January 31, 2011

Relationship Karma

My idea for this entry came from Edward. He had posted on his Facebook status if people believe in relationship karma or not. Most said yes. I've always been a believer in karma. You know the cosmic principle according to which each person is punished or rewarded depending upon their actions. Basically if you do good, you get good back and if you're bad the universe is gonna bitch slap you like a cheap trailer trash whore! There has to be such a thing as relationship karma then, right? If you mess with someone else's relationship or treat your partner badly will you get punished? Will it possibly affect future relationships and if you did make a mistake how do you wipe the cosmic ass clean? It's not like you can just pull out a cottonele wipe and flush your dirty deeds away.

I truly feel karma is biting my ex Richard in the ass or at least I hope it does. He lied to me, treated me badly and for that I hope karma puts his goods in a meat grinder! What? To harsh? Since we've broken up I know he has bounced around from one guy to another. Keeping up with his lies and using people for as long as he can which isn't for long. You can't out run that karma and reputation. It's attached to you like a fanny pack and those things aren't flattering unless you're a diesel dyke!

Do I have any relationship karma? Well I've never cheated on anyone, never lied (Well about anything that mattered "yes baby you have the biggest penis I've ever seen.") and I've never interfered in someone else's relationship. (affair, cause a break up etc...) I do feel like I have a little karma attached to me. Like most young stupid kids I let some good guys slip away because at the time I wanted something better. We've all been in a situation where someone likes you and treats you like gold, but for whatever reason you are just not that into them. So as far as my love life is concerned I'm an asshole magnet! I let some good guys slip away and now I'm left with the pricks! Hello karma. I've learned my lesson. Things that used to matter to me in terms of finding a boyfriend no longer do. The main thing I look for now is someone who will give me respect, make me laugh and pound my ass till I can't walk. Ok the last one isn't a requirement but it does help.

A very young friend of mine had an affair with a married man (who is in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship) for almost a year. He fell in love with him and like most delusional twinks he actually thought the married guy was gonna leave his partner, but alas that did not happen. My friend actually thinks he did nothing wrong because he is single, so he puts most of the blame on the married guy. It takes two to have an affair. Yes you are single but he is not! You are actually helping the married man cheat on his partner. Sooner or later karma could bite you in the ass if it hasn't already. And as far as Mr. Married Man is concerned he is still in that unhealthy and unhappy marriage with no plans, no twink, and no future! That is his karma! So how does my friend wipe his karma soaked ass clean? Well he is young and we all learn from our mistakes. Past relationships shape us for future ones and I feel as long as he doesn't repeat the past again he'll be fine.

I asked Bobby if he believed in relationship karma and he said, "Well I'm not sure because I think in the dating world I treat people with respect and kindness. I get treated like shit or like I am a potted plant with no feelings. So I believe in karma but dating karma? I Don't think so. How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." I can't imagine Bobby having any bad karma to begin with. He is one of the sweetest people I know. He is a potted plant I'd totally water. I feel in his case it's just chemistry not karma. He'll meet someone eventually. You gotta kiss a lot of toads before you find that prince. His birthday is coming up soon perhaps I'll get him some chapstick for those DSLs!

Kevin's take on karma is he doesn't believe in it at all! (I'm gonna stand back in case the cosmic forces strike him down.) He said, "I don't believe in all that crazy stuff, shit happens! I believe it's all the persons doing in relationships not karma!" He is right to a point. (I know I'm shocked I uttered those words!) You can't blame a bad relationship on karma even if it does exist. People make their own choices and decisions. Some good, some bad. BUT and it's a big BUTT if you treat people that you are in a relationship with horribly most likely you'll do it again in a different relationship.
Whether you call this karma or not you get what you put into it. Perhaps down the road you may find yourself on the opposite end of things and your partner is the one who is treating you horribly. Then you'll know exactly how it feels.

On Saturday I was out with Kevin, Bobby and Andy. While we were there who of course would show up?? Hick! I said he'd be back! There wasn't enough Abreva to keep that cold sore away. Apparently he has been spreading nasty rumors about Andy and they no longer talk at all. Andy ignored him but Hick did come over to Kevin and I to say hi. (Everyone loves us what can I say?) We of course were polite and said hello back but that was it. As I watched Hick I wondered perhaps if relationship karma was actually knocking him down. He treated Andy crappy when they were together and I noticed absolutely no one at the bar was giving him the time of day! He might as well go back to the farm because we don't want that nasty butter he's churning!

So how do fix your relationship karma you ask? Well for starters everyone makes mistakes, so learn from those mistakes and envolve. Don't let history repeat itself and always treat your partner the way you would want to be treated. "If you don't want anyone to find out, don't do it!" If your doing something (or someone) you shouldn't come clean now. Get some cosmic douche and cleanse your aura for once instead of your ass. Of course if all that fails at least you still have your hand. (Well unless karma is truly vengeful and cripples you with Carpal Tunnel that is!)

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