When we were little kids we all played that game 'Whisper Down The Alley.' (The gayer version should be Put It Down My Alley.) You know what I'm talking about, the game in which a lot of people stand in a line. The first person says something to the person on his or her right, and they repeat what they thought they heard to the person on their right, and so on. Then, at the end, the last person in line tells what they heard to the first person. The first person then announces what the original message was and what the final message was. Usually the message is garbled strangely by the end. Rumors work the same way. Usually in the beginning there's some truth to the rumor, but by the time it reaches so many people the truth gets all twisted around. I've seen rumors destroy relationships, friendships, and careers. In the gay community with all our catty bitchy queens a rumor can spread faster than a twinks legs and even faster than crabs. I think the reason for this is, hello we like to talk! We like to gossip and most gay circles are small. Everyone knows someone who has slept with a mutual friend. Everyone has loads of dirty laundry or at least a cum rag.
I've been a victim to rumors all my life. They first started in school. You know the typical rumor "Oh my god is he gay?" Of course that rumor ended up being true, but back then this chubby little Ginger (I was an over weight kid) had no idea really. I just knew I was different, not that I was a boloney pony rider. After I was completely out and thrusted (pun intended) into the gay world I discovered what catty bitchy queens most homos are. In my early 20's I used to go-go dance at this gay bar (Never stripped completely naked it was just down to my underwear) and people always assumed I was this big whore because of it. Guys used to automatically try to make advances towards me, instead of getting to know me. The truth is though that I was still a virgin at that time. My cherry wasn't popped till after I had quit the go-go dancing. Certain boys loved to call me a slut back then because of how I dressed and that I danced in front of men for tips. The reason why I did it was because I liked the attention. (duh) I spent my teen years feeling like a social outcast and when I finally discovered who I was, it was freeing. Finally was comfortable in my own skin, so I showed it.
Rumors have affected some relationships too. I've seen couples break up over gossip. I've seen fights started. With my ex fiancé Richard there was always some sort of rumor attached to our relationship. Some of them were true actually and I wish that I hadn't been so blinded by love. No one wants to admit that someone they care for is doing things behind their back. I think that was my problem. I was so focused on his good side that I refused to believe that he had a shady bad side. All those rumors I used to hear of Richard's shady behavior or that he was cheating on me turned out to actually be real. A part of me did believe them that's why we always got into fights, but I had a hard time admitting the rumors could be true. It didn't help that Richard always turned things around to make it sound like I was at fault or I was just plain stupid. (He was very verbally abusive at times.) Richard had this whole spiel of how everyone was just jealous of our relationship and they are trying to break us up yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah he was a lying sack of shit. I wish I could tie him up and have pitbulls gnaw at his junk or put honey on his ass and make him sit on a mound of fire ants! Words can't describe how I truly despise this low life.
So if you're in a relationship how do you deal with negative rumors? Well first, always listen and pay attention to what's going on with your partner. Is he acting strange? If it's the first time you've ever heard this gossip most likely it's not 100% true, (Don't give haters the satisfaction of creating waves.) ask him about it and see how he reacts. (If he gets really angry to me that would be a red flag) Most likely if you keep hearing the same rumor or similar rumor there may be some truth behind it. Especially if there's more than one gossip queen telling you about it. With Richard I refused to listen to the signs which were right in front of my face, don't be blinded by love or a pretty face.
My true inspiration for this post came from this past weekends events. Kevin, Bobby and I attended a Takeover event. (Gay boys taking over straight places/bars. Everything is planned out in advance. The establishments know what's going on and usually have drink/food specials to cater to us. If you haven't been to one I suggest you try it. We usually have a good time.) This Takeover was at American Hairlines Body & Soul. (A mega beauty salon, spa and fitness center. I'd almost call it Gay Church) They usually have one there about twice a year as some type of fundraiser. This one the proceeds benefited Pride In The Park. (Which is our local Pridefest celebration) They charged $20 a head and you got 2 martini drink tickets, all the wine, beer and soda you could drink, chocolate goodies, (no black cock) a DJ and go-go boys as entertainment. When Bobby found out there was suppose to be go-go boys there he said, "This is ridiculous! Why do we always have to have some sort of half naked eye candy run around every Takeover?" The half naked boys are there as eye candy for the older men that attend, but they really do nothing for us. Most of the guys that attend these events tend be an older crowd (Kevin's ideal. I swear Anna Nicole Smith was reincarnated into that hairy body of his.) and I always thought that 'we' were the eye candy, but apparently we aren't good enough anymore. Haha
We of course arrived early as soon as the event started. (Have to get our $20 worth.) Apparently most of the attendees were sticking to either wine or beer so we ended up getting extra martini drink tickets. I think I had about five martinis and had to call it quits. (When I got home I realized I still had a bunch of tickets in my pocket.) We all were having a pretty decent time. I was chatting with my friend Kile and he asked me, "So what's going on with you and Knockers?" I looked at him laughed and said, "Um, what do you mean?" He replied, "You guys seem close I don't know." I said, "Knock is a really good friend. I chat with him daily and we hang out whenever I get to Philly." Later on in the evening we headed to 40 Below Nightclub for the after party. While we were there Allan approached me and asked, "So what's going on with you and Knockers?" Ok now I think we have a definite rumor here! When I told Allan nothing was going on he laughed and said, "Oh I didn't think so seriously what are two bottoms gonna do together anyways? Bump butts? Scissor?" Allan can be so crude. When I told Knockers about it the next day he said, "You should have been like Knock is the most aggressive top I've ever had!" He is right I should have and I did totally think about it, but that would have fueled the rumor mill even more. To be honest it could be true, Knock could totally be an aggressive top! Who's to say? He seems like he'd be a little go getter when he really wants something.
This isn't the first time that I've heard rumors about Knockers and I. Apparently these Brass Boys (Knock and I call them that because most of them have been around the block a few times and like brass they too are tarnished.) like to talk. A few months ago Harold asked me if there was anything going with Knock and I because he found out we hung out (Facebook) and asked if I ever seen him naked. I of course refuse to answer this. *shakes head* (It was just a little harmless sexting. It's not like I was sitting on his face or anything. Yet.) I think the reason for the rumors is because the Brass Boys don't really know Knock at all. They didn't take the time to get to know him. They all think he is this high maintenance bitch which is totally wrong. He just doesn't take peoples bullshit. (We are very similar on that.) It all comes from jealously. So all these rumor are false there's nothing going on with Knockers and I. He is a sweetheart and a good friend. Trust me if something did or were to happen it would be surely written about! Like a Harlequin romance novel there would be quivering, pulsating members everywhere as I swoon and collapse in ecstasy.
Kevin has had his fair share of rumors as well. There was a little rumor that him and I were together. (Which isn't true he is like a brother although I think his parents probably think we are dating.) Seriously the only thing we have ever done is cuddle. (He farts in my bed trust me there's romance!) People also think he is a little promiscuous. That rumor is slightly true, but at least he embraces his whorey ways. At the after party Kevin met this guy and I swear after 5 minutes of talking to him (Ok maybe it was 10 or 15) he was probing the guys mouth with that massive tongue of his. This is pretty much how it went down; there were introductions between them, making out for 30 minutes, Kevin then asking, "Wait what was your name again?" more making out and then repeat. This is the reason why there's rumors. I rest my case.
Unlike Kevin's putting it out there behavior Bobby is more low key. Rumors though that Bobby is all innocent and shy are completely false. (He's only shy to a point.) Just this week he asked on Twitter if there's an easy way to remove a hickey! When I saw him Saturday it was barely there on his neck. Bobby is what I'd like to call a "Down Low Ho." Hmm how can I put this in the least none piggish way possible? He won't let anything go near any orifice, but is ok giving a helping hand. The truth is Bobby goes on more dates then Kevin and I combined. He has the sweet none threatening appeal which attracts an initial date. Unfortunately he tends to attract guys that just want to hook up so usually there's no second date.
No matter what you do especially if you're in a small gay community people are gonna talk. Hey I write about this stuff. If there wasn't any gossip what the heck would this blog be about in the first place? Just keep a look out for those catty bitches and if you know for a fact that a rumor isn't true, kill it in it's tracks. Don't believe everything you hear right away after all it could just be that 'Whisper Down Alley' thing. "He slept with so and so" could just be "He fell asleep in his bed." "He has crabs" could really be "He ate crabs." (Not sure if I'd risk that one, enter at your own risk.) If rumors are being spread about you and you know who started them, just remember it's ok to slap a bitch.
