June 13, 2011


As I swept my front porch I began to hum a Cinderella song. You know the one, "Cinderelly, Cinderelly! Night and day it's Cinderelly! Make the fire, fix the breakfast, wash the dishes, do the mopping and the sweeping and the dusting. They always keep her hopping. She goes around in circles till she's very, very dizzy.

Still they holler! Keep a-busy Cinderelly!" I thought to myself wow in my financial situation and in this recession wouldn't it be great to be a Houseboy? I'm sure depending on the arrangement though the situation wouldn't be like the story of Cinderella. Instead of riding in a pumpkin carriage, there would be a riding of your pumpkin, instead of talking mice, there be anal gerbils (well maybe) The Fairy Godmother of course would be Cher, the glass slippers would be a glass dildo. (Oops it just fell out of my ass and broke!) and instead of Prince Charming, there would be a horny older guy wanting to put you in a sling as he slammed you with his scepter! I guess depending on who you are that could be your "Fairy"tale. The glass dildo sounds like fun!

I once saw a gay porn based on the Cinderella Fairytale, it was called Billy's Tale. Instead of evil stepsisters he had evil horny stepbrothers that had an incest relationship with each other. Prince Charming was a wealthy endowed silver fox that saved Billy from a life of being a cumdumpster to his stepbrothers. You know it was very similar to the Disney version it was uncanny!

Depending on what I may be asked to do I think I'd be perfect for the role of a houseboy. Looking back at pervious relationships and even friendships I do have that caregiver type gene. I used to clean, cook, and do my exes laundry for them. Some of my exes where slobs too! It was like an episode of Hoarders, but with empty lube bottles and peanuts on the floor! I can't stand a mess! I'm not a neat freak, but I don't like crap all over the place. When I'm in a relationship with someone I do feel the need to take care of them in a housewife type way. I'd be the type to make my hunny a sandwich and S his D after he had a long day at work. I know right, why on earth am I single?

So what exactly is a Houseboy anyways? And what exactly does he do? A Houseboy is typically a male servant or assistant who performs domestic or personal chores. A male housecleaner or housekeeper.

The term "Houseboy" originated around World War II. It was used to describe a native boy who helped a soldier perform basic responsibilities like cleaning, laundry, ironing, shoe-shining, running errands, and the like. I wonder if sexual favors happened back then? Knowing how men are I'm sure some performed "don't ask, don't tell favors. The Houseboy was employed by the soldier to reduce the heavy workload and to cut corners on a large amount of work.

  In the gay community things are alittle different (because we are all dirty homos) a "Houseboy" is typically a younger gay male. The employer or Host is an older, usually wealthier gay man. He typically is more "well-off" than the Houseboy. There may or may not be a romantic/physical relationship. The Houseboy could be simply employed to help out around the house and maybe provide the host with a little eye candy and friendship but nothing more. Like a Poolboy that walks around in a banana-hammock and cleans the pool and uses any excuse to bend over while the Host watches.Usually older gay gentlemen prefer the company of younger gay guys even if there is no sexual advances involved.

For gay males that enjoy S&M, a Houseboy performs domestic chores in exchange for sexual rewards like bondage and ball-gags! Whips and chains excite them! I couldn't imagine knocking on someones door and having a Houseboy answer wearing a leather onesie!

  In the event there could be a possible romantic situation between them (not always purely sexual) the host most likely would be called a "Sugar Daddy." I wonder what goes through very young gay boys minds when they meet a Sugar Daddy that is willing to take care of them. Like does he think, "Wow this is fucking great! I'm totally gonna marry this tombstone!" Anna Nicole would be proud! Just make sure you are in the will. And just remember if he is really, really old and begs you to sit on his face it's probably not the best idea. Can you just picture the death report: Death by anus smothering!

In the instance the relationship is purely nonsexual and nonromantic. The host could offer support, guidance and mentorship to the younger boy. It's kinda like the Big Brother Program but with vacuums and feather dusters. In this nonsexual arrangement both houseboy and host have their own relationships outside of the home, but the Houseboy may do chores and favors for guidance and support. The Host enjoys the company of the Houseboy. Sometimes this arrangement involves money and sometimes it doesn't.

Lastly the Houseboy is just simply employed by the Host and nothing more and the Host is just simply viewed as a boss. It's considered an actual job and it's just like any normal boss and employee relationship.
Bobby's opinion on the whole Houseboy thing, "This is reality for some people. I would say its a very symbiotic relationship. The little Houseboy makes out with being taken care of and the older guy (whether he is a Daddy or not) gets to basically bang the Houseboy whenever he wants. (If it's that kind of arrangement.) The one who makes out better in my opinion is the Houseboy just because they can hitch a ride (no pun intended) on the money train until they are out of school or find a job or a better Daddy to jump on to. It's not a healthy relationship for sure, but hey, is that anything new in the gay world?"

In my gay little world I've actually seen all the types of Houseboys mentioned above. My one friend has a side job cleaning other friend's houses. It's strictly professional. There is no "funny business" going on. He gets paid to clean, organize and run errands that's it. I have an older friend whom I guess could fall into the Sugar Daddy category. I have seen him change Houseboys like someone would change their underwear. Not long go he had a twenty something twink, who also advertised on Grindr that he would do sexual things for money. The twink used to do certain things around his house. I know their relationship was strictly sexual there was no romantic interest on either side. I'm not sure on the payments but I do know my older friend used to pay the Houseboy's bills. He even bought him a new cell phone and in return I'm sure this Housewhore gave him something only a prescription could get rid of.

I've seen the mentoring aspect of the Houseboy a few times as well. One relationship for example; Daddylicious and Ken. He doesn't pay Ken, but I do know Ken helps him out around the house sometimes and in return Daddylicious hooks him up with special perks. Perks like free stays at the beach house, free trips, free drinks, free stuff! Does Daddylicious hope for more, like a physical and a romantic relationship? Probably, that's most likely why he does all those things for Ken. Does Ken realize that Daddylicious probably has feelings for him? Most definitely! Ken isn't stupid he knows what he is doing. In any case as of right now Ken gets what he wants and Daddylicious gets the company of a younger attractive guy which is what he wants.
So would I actually want to be a Houseboy? To be honest I wouldn't mind getting paid to clean, cook and run errands. I'll even wear cute little outfits and gladly clean the pool or hot tub as long as I can use them. Seriously if interested give me a holla cause this little ginger needs to buy new short shorts. I could use the extra cash. In terms of the whole sexual favors included in the housework, I wouldn't be into that. That is practically being a male prostitute! This isn't the movie Pretty Woman, good things don't happen to prostitutes. Richard Gere isn't gonna pound my ass and then offer me all my dreams. Things don't work out that way. Everything has a price. I would however mop floors and then slop on my boyfriends peen if had one, I'd do that for free, no payment required...well ok shiny gifts would be appreciated.