March 14, 2011
Homos B4 Hoes
Homos B4 Hoes (HB4H) can be used to state that your friend has been dicked whipped and his partner (queen) is running the show now. In this case the queen can take over your life and you end up canceling all your plans with your friends. Try your best not to cancel your plans with your friends. You need to stand firm. If you start canceling plans, you'll quickly find that there's never a good time to hang out with your own friends. Sometimes a queen will want to monopolize all your time and attention; other times, they'll want to sever your last bond to the single life: your friends. If you made plans with the homos, you have to stick to them. Just remind the queen that the two of you can do things together the next day or the day after. Remember not all relationships last, but most friendships do. Just try to find that balance where you can still hang out with the boys and not ignore your partner too. If he's the one he'll understand and he probably has friends of his own he may miss. It's all about balance.
HB4H can also be used to stand up for your fellow fag friend when he is in danger. Tricks can be tricky. How can you spot a trick? Well most times they are just after your junk or money. They are the type that would make out with you, but then turn around and also try to make out with your friends. They tend to be wearing something flashy (or tight), if they fart it smells like latex~n~lube, and their breath smells penisy. Sometimes they appear to be normal just watch their actions. Their pants tend to unzip faster than you can say "Teabagging!" Don't let a trick come between you and your friends. They aren't worth it. Sure the mind blowing orgasms may be great, but in the long run after he is done licking your balls, slobbing on your knob, and spending all your money, who's gonna be there for you... Your friends!
Bobby told me he had been chatting with him for a few days on Grindr. (Which sometimes feels Creepr) The guy was from Texas and is just in town for 6 days for work. I know, I know this has "hook up" written all over it. I can practically smell the sweat and lube, but Bobby said it wasn't like that at all. Bobby told the Texan he wasn't looking for any kind of hook up. (Even though we all know he's curious to see if everything really is bigger in Texas.) The Texan said he was a "Southern Gentleman" and said he would just like to take Bobby out to dinner and maybe have some drinks. Seems harmless enough, right? Bobby said he wouldn't know for sure till later around 7 or so that evening if he was going to meet Kevin and I out. Apparently the Texan was in Philly all day (Bobby and him were texting back and forth through out the day.) and was suppose to be back around that time. 6:30 rolls around and Bobby texts me saying he hasn't heard from the Texan at all and thinks he is being blown off. So he will meet Kevin and I out. "Looks like everything is bigger in Texas including jackasses!"
I log onto Grindr, like I usually do periodically throughout the day to check my messages. This cute guy messages me "hello." He asked how I was and what I was up to. I replied with, "I'm doing ok just watching TV. What are you up to?" He said he was pretty much doing the same thing. He had asked to see more pictures so the two of us started to exchange pictures back and forth. We did the normal small talk. He seemed really nice. When I asked him where he was from he replied, "Texas, I'm here for 6 days for work." I knew right away this had to be Bobby's Flaken Texan! I texted Bobby to confirm and I was right! I decided to play with the Texan a little. After all it wasn't nice of him to blow my friend off like that. Nobody puts Bobby in the corner!
Texan: "Ever been to Texas?"
Me: "Yeah, I love Texas."
Texan: "How you feel about Texas guys?"
Me: "Some of them were pretty cute and very polite."
Texan: "Ever go out with one?"
Texan: "Well maybe it's about time you do."
At this point I was getting texts from Bobby and we were texting back and forth. Every time I got a message from Bobby it knocked me off Grindr. (I hate that it does that it's so annoying.) When I told Bobby what the Texan had said he said if I wanted to go out with him he didn't mind. I said, "HELL NO! He blew you off. Why would I go out with someone who was rude to one of my friends?" Bobby responded, "If that's the prerequisite for you not to go out with people there would be no men left." I told Bobby, "I'm not interested in someone who treats people like that. You're one of the sweetest people I know." Bros Before Texan Hoes!
Texan: "I guess that's a no?"
Texan: "Are you there?"
Me: "Sorry was getting messages." (I completely ignored his question)
Texan: "Oh I see. You're a stud. You must have been getting a lot of messages from hot guys."
Me: "Haha!! No I was getting regular text messages. They kept knocking me offline."
Texan: "You're cute you must be popular."
Me: "Just chatting with friends."
Texan: "Any of your friends cute like you be interested in going out with a Texan?" (Seriously couldn't believe he asked me that. Can we say tool?"
Me: "It's funny you should ask that."
Texan: "Why? Lol"
Me: "Oh because I think you were chatting with my best friend Bobby earlier."
He was quiet was for a couple minutes. I totally busted the Southern fucker!
Texan: "Yeah, that was yesterday." (He down right lied! I guess Bobby magically sent those pictures from the Liberty Bell in Philly to himself earlier in the afternoon!) When I told Bobby what the Texan said, he said he didn't get why he would ask him out, talk to him for hours, just to then ignore him. Frankly it makes no sense to me either. Sometimes guys are just flakes. Or maybe this Texan Tool thought he could get someone better or easier.
The plot thickens!
Me: "Oh, well I have plans with Bobby tonight and some other friends. We are just going out to grab some drinks."
Texan: "Cool. I'm suppose to go out with my traveling buddy tonight. He found this gay bar in the area we are gonna check it out."
Me: "Oh yeah, what's it called?"
Texan: "Hold on let me ask him. Don't go anywhere."
Texan: "He said it's called the Stonewall."
Me: "lol that's where we are going tonight."
He was quiet again for a couple minutes. Haha
Texan: "Oh cool! I'm going to text Bobby and let him know I'm going to be there."
He texted Bobby and I did too. Apparently Bobby had already deleted his number so when the Texan texted him "I'll see you tonight at the Stonewall" Bobby didn't know who it was from till after he had gotten my message.
Texan: "So I'll see you tonight cutie?"
Texan: "What time you going?"
Texan: "Ok see you then. It's gonna be fun."
Me: "Ok see you later."
Kevin, Bobby and I went out. I filled Kevin in on what was going on. So did the Texan show up? Nope he totally flaked out! He probably realized he had no game and the fact that I caught him in a few lies. I have a feeling this so called "Southern Gentleman" just wanted to "go down south" and everything was just an act.
It was an interesting night out. At the end of the night Kevin ended up getting into a fight with his ex. He was yelling at him outside (Even smacked him, it was great!) I of course stayed close in case I had to intervene. I got my homo's back! It turned out the incident was a good thing. They decided at the end of the fight to at least be civil let's see if it lasts. I will always have my friend's back and in my close circle of friends I have, I am beginning to see that they have my back as well. I love my gay best friends forever. Homo's before hoes always!