!

After the bar Kevin and I went for hoagies, (6 inches of happiness) Bobby got Mr. Hotsicles phone number, Andy went with a friend to the diner (whom was going to take him home after) and Stalker and Meatball? Yep, you guessed it, went to the diner as well. As were waiting for our hoagies at Wawa, Andy texted me to drive safe. I texted him back that we were surrounded by whitetrash. The types of people you see at Wawa at 2:30 in the morning let me tell ya! It's like night of the spandex! Is the mullet actually back now?? We got back to my house around 3am I texted Andy to let him know we were ok and I love him. He said, "I love you more I'll text you when I'm home." Kevin and I passed out. I woke up around 9:30. Andy had texted me at 4am saying he was home and asked if I was still awake. Ut-oh!

After Kevin left he realized he had a pocketful of condoms! He doesn't remember taking them, but apparently he grabbed a big handful at the bar before we left! I laughed at him and said you really  are a cheap whore! Haha! Andy called me later in the afternoon to say that Stalker was being crazy again. Andy actually had to turn his phone off to go to bed! When he turned it back on he had 15 missed messages and 2 voicemails. I smell a restraining order! Jokingly I said hunny don't worry if you go missing I know what direction to point the police in.