Question: What Are You Going To Be For Halloween?

He tugged on the leash like a poor animal tugging on it's tether with no place to go. Perhaps the collar I placed around his neck was too tight. Oh well. In the deepest voice I could possibly muster, I yanked on the restraint hard and yelled, “Come here, Meat!” Richard followed me as I held onto his leash and guided him through the crowd of costumes. Ghouls, ghosts, gangsters and a gang of underwear wearing, body painted superheroes filled the room. Out of all the things I have ever been on Halloween this was my absolute favorite. It was my idea to play up the whole slave and master leather look. Because it was so not my personality, I of course was the master, and my fiancé at the time, Richard was the slave.

I actually made my costume from a child's demon costume I found at K-mart. It was perfect. It was a stretchy black pleather shirt with fake chains going across the chest. Of course in gay standards it wasn't sexy enough so I made a few alterations. I cut the sleeves off and the inner lining out. It then looked like a leather vest with holes and that was connected by chains. The skimpy kinky vest was perfect I only hoped it wasn't going to be cold, because I would have no shirt on. I completed my look with a leather whip, handcuffs, and chains I used as a belt. For Richard's costume we again found something on the children's costume rack. Who knew kids costumes could be so dirty? We makeshift a pirate costume into the slave. I again had the task to "gay it up." I cut the sleeves off of the black pirate shirt and cut the collar so more of his chest would show. Because it was a child's costume the pants were ultra tight! They left nothing to the imagination. You could clearly see the vein in his penis. In fact when we were at the party and I accidentally brushed my booty up against his package he started to get a boner. Mission accomplished.

Our slave and master look was the hit of the party. Especially when I kept yanking on Richard's leash yelling, “Get over here Meat!” (it seemed the only time he ever listened to me was in bondage) and smacking his ass with the whip. When we got home we continued to play the slave and master roles. I remember sex being extremely fun that night. I kept my master costume (still have it) but Richard's pants got all ripped up somehow hmmm...

Halloween is like a gay holy holiday! It lets homos (and anyone) be someone or something else for the night. You can be as quirky or as sexy as you want to be. You can embrace your secret desire to dress in drag, or wear an outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination! Some may say that spandex is a privilege not a right. But so what if you're 100 pounds overweight, you wear that skin tight Richard Simmons leotard and pretend you're sweating to the 80's! There's no “Honey, What's going on here, what's happening, what is this?” judgement. Halloween is the only holiday you get a "free pass" for your fashion decisions.

Over the years I have been many different things for Halloween:
Hugh Hefner (with bunny slippers, a pipe and leopard print robe.)
Pimp (James dressed as a woman, he was my whore. Didn't look too bad either. I tried to grow chest hair for this costume, but it didn't work. Haha!!)
Slutty cowboy (complete with chaps and underwear that said, “Saddle up!” I remember it being freezing that night, so a friend had a fun task of warming up my buns.)
Bad kitty (My ex manager used to call me "bad kitty" so I went to work in costume. I was meowing and spitting.)
Devil (skin tight red paints and red body paint. I wore this when I go-go danced. Guys played with my tail.)
S&M Master (Chains, and whips, and handcuffs oh my.)
Dog Trainer (Kevin went as my dog and I told people I worked at "Bone Commander Training School For Your Little Dog" Kevin's name was Piddles. He wasn't housebroken yet.)

Every year I'm invited to at least 5 gay Halloween parties, but I usually can only make 2. It's really a popular holiday for us mo's. We love the creative, dressing up, sexy fun of it. Oh and of course most hosts go all out with booze, food and decor. Gotta have a little treat with your trick, right?

***Question: So what are you planning on being this year for Halloween? What was the craziest costume you ever wore? And do you prefer to make your own costume or buy it already made?

Please click on the blue comment link below to submit your answers.

OutFest In The Gayborhood

There's one thing that I think anyone can agree on whether you're gay, straight, bi, tri we ALL just want to be accepted. I find myself even now as an adult, still craving acceptance. I have this issue where I want everyone to like me and I'll go out of my way to try to get the approval. Since I wasn't accepted when I was a teenager I think I over compensate now. When it comes to friends I need to feel included and if I don't I overreact. The inner bitch comes out. (My head rotates full around and I speak in tongues. Ask Kevin he's seen it!)
So what was on my gay agenda last weekend?
-Spend time with family and friends.
-Get drunk and sweaty in a crowd of hot homos on the street.
-Be treated equally and feel accepted.
- Buy milk (Hey it does a body good).

OutFest or as I'd like to call it "Pride The Sequel" was the perfect place to cross off 3 of those things on my list. OutFest is a huge block party about coming out, accepting who you are and embracing your gay life. It's one of the few times where you can walk around the streets of Philadelphia with an alcoholic drink in hand without concealing it in a brown paper bag and flirt with hot shirtless banana hammock clad passerbyers! It's the biggest and most unusual block party you may ever wittness!

  Bobby, Kile and I arrived Sunday afternoon (10/9) to find a sea of people everywhere! We entered the block party around 12th and Spruce where there was a dance area. Lady Gaga billowed out in full force from the giant speakers! I watched a very sweaty chiseled black guy dance in the middle of the crowd. He would have made my friend Sean's butt pucker if he was there.

Usually every community group has a booth, tent or some type of display at OutFest. There's vendors selling everything you can imagine and some vendors give out sample products and free giveaways! Call me a Jew, but I love free shit! I grabbed free condoms for Kevin. I figured he may need them someday. Bobby took the packet of lube I had because he "thought it was cute." I guess we know what he will be doing later.

OutFest even had a flea market. It's the perfect place if you're a drag queen and need some new clothes for costumes. Every bar and restaurant in the Gayborhood has some sort of event. There's usually some muscly oiled up hottie (Slip~N~Slides) standing outside to entice people to go into the bar. They put all your drinks in plastic cups so you can then leave the bar and walk around if you choose. Of course there's tons of food and drink booths along street, so forget your usual lunch of a TicTac and diet coke. Eat up and drink up! There were circus events. A very sexy man dangling from a rope (which made me wanna buy a sex swing) and a tightrope walker (which shows not only can he balance on your cock, but on other things as well).

The main stage at 13th and Locust hosted an array of entertainment. Drag queens, singers, dance performances, hot guys from 12th Street Gym working out and an old school "pulling rabbits out of hats" magician. Pennsylvania Attorney General candidate Patrick Murphy gave a very powerful speech on sexual orientation discrimination. Mayor Michael Nutter made an appearance around 2 pm to dedicate the second LGBT historic marker in the state to Giovanni's Room, the oldest LGBT bookstore in the country! Kile pointed out that the guy that designed our pride flag (Gilbert Baker) also made an appearance. I said, "So he is like the gay Betsy Ross?" Kile replied with, "Yes he is!" Bobby looking all puzzled said, "Who's Betsy Ross?" I swear hanging out with Kevin is rubbing off on him! There were penis shaped bagel eating, high heel racing, and pet show contests as well. The main stage had something for everyone and if all that stuff wasn't your thing it was fun just to people watch!

We bar hopped at iCandy, Tavern on Camac and Woody's. I hadn't been in Woody's since they redid it. The bar looks so much better and it's more spacious. They had country line dancing in the club room. We all wanted this tall drink of water that was dancing in a tank top. I was ready to "saddle up!" The one bartender at Woody's was so ripped and so perfect he could have done porn and I would have wanted to watch it!

The streets had various attractions and sights. There was a mechanical bull, we stopped to watch a guy try it. He held on pretty well. He must have been a bottom. iCandy had a tent full of underwear boys, that's one way to pitch a tent! A rotating orb thing was in the middle of street where I spotted a guy who rotated around in a circle for five minutes. I tried to convince Bobby to try it out. I wanted to take pictures of him in it, but he didn't go for it. There were drag queens and a cowboy with a fanny pack (I know right, that's sooooo lesbian of him) on stilts. We passed people dressed up in animal costumes. (Furries) They kinda looked like foxes or wolves and skipped through the crowd looking for a bone. There's this whole furry fetish obsession among certain people. I've heard of people dressing up in these costumes and taking on roles of animals and even having sex. I thought the costumes were really cute, but I didn't want to get fucked by one. If the Furries didn't do it for ya there were real animals to pet. Dogs, puppies, all kinds of pussy. Even poodles dyed every color of the pride flag.

  A shirtless oiled-up guy roamed the Gayborhood with a sign that read "Kiss me, I'm gay!" There's no doubt in my mind he was going to need to invest in some Herpicil or at least some sort of anti-bacterial wash! That's probably why Walgreens was one of the sponsors. With all the people that kissed him that day maybe scientists could have gathered DNA and found out where herpes began.

Of course with all the positive energy flowing through the crowd of LGBT peeps and the people that love them, there has to be a few negative Nancy's. OutFest had several openly gay and allied priests, but there was a few religious protestors, as well. An anti-gay prayer circle was held at the Main Stage area trying to pray our sin away. Good luck with that! A middle-age man shouted Bible verses at people during the entire event! There was even a religious nut job proclaiming he was born again straight and Jesus can save us if we let him in. I bet he masturbated when he got home thinking about all the half naked guys that walked by him.

All the protesters had police standing by them. I assume it was to protect them from us, since we out numbered them. I am of course a believer in freedom of speech but you won't catch gay people protesting outside of churches or their religious events! We don't force our beliefs on anyone. All we want is to be treated equally like any other person. I can't stand being preached too especially when it's from a book that isn't even relevant anymore! Don't get me wrong I'm not anti religion. I think any positive religion is a good thing. I do consider myself more spiritual than religious though. I just can't stand close minded individuals. Just because it's different, doesn't make it wrong.

With way over 25,000 gay people and allies that attended OutFest it proves that there is hope in this world. There's still a lot of work ahead of the LGBT community, but 25,000 people that accept us and love us is a start. After all Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love, right?

FCKH8.com

Wanna read more about OutFest and National Coming Out Day? Please see the post:
National Coming Out Weekend Are you in the closet? For tips and stories on coming out please see the post:
Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are

***Due to unforeseen circumstances I lost all my pictures I took at OutFest. If you were there and have pictures of the stuff mentioned in the above article please SEND THEM to me. I will give you credit for taking the pictures.

Question: How Much Is Too Much?

All over the Internet there has been this article about this 16 year old male that died from excessive masturbation. Some believe it to be true and others are saying it's a hoax. Some say he "beat himself to death!" If it's true I really feel sorry for him, he didn't even reach the prime of his life and obviously needed serious help. Here's some of the story. I wasn't able to find the original story from the Brazil newspaper if you find it please EMAIL it to me.

"A 16-year-old boy died after masturbating 42 times without stopping in Rubiato town, in Goiás region, Brazil.
His mother told a local newspaper that she already knew about his addiction and that she planned to see the doctor, but the decision came too late.
The young man began to masturbate at midnight and spent the whole night compulsively touching himself.
At school, his classmates commented on the boy's problem and some said he asked them to connect to the webcam to observe his behavior.
They further said that his attraction to women was extreme; he was attracted to all kinds of women, regardless of color, physique and age.
In his room a great amount of pornography was found, including photographs, magazines and videos of nude women that were saved on his PC."






I'd say the help "came" too late! I guess that pun was intended. I'm not exactly sure how they reached the exact number of 42 times. It's not like his mother was in there watching him. Some stated his classmates were watching and that's how they knew and others said they used this formula below to give an estimation:Estimate 7 hours x 60 = 420 minutes
420/42 = 10 minutes/time
Someone joked, "They counted all the puddles of shame or all the tissues."


Now whether this story is true or false one must ask some basic questions like how was he able to maintain an erection? Some men are able to masturbate for hours and even have several orgasms, but 42? Is that even possible? Most men have to wait for what is called a "Refractory Period." It is the period of time in men immediately following ejaculation, during which further erection or orgasm is not possible. Sometimes this period lasts anywhere from 10-30 minutes depending on the person. Now I assume since he was only 16 his Refractory Period was probably only 10 minutes between each squirt, but after so many times I would think continuing would have been painful. What about chaffing? Talk about "rubbing yourself raw!" and after so long wouldn't you just start puffing out air?

If this story is true the 16 year old boy was a sex addict. Sexual addiction is a phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior and affects many people. Experts believe that sexual addiction is actually a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and refer to it as sexual compulsivity. Most likely they have other obsessive disorders as well.

  We've all heard that masturbation and sex is healthy, but exactly what could happen if you take it to the extreme?

Excessive sexual stimulation can cause acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions. This immoderate amount of stimulation can result in an over-production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters like acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin, causing a considerable change in body chemistry. Your body uses a lot of energy and testosterone to make semen. The side effects of these changes in body chemistry can manifest themselves as:
Fatigue
Hair loss
Memory loss
Blurred vision
Groin/testicular pain
Seminal leakage, otherwise described as the emission of sperm from the penis without an erection, is another common problem associated with extreme masturbation. This is a sign that the nerve keeping the ejaculation valve shut is weakening because of excessive use and over-stimulation. Like I said "rubbing it raw!"
Because over-masturbation distresses liver and nervous system functions, it can also lead to sexual exhaustion (even in younger males). The 16 year old could have actually died from distress on his liver and fatigue. It's most likely he didn't just start with 42 times. From the article above it looks like he had been engaging in excessive masturbation for quite some time. All these problems could have built up until his last marathon finally sent him over the edge.

Sex addiction such as this not only creates physical problems, but may get in the way of your work and family life the same way any other addictions (like alcohol or gambling) would. If you feel you have a sex addiction please seek professional help.


Question: Do you think the above article about the 16 year old could be true? And how much is too much? Where's the line between normal sexual activity and excessive sexual activity? What's your max number of how many times you polished your knob in a single day and would you consider yourself a sex addict?Please click on the blue comment link below to leave your answers.

For more information on masturbation see the post It's All About Spanking The Monkey and the post It's All About The Banana

It's All About Spanking The Monkey

or Masturbating, Jerking Off, Stroking It, Jacking Off, Wank, Spanking It, Assault on a Friendly Weapon, Squirting Some Tadpoles, Beating Off, Making Batter, Choking The Chicken, Beating Your Meat, Blow Your Load, Polishing The Wood, Bludgeon the Beefsteak, Bopping your Bologna, Couch Hockey for One, Father Palm and His Five Friends, Devil's Handshake, Making The Dew, Spreading The Mayo, Greasing your Bone, Hand Job, Handy-J, Jackin' the Beanstalk, Making Nut Butter, Jerk the Gherkin, Mangling the Midget, Playing With Your Noodle, Polishing The Bishop, Pump the Python, Rubbing One Out, Scratching An Inch, Punchin' The Munchkin, Shaking Hands With Shorty, Shifting The Gear, Tenderize The Meat, Tickle The Pickle, Waxin' your Jackson, Wiggling your Worm, Tossing The Dwarf, Anointing The Altar Boys, Wrist Work, Yanking It, Posing My Action Figure, Favoring Oneself In An Unsatisfactory Way, Popping The Weasel, Releasing Frustration.

They say an average adult male thinks about sex every 7 seconds. I wonder if gay males think about it more often? Masturbation is something just about everyone does, but rarely talks about. You know the joke, "Stop playing with yourself or you'll go blind!" or "Every time you masturbate god kills a kitten." If these were true then there be blind people and kitten carcasses all over the place! Touching ourselves is what hands are for. If we weren't made to touch ourselves we would have been born like T-Rexes

With the success of my post It's All About The Banana, I decided to do another one about Wanking your Doodle Dandy. Below are fun filled facts about masturbation. Some I found online, others I discovered from chatting with people and I even conducted my own survey.

  -Masturbation refers to sexual stimulation, especially of one's own genitals, often to the point of orgasm.
When I was young I had no idea what it was or what I was doing. All I remember is it felt good. The first time I spooged all over I was like, "What is this icky stuff?" I was only 12 and hadn't started Health class yet, so I was pretty clueless. I learned quickly though as most males do. I mean how can we not touch our genitalia it just hangs there!

-The first ejaculation in males often occurs about 12 months after the onset of puberty
Oh my god look I have hair down there! The carpet matches the drapes!

-Many men who began masturbation or other sexual activity prior to puberty report having been able to achieve multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms.
All that good feeling with no messy clean up!

-Nocturnal emission is the ejaculation of semen during sleep.
During puberty, 13% of males experience their first ejaculation as a result of a nocturnal emission. (wet dreams)
Sweet dreams are made of this. "Have Happy Nocturnal Emissions" should be on a greeting card. I'm gonna call Hallmark.

"There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!"

-Studies show that 81% of men began masturbating between the ages of 10 and 15 and the largest group viewing online pornography is ages 12 to 17!

See we start out as little perverts at an early age. From the survey I conducted I discovered the average age of first time masturbation is between 11-14. Derek told me a story of the first time he ever Choked Richard Till He Threw Up; "I was dry humping a pillow and came. I was only 12 years old and my penis fell limp right away, so I thought I broke it! It really scared me! I started to cry and have a fit. I asked my dad what happened and he said, "Well it isn't broken and trust me I'm sure you'll be doing that a lot more often, so make sure you are getting your sheets washed!" Then he told me I didn't have to just hump, I could rub it too! It was a very tender father, son moment." Sounds like a future Disney movie to me!

-Circle jerk is slang for male group masturbation (usually referring to a practice of adolescent males).
You know boys will be boys. Among some people I have chatted with some say it was common when they were younger for a small group of guys to hang out and masturbate together. (not touching each other just in the same room.) I've also heard of guys making games out of jerking off. Like the first one to cum wins or the one that shoots his load the furthest wins. Oh the secret games guys will play together when they are bored! Of course none of these guys were even considered gay at the time either. (Rolls eyes) Future homos or closet cases in the making.

-Many men masturbate daily, or even more frequently, well into their 20s and sometimes far beyond. Alfred Kinsey's studies have shown that 92% of men will masturbate in their lifespan. About 50% of men masturbate at least once a day, 75% at least once a week, and 99% at least once a month!
Among the survey that I conducted I found that most guys Tame The Snake at least once a day, five times a week. Guys with a higher sex drive (various ages) will masturbate 2-3 times a day or any chance they can get! Sounds like those guys have a lot of um time on their hands. (pun intended) Kevin stated, "I think it's so much better when u let ur balls fill up!" Kevin is always good at advice giving.

-Some men are able to masturbate for hours at a time, achieving orgasm many times.
I call these men, lucky bastards! Perhaps it's a good thing that all of us can't do this. Things would never get done and surfaces everywhere would be sticky! From my survey I discovered that the average time one plays with his Flesh Twinkie is 5-20 minutes.

-Autofellatio is the act of a male performing oral sex on himself. Only 1 in 400 men are flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure.
Bending it like Beckham! Dogs lick themselves because they can and if all guys could do that you know we would. Heck, if I could do that I'd never leave me house again!

•Ways To Prolong Orgasm

-Edging
Or also called "The Start and Stop Technique" Coming nearly close to climax or ejaculation, then stopping sexual stimulation in order to delay the orgasm, so that the ultimate climax will be more intense. "Edging" is not a practice necessary inclusive of masturbation, but is also practiced amongst homosexual and heterosexual partners. Edging is a good sex therapy technique for a man to learn control of his ejaculation.
"I'm on the edge of glory and hanging on moment with you" brings new meaning to the song now huh.
 
-Kegel Exercises
Though commonly used by women, men can also use Kegel exercises to help achieve stronger erections and gain greater control over ejaculation. Kegel exercises are exercises done to increase the strength of the pelvic floor muscle and to help achieve better orgasms. One exercise for men to try is to hold your urine in. While peeing hold your urine in so you stop peeing for a count of ten. Then release, pee a little and hold again. Do this a few times every time you pee it will help you hold back and you'll last longer. One warning though, don't do this in public restrooms because the guying peeing next to you will think you're cray cray.

•Health Benefits of Slamming the Salami 

-Masturbation is healthy! In fact, it is a natural way that you express and explore your body and sexual feelings.
Love thy self so you can love others.

-Some professionals consider masturbation to function as a cardiovascular workout.
It's like Curves for men!

-Masturbation may increase fertility during intercourse. A recent study found daily ejaculation to be an important factor in sperm health and motility.
Ew breeder sex, but I assume this is important since it takes breeders to make a mo anyways.

 
-Both sex and masturbation lower blood pressure.
It also promotes world peace. Ok maybe that last one is a little out there, but think of it, if men were too busy playing with their little guns, they wouldn't have time for anything else. 

 
-Sexual climax, from masturbation or otherwise, leaves one in a relaxed and contented state, followed closely by drowsiness and sleep.
Results for my survey indicate that a majority of men play with their Wang before they go to bed to help them relax. 

-Endorphins released during orgasm can dull the chronic pain of backaches and arthritis as well as migraines.
Calgone can't take you a way that much!

-It is held in many mental health circles that masturbation can relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-worth.
A wank a day keeps the blues away. 

-Masturbating daily will promote greater prostate health and prevent cancer.
Enough said!

  •Masturbation Fetishes
(I don't recommend all of these, some are so weird!)

-Autoerotic asphyxia is the practice of self-induced strangulation or asphyxiation while masturbating.
This is dangerous, but the only nice part is you don't need a safety word. I guess if you went too crazy on yourself you could make yourself pass out, which isn't a good idea if you're by yourself.

-Masturbation in front of your partner can be a turn-on for both partners and is a very enjoyable part of lovemaking. Mutual Masturbation or a Hand Job (Handy-J) can be a safe sex practice and very erotic.
Don't have a partner? You can try to fake it by trying the masturbation technique called "The Stranger" sit on your non-dominant hand till it goes numb (for me it's my left hand) and Whack your Willy. Because you won't have much feeling in that hand you're using, it will fill like someone else is touching you.

-Axillary intercourse is the sexual activity in which a man masturbates his penis in his partner's armpit.
People actually do this? "Wow hunny that new Old Spice deodorant is really turning me on. I'm about to bust a nut all in your pits!" You could wear it then like an Axe commercial "Double pits to chestie."

-More than 70% of men aged 18-34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month.
Porn is often used in conjunction with playing with oneself. Kevin says, "I blast my porn until I get a really good one to finish the job." I'll admit I do the same. Some scenes just turn you on more than others do.

-Men often will call upon erotic memories during masturbation. Like past sexual encounters and fantasies.
I'd be lying if I said I've never done this. Can ya guess who I think about?

-Ablutophilia is the sexual pleasure derived from taking baths, showers, or other modes of washing oneself.
I can't take a bath without "sinking the submarine" to be honest. The survey I did stated that in the shower was the second most popular place (Bed was the first) to send your "Seamen" into battle.

-Sex Toys like a dildo are often intended for bodily penetration during masturbation or sex with a partner or partners.
The orgasms produced by anal play of a male are usually more pleasurable than the orgasm of regular masturbation. Some men have reported having multiple consecutive orgasms, particularly without ejaculation.
It is possible for a man to have an orgasm without ejaculation (dry orgasm). Most times this can only occur through anal simulation. See the post Advice: Bottomed Out for more info. 

-Other Masturbation toys such as Fleshlight (For straight men) and a Fleshjack (For gay men) are popular self simulating tools. I've heard from multiple sources that this is the sex toy to invest in!

So I have to ask how many of you want to touch yourself after reading this? Does little Jimmy wanna play? Just remember masturbation does not cause hairy palms, deafness, scarlet fever, brain damage, cause you to go insane or send you straight to hell. BUT

haha just kidding guys. So wank away it's healthy. (in moderation) Just remember if you're a shooter keep your eyes closed that shit burns.

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HapPENIS

It's probably the most used pickup line among gay men, "Are you a top or a bottom?" Frankly it's not even a good pickup line. It's not funny or witty. It doesn't make me wanna have sex with you or even talk to you. The only way this pickup line works is if the guy is DTF (Down To Fuck) and I guess because the gay community is filled with cock hungry whores that's why it works on some. I on the other hand need something a tad more witty in order for it to work on me. Something like, "If you were a potato chip and I were a battery, you'd be Frito~Lay and I'd be EveryReady!" That would definitely get my attention, cheesy as it sounds.If you're unfamiliar with the gay terms top or bottom you must live under a rock. A top is the 'active partner' or anal insertive (giver) and a bottom is more the 'passive partner' or anal receptive.

Most people assume that a top gets all the pleasure and the bottom is merely just a tight little hole for him pound to away on. This is untrue. Both positions/practices create sensations for both parties. An anal orgasm that a bottom experiences is rather unique. It can occur with or without ejaculation. Sometimes NO stimulation of the actual penis is required to reach an orgasm and it can be rather intense. For all you straight women reading this, if you ever stuck your finger in your boyfriends booty during sex and he exploded everywhere, you kinda know what I'm talking about. Nothing like 'ropes of cum' on the ceiling and wall. Top and bottom is more than just being sexual positions or roles. It's more than being assertive or passive. It has to do with a state of mind, but has it gone to far? I recently read an article about a study done on gay men and their sexual behavior. The article asked the question, "Does penis size determine if you are a top or a bottom and does the size of a man's penis determine if he is happy?" This has created some heated debate among the homos. The study conducted had questionable findings. Can the size of a man's penis really affect his sexual health?

The actual study was called, "The Association between Penis Size and Sexual Health among Men Who Have Sex with Men," it was launched by the National Institute of Health. They studied just over a thousand gay men and this is their findings:

1. Gay men who felt they had small or inadequate penis sizes were more likely to become "bottoms," while gay men with larger penises were more likely to identify themselves as "tops."

2. Men with smaller penises were more likely to be psychologically troubled than those with larger genitalia. The goal of the study was to understand the "real individual-level consequences of living in a penis-centered society."

Do you think their findings are accurate? I decided to do my own little study among gay men in my circle and complete strangers. (I love asking strangers about their junk. Cue: uncomfortable silences) I wanted to determine if this was really as important as the National Institute of Health make it out to be. Here is what some of my friends had to say:
Tristan said, "I am totally irritated by the whole top/bottom role business. If the bigger cock is the top, I'll bet that's related more to one time hookups than anything else. It doesn't make sense to me that a size comparison would matter. To be honest, it probably has more to do with whether one person is a germ freak or not. There's been a lot of times when I don't top because it involves putting a valuable part of my anatomy into an asshole!" I bet some of those guys were actual assholes too!

James said, "This study is false. I've had 2 serious relationships and I was the larger in both and I've played both roles. I've met quite a few very well endowed black guys who are complete bottoms, too!" Hmm black cock. Bobby said, "Although I don't have much experience with the whole top and bottom thing. I think that it is false. It's more based on personality. Whoever is the more dominant personality type is the top. In my opinion." Bobby is on to something there.

Friday night there was a Takeover Event at Bear Creek Mountain Resort and I thought that would be the perfect place to ask some guys about this top and bottom bullshit. Kevin of course usually my partner in crime accompanied me.

As we climbed the mountain in my car and we reached the top he said, "So this is a ski resort? Where's the snow?" I only think he was half kidding. Kevin and I chatted about the study and I admitted in most of my relationships and sexual experience I was usually the bottom and perhaps if I did have a larger penis maybe I would be a top more. My friend Jeffy made a great point when we talked about this, "You didn't wake up and were like "I'm gay but my cocks not big enough, so I'll just bottom! You do it because you like it." I do like the submissiveness sexually in the bottom role, but to be honest when it came to the actual emotional relationships I was more of the dominant one. I partly think this is true because of my strong personality. I need a man who can handle me emotionally. Apply within.

Kevin's thoughts on the study were actually well thought out and passionate. Here is what he had to say, "I think the whole "tops have the bigger penis size thing" is all about what people have been taught to be socially acceptable among the gay population. It's almost as though gay men have been brainwashed to think that way and that's why it has come to be the more common thing. I think alot of bottoms have been forced to abide by this, but let's just say this, "Do u think every heterosexual male has to have a big one in order to stick it in something?" No a man is a man! Every guy likes to stick their dick in something! Most gay men will just go with the flow cuz tops tend to be more controlling. This is something I actually feel strongly about in my relationships, I want both of us to be versatile. I personally do not want to be just the top or the bottom. I want to feel equal. If a guy is always a bottom and wants to try being a top I think he has the full right too! And if the top denies him this I say the bottom should withhold sex. I would certainly do that!" Kevin's approach to equality in a relationship is refreshing. I told him how much I loved his mature response and he said, "I know right? I'm like super smarticle."

Kevin's approach to the whole 'brainwash' aspect could be correct. We've always been told "bigger is better" or is it? Gay men seem to have a fetish with huge penises and even worship them as if they are attached to Jesus himself. One could say heterosexual men have a little wiggle room when they tell a woman their penis size, but gay men will get out a measuring tape and magnifying glass just to verify.

Gay men obviously know how to suck a dick well. I think it's coded in our DNA, and maybe we have practicing since birth. This just proves that happiness isn't measured by ones genitalia. Kile says, "Big cocks are for sucking and small ones are for fucking." Enough said!

There's a group of gay men that rarely or never participate in anal sex. They actually prefer only oral sex. One of my first boyfriends was actually that way. He didn't like anal sex at all and said he didn't want to infect pain on someone he cared about so he could have pleasure. Looking back at it now I think I would have been fine. My ass isn't the Grand Canyon, but I'm sure it would have accommodated him. Among my friends there are a few that prefer oral, like Bobby, George, and Kevin. They would rather slob on a pulsating knob than take a ride on the log flume. I guess in this case size doesn't matter.

  So what else happened at Bear Creek after my research was over? Kevin discovered they turn the automatic doors off at midnight because he walked right into them. (Just another thing to add to the list of things that aren't his friends such as; revolving doors, liquids, glasses, flat surfaces and any messy food in general.) I got an invitation to sit on someone's face. I did hesitate in a response because it's been such a long time but ultimately declined his offer. We also learned guys with the name "Hoyt" are cornfed and hot!

When you say "no" you get called a slut. Kevin was attacked by Harold whom wanted to hook up with him. Harold preceded to fondle Kevin I guess in an effort to entice him. It didn't work. And when Kevin refused his advices and pushed him off. Harold got mad and said, "Well why not you're a slut anyway?" I guess he thought since Kevin once slept with his friend he would have a shot, but a way to get into someone's pants is NOT to call them a slut.

  Bobby discovered confidence is a must when trying to talk to new and cute guys. He tried to follow advice he received from Dr. Stacy. (Host of the podcast 'Why You Suck In Bed' on The Glory Hole Radio Network. I've listened to them a few times and they are fabulous! Check them out.) Dr. Stacy told him to be confident and not to second guess what he wants to say. I personally did see an improvement in his overall demeanor. Bobby seemed less socially awkward than normal. Although the event did have slim pickins, I feel he made the best of it. I've always told him that "you have good things down there." He needs to hypnotize the mo's with his penis and DSLs not worry so much.

So what was my conclusion on the research? Does size matter and does it determine if someone is a top or a bottom? That study was a bunch of baloney. Of all the guys I have talked to they all said size does not determine the sexual position, their personality does. Sure bigs ones are fun to look at and maybe play with, but I'd rather have a guy with a heart than a big cock any day. Respect what you got, respect the cock!

*Remember no glove, no love. Regardless if you're the top or the bottom make sure you practice safe sex.

  Below are some more comments guys had about the study the National Institute of Health did:
"If you oppose the social pressures and allow inner confidence and attitude to rule than an average guy like me can make endowed men be my slave(s)."
"It's rubbish, I'm built like a donkey and I'm completey bonkers..."
"Gee when I was in the military I found a lot of well hung guys wanted to be penetrated by guys like me with medium to small (6 inches) penises. But we also had a tradition that the guy with the smaller pecker, which was often me, had to suck off the guy with the bigger cock. So..."
"I think the study is silly (that is to say limited) Where are the men who are NOT obsessed with anal-insertive sex? I am mostly a top, but mostly not into anal sex. The implication that queer sex MUST involve fucking, and that anything less is somehow inferior is a dictative prejudice--particularly in the time of HIV/AIDS. I like to think that I'm still around and healthy because I have not engaged in risky behavior. I don't think dick size has much to do with taking a top or bottom role in sex. I have known plenty of big-hung men who were either, or who liked both. What I have noticed about well-hung men is that they are sometimes narcissistic, unconcerned with mutual pleasure, tend to lay back to "get done," and think their big dicks warrant them some special treatment, as though they are god's gift to the rest of us. (I've also had wonderful lovers with ample endowments.)"
"Well this is one Bullshit study as are so many studies around gay men."

"I don't think dick size determines what you like but I think big guys tend to be more toppish and us little guys tend to do the bottom role."
"I love to suck cock and make it cum. I don't care if it big or small. They all get hard and cum . I will do both top or bottom and my cock is 6.5 and fat. When I bottom I like small ones, big ones hurt to much."
"If I had more than 4 inches I think I'd be more of a top, so maybe the study is correct."
"I actually am more willing to bottom for a guy with a medium or small cock. They seem to be better at hitting the spot to be honest. Although I do try for versatility in every relationship, I usually end up topping."
"The gay population should not be separated by groups, since people must adopt the sexual position which is more of their liking. With sex one obtains pleasure, it's not about what the partner prefers."
"I am 7.75" and I am a 100% bottom. I have known that I wanted to be the receptive partner since I was 8 years old, as it is what makes me feel complete."

"I'm a massive but I am very versatile. I will make you smile!"
"I do not agree with this study. Size has nothing to do with being top or bottom. It all depends on what you enjoy most. Me and my boyfriend both have almost same size penis,(7" if you are curious) but I'm the top and he is the bottom. Sometimes when I'm in a mood I like to be the bottom to please him, but unfortunately he really doesn't enjoy being top at all."
"I think the fact that guy's cocks vary so much is amazing. What causes that in genetics I wonder? I wonder if some day they will be able to make them surgically bigger like breast implants do now. I wish cause I'd pay for another inch or two."
"Perhaps, this study is true but only for the group studied. For me it all boils down to personal preference and what each man considers pleasurable. Unfortunately, it is assumptive that because one is gay, anal sex is a given. That couldn't be farther from the truth. It's a bit like saying all lesbians use dildos; another assumption that is so incorrect. I'm fairly well endowed (8+) but have met so many men with smaller penises that are total tops and are not bothered by their penis size. In my mind, it's the whole package as well, ie: to whom that penis is attached to. A big penis is great to look at but not always great to sit on! Being the bottom in anal sex is not for everyone and again boils down to preference, sexual mood or both."
"I have an incredibly thick cock and it is as much of a curse as a blessing. Many guys are afraid of the size. Those who are not usually can't take it anyway. Of course it's fun to try, but not real satisfying in the end. I have mostly been a top, but don't get many opportunities as a whole."
"I agree, I have a 4 1/2" cut penis, and always felt like a bottom, being very submissive when I'm with a top."
"It dosen't matter it depends on the person I have a 10'' cock and I like to bottom!"
"I love to be either top or bottom, but like to suck it more."
"I guess I've been more of a top in the sack, until recently when a guy I've been dating has been nailing me on a regular basis, sort of makes me regret what I've been missing..."
"I am 6 foot tall and my hard dick desparatley reaches 5inch, and when I meet guys they nail me down to be a submissive bottom, as they have the larger penises. They try to fuck me, and I have to give way. I definelty feel that dick size does matter in determining TOP or bottom."
"I have encountered many guys who like to brag about being tops, and to my surprize, those are the one who render the ass first. It is usually the quiet ones who usually surprize you with being a top. Top or bottom is such a sensitive issue in the gay community. Not so many like to admit that they like to bottom."
"I'm 9" uncut and decently thick, and I still prefer to bottom... It's all about the guys preferences really. I know quite a few guys who pack similarly and still prefer to bottom."
"I just want to have a partner in life whom will love me for the rest of his life!"

**Feel free to give your two cents. Click on the blue comment link below to leave your comments/feedback.

Otters & Cubs & Bears Oh My!

The gay culture always seems as if they need to classify every type of male there is. From Twinks to Daddies there seems to be a category for almost every gay or bi man. One could almost ask "Why can't we just be men who are attracted to other men? Why do we have to be labeled?" But even the so called 'normal' people have to label and define absolutely everything. That's just the way it is. Labels are for soup cans not for people, but still the gay community has to define an individual or action. I think it's our effort to be more like the 'normal' people since that's what they do. One gay subculture that has a popular following and perhaps the most recognizable within the gay lifestyle is Bears.

Kevin and I ventured out to Rainbow Mountain Resort this past Saturday. As we road up the mountain in my car Kevin said, "Wow it is cooler up here. It must be because we are closer to the moon." I just looked at him and laughed hysterically. There was no words that could form to express the duhness I just heard. At last we arrived and It just so happened to be 'Bears And Chub Weekend.' The land of the hairy and chubby. This was bound to be an interesting experience considering I don't fit into the 'Bear' lifestyle and I'm not chubby, but I decided to humor it. Hey I'll try anything once and some hairy men are sexy!

So what is a Bear anyways? This isn't like Yogi and Boo Boo stealing pic-a-nic baskets. A gay Bear is looking for another type of basket. A Bear is actually a LGBT slang term. It refers to men that are homosexual and bisexual and it describes their physical body or hair appearance. Bears have hairy bodies and usually have facial hair. Most times they are heavy-set or muscular. They exude a rugged masculine aura with their grooming and behavior. Bears have this hypermasculine persona and usually only associate themselves with like minded (or guys that have the same appearance) individuals. They are the manly men of our gay world and for some are viewed as hairy gay gods. The fur lovers love to worship them. It's a fetish.

As the gay Bear community has become increasingly popular there was need for it to be subdivided into degree of hairiness or manliness. So the need for different slang terms erupted like hard a cock. Here's some of the Bear terms and related terminology.

Bears- Typically used to described heavier set overly hairy men. They often could have very large muscle body mass and may be muscular (Musclebears) or stockier (Chubbybears) in stature. Some bears have a leather or latex fetish and call themselves Leatherbears. The term bear is used to describe a hairy masculine dominant (top) male figure within a gay relationship as well.

Cub - A Cub of course is a younger (or appearance of being younger looking) version of a Bear. Usually where you find a Bear a Cub is not far behind. They usually have a smaller frame and tend to not be as big as their Bear counterpart or as aggressive. The Cub can be just as hairy as a Bear, but sometimes not hairy at all! The term Cub is used to imply the passive partner (Bottom) of a gay relationship with a Bear.

Otter- An Otter is typically a younger man, but could actually be a guy of any age who is hairy and fits the body type. Otters are not large and usually thinner. They could have a very lean build or no muscle tone at all. An Otter could actually be as hairy as a bear. The best way to describe an Otter is if you took a skinny Twink, covered him in honey, and made him roll around on the floor of a barbershop! Kevin is actually an Otter. He is a fury little beast.

Daddybear - Older Bear. This kind of Bear is looking for a daddy/son role play type relationship. They usually want this relationship with a much younger man either Cub or Twink. Daddybears are very dominant and like to ordain themselves in leather and fetish clothing.

Wolf - A Wolf is a term for a Musclebear. If Andy let all his hair grow out instead of manscaping he could be considered a Bear or a Wolf. His muscular frame is too big to be called an Otter or a Cub. I've also heard this term as reference to an older muscular Bear who is an outdoorsy or biker type.

  Polar Bear - This isn't your Coca~Cola lovable polar bear, but maybe if you're lucky his cock is as thick as a Coke can! Polar Bears are older Bears that have silver or white hair all over. They are the Silver Foxes of the Bear community.

Panda Bear - "Me fury and love you long time. Me sucky sucky on your bamboo sprout. I love cum of sum yung hung gui!" Panda Bears of course are hairy Asian men.

Bear Run - Is a gathering or circuit party for Bear types and their admirers. More gay men are identifying themselves as Bears now so more gay bars have become Bear-friendly. Some bars cater specifically to Bear patrons such as leather or western-style bars and usually have specialized events for them.

Chaser - Is usually short for "chubby chaser," which is a man whom likes overweight men and pursues them. A Chaser can also be used to describe a bear admirer since some Bears tend to be bigger or "chubbier" in size. They are also known as "Trappers" as in "bear trap." Trappers are guys attracted to and pursue Bears or other woodland creatures mentioned.

Chub – A Chub is a heavy set gay man. Usually very stocky or quite large. He may or may not be a Bear. Most times where you find Bears you find Chubs. A lot of events for Bears are also for Chubs as well.
Goldilocks - Is a Bear's Fag Hag. She is often heterosexual, who loves to frolic with her fury friends. "Who's been eating my porridge and eaten it all up?" cried Baby Bear. It's that bitch Goldilocks!

Grizzly Adams - Has two meanings he is a man who is hairy and is attracted to Bears, but doesn't feel he actually is a Bear, or any other subdivision. He could also be a straight hairy man that loves to hang out with Bears. He could be considered the Bear's Fag Stag.

Woof - Being "woofed" at is a compliment. It's a greeting used to express physical attraction towards someone you find sexy. I remember the first time Andy was "woofed" at he ask me "Boo why they making that dog noise at me? Are they calling me a dog? They think I'm ugly?" I laughed at him and when I told him what it meant all he did was smile and turn red.

Otters and Cubs and Bears oh my! I should have brought my ruby slippers "There's no place like the mall, there's no place like the mall, there's no place like the mall." That's exactly what I was thinking as Kevin and I were sitting at the bar watching a Bear walk around in his jockstrap. He wasn't hot. The crowd at Rainbow Mountain was very mixed. Some Bears, Cubs, Otters, Chubs, Twinks, and some regular mo's. There was a few guys I have no idea where they would fit in. Guys with long beards like ZZ Top and a Willie Nelson look-a-like! They were offering a free drink if you showed your fur so some Bears were shirtless and probably shouldn't have been! BUT at least they had the confidence to put it out there and besides it still looked like they were wearing a sweater vest anyways.

  When I went to the bathroom a Bear tried to pick Kevin up. He casually bumped into him to make it look like an accident. (yeah right!) He knew exactly what he was doing. He waited to approach Kevin till I was in the Bathroom. When I came back we chatted with him for a bit, he was obviously drunk and a little cute till he turned around and we realized he was wearing a dead wookiee on his back! You could have combed his body hair. Upon further observation we realized he kind of resembled our ex-boss it was rather weird.

While Kevin and I were playing forest ranger Bobby was in Philly with some other friends. He didn't run into any Bears but he did find a Chipmunk trying to get his nuts. He called me at 4 am to tell me that his squeaky enemy (see post The Deal Breakers) ended up being in the city as well and pulled a surprise attack on him. 

The Chipmunk made out with Bobby. He totally grabbed him and planted one right on him. Bobby said "You know I kinda liked it!" You know what they say Bobby is essentially the little girl in kindergarten and Chip is the bully that pulled on his pigtails, but secretly likes him. So the Chipmunk's bitchy behavior towards Bobby could be his way of saying "I wanna play with your nuts." Bobby said after the short make out session Chip scurried off somewhere. I suggest Bobby gets a rabies shot and some rodent poison.

  Kevin and I had fun with the woodland creatures, but I did not find my Winnie The Pooh Bear. I have his honey in my pot and I'm still waiting. So what's my body hair preference? Well I like alittle something to play with as long as it's in check. Well maintained body hair is sexy, but back hair and unruly body hair is not. A little manscaping never hurt anyone. I don't want any hairballs stuck in my throat. It's nice to snuggle up to your man and play with his chest hair. It just sucks when you get cum in it.

Cinderfella

As I swept my front porch I began to hum a Cinderella song. You know the one, "Cinderelly, Cinderelly! Night and day it's Cinderelly! Make the fire, fix the breakfast, wash the dishes, do the mopping and the sweeping and the dusting. They always keep her hopping. She goes around in circles till she's very, very dizzy.

Still they holler! Keep a-busy Cinderelly!" I thought to myself wow in my financial situation and in this recession wouldn't it be great to be a Houseboy? I'm sure depending on the arrangement though the situation wouldn't be like the story of Cinderella. Instead of riding in a pumpkin carriage, there would be a riding of your pumpkin, instead of talking mice, there be anal gerbils (well maybe) The Fairy Godmother of course would be Cher, the glass slippers would be a glass dildo. (Oops it just fell out of my ass and broke!) and instead of Prince Charming, there would be a horny older guy wanting to put you in a sling as he slammed you with his scepter! I guess depending on who you are that could be your "Fairy"tale. The glass dildo sounds like fun!

I once saw a gay porn based on the Cinderella Fairytale, it was called Billy's Tale. Instead of evil stepsisters he had evil horny stepbrothers that had an incest relationship with each other. Prince Charming was a wealthy endowed silver fox that saved Billy from a life of being a cumdumpster to his stepbrothers. You know it was very similar to the Disney version it was uncanny!

Depending on what I may be asked to do I think I'd be perfect for the role of a houseboy. Looking back at pervious relationships and even friendships I do have that caregiver type gene. I used to clean, cook, and do my exes laundry for them. Some of my exes where slobs too! It was like an episode of Hoarders, but with empty lube bottles and peanuts on the floor! I can't stand a mess! I'm not a neat freak, but I don't like crap all over the place. When I'm in a relationship with someone I do feel the need to take care of them in a housewife type way. I'd be the type to make my hunny a sandwich and S his D after he had a long day at work. I know right, why on earth am I single?

So what exactly is a Houseboy anyways? And what exactly does he do? A Houseboy is typically a male servant or assistant who performs domestic or personal chores. A male housecleaner or housekeeper.

The term "Houseboy" originated around World War II. It was used to describe a native boy who helped a soldier perform basic responsibilities like cleaning, laundry, ironing, shoe-shining, running errands, and the like. I wonder if sexual favors happened back then? Knowing how men are I'm sure some performed "don't ask, don't tell favors. The Houseboy was employed by the soldier to reduce the heavy workload and to cut corners on a large amount of work.

  In the gay community things are alittle different (because we are all dirty homos) a "Houseboy" is typically a younger gay male. The employer or Host is an older, usually wealthier gay man. He typically is more "well-off" than the Houseboy. There may or may not be a romantic/physical relationship. The Houseboy could be simply employed to help out around the house and maybe provide the host with a little eye candy and friendship but nothing more. Like a Poolboy that walks around in a banana-hammock and cleans the pool and uses any excuse to bend over while the Host watches.Usually older gay gentlemen prefer the company of younger gay guys even if there is no sexual advances involved.

For gay males that enjoy S&M, a Houseboy performs domestic chores in exchange for sexual rewards like bondage and ball-gags! Whips and chains excite them! I couldn't imagine knocking on someones door and having a Houseboy answer wearing a leather onesie!

  In the event there could be a possible romantic situation between them (not always purely sexual) the host most likely would be called a "Sugar Daddy." I wonder what goes through very young gay boys minds when they meet a Sugar Daddy that is willing to take care of them. Like does he think, "Wow this is fucking great! I'm totally gonna marry this tombstone!" Anna Nicole would be proud! Just make sure you are in the will. And just remember if he is really, really old and begs you to sit on his face it's probably not the best idea. Can you just picture the death report: Death by anus smothering!

In the instance the relationship is purely nonsexual and nonromantic. The host could offer support, guidance and mentorship to the younger boy. It's kinda like the Big Brother Program but with vacuums and feather dusters. In this nonsexual arrangement both houseboy and host have their own relationships outside of the home, but the Houseboy may do chores and favors for guidance and support. The Host enjoys the company of the Houseboy. Sometimes this arrangement involves money and sometimes it doesn't.

Lastly the Houseboy is just simply employed by the Host and nothing more and the Host is just simply viewed as a boss. It's considered an actual job and it's just like any normal boss and employee relationship.
Bobby's opinion on the whole Houseboy thing, "This is reality for some people. I would say its a very symbiotic relationship. The little Houseboy makes out with being taken care of and the older guy (whether he is a Daddy or not) gets to basically bang the Houseboy whenever he wants. (If it's that kind of arrangement.) The one who makes out better in my opinion is the Houseboy just because they can hitch a ride (no pun intended) on the money train until they are out of school or find a job or a better Daddy to jump on to. It's not a healthy relationship for sure, but hey, is that anything new in the gay world?"

In my gay little world I've actually seen all the types of Houseboys mentioned above. My one friend has a side job cleaning other friend's houses. It's strictly professional. There is no "funny business" going on. He gets paid to clean, organize and run errands that's it. I have an older friend whom I guess could fall into the Sugar Daddy category. I have seen him change Houseboys like someone would change their underwear. Not long go he had a twenty something twink, who also advertised on Grindr that he would do sexual things for money. The twink used to do certain things around his house. I know their relationship was strictly sexual there was no romantic interest on either side. I'm not sure on the payments but I do know my older friend used to pay the Houseboy's bills. He even bought him a new cell phone and in return I'm sure this Housewhore gave him something only a prescription could get rid of.

I've seen the mentoring aspect of the Houseboy a few times as well. One relationship for example; Daddylicious and Ken. He doesn't pay Ken, but I do know Ken helps him out around the house sometimes and in return Daddylicious hooks him up with special perks. Perks like free stays at the beach house, free trips, free drinks, free stuff! Does Daddylicious hope for more, like a physical and a romantic relationship? Probably, that's most likely why he does all those things for Ken. Does Ken realize that Daddylicious probably has feelings for him? Most definitely! Ken isn't stupid he knows what he is doing. In any case as of right now Ken gets what he wants and Daddylicious gets the company of a younger attractive guy which is what he wants.

So would I actually want to be a Houseboy? To be honest I wouldn't mind getting paid to clean, cook and run errands. I'll even wear cute little outfits and gladly clean the pool or hot tub as long as I can use them. Seriously if interested give me a holla cause this little ginger needs to buy new short shorts. I could use the extra cash. In terms of the whole sexual favors included in the housework, I wouldn't be into that. That is practically being a male prostitute! This isn't the movie Pretty Woman, good things don't happen to prostitutes. Richard Gere isn't gonna pound my ass and then offer me all my dreams. Things don't work out that way. Everything has a price. I would however mop floors and then slop on my boyfriends peen if had one, I'd do that for free, no payment required...well ok shiny gifts would be appreciated.

You Wanna Do It Here? (Public Sex)

Jules: "Would you ever bang a guy in the bathroom?"
Sven: "If I did, it wouldn't be someone that I needed to get a rabies shot for!"

It is estimated that at any given time there's at least 5,000 people in the world having sex. The most common place for adults to have sex is in the bedroom or somewhere else in their home. "On the bed, on the floor, on the towel, by the door, in the tub, in the car, up against the mini-bar!" The second most common place is actually in their car. Having sex with the light on is great just make sure the car door is shut. Public sex is a lot more common then people think. Straight couples have had sex in public places obviously, but it's more common among gay men, bi-sexual men and closeted men. (They feel that it's their only option.) Some reasons for public sex are; fetishes, people get turned on by the thought of getting caught, it's adventurous! They have no other choice, you live with someone or you aren't out yet. Str8 men or bi men meet for anonymous sex. And then there's that possibility that they are just a sausage swallowing, tubesteak loving, cum guzzling slut!

In the gay world you are bound to run into public sex. Fooling around in gay bar's bathrooms is almost a rite of passage. (back door passage) There's of course the Gay Church aka The Gym where sexual acts have um gone down and there's even bathhouses that cater to gay sex acts where men can get a facial so to speak. Even gay porn is cashing in on public sex. There's a few gay porn sites that feature men having sex at movie theaters, restroom, and even stores! Now I'm not 100% sure if these are really real or just an act. I know acting in porn vids, that's a new one! I did have to watch some videos (We'll call that 'Research') and in some of the videos they do get caught doing the deed.

Now some of my friends on the other hand, well let's just say they are a tad bit more adventurous or um sluttier than I. I've heard stories about them having sex behind a Red Robin restaurant, parks, public bathrooms, on a picnic table at the beach, porta potty's at pride events, on the bus (I have a friend that commutes to New York for work.) and some even had sex at work. Bobby said, "Yeah I've done stuff in the parking lot at my old job. It was a right of passage with the employees that worked there! Haha!"

I have never had actual sex in public (Cock to an orifice) but I have had extremely naughty dry humping, fondling, panty wetting kind of making out in public. You know the kind where you are both so hard that you're walking like a penguin. Let's just say that involved us leaving quickly and going home. (Pound, pound, pound, pound, pound!!) I did give my boyfriend of the time a handjob in my car. It was behind a shopping parking lot while we were waiting for another friend. I'm glad I had Armor All Wipes in my car cause he shot everywhere! I remember when we picked up my friend she said, "I love that new car smell!" I smell sex and Armor All, yeah! I guess I could count that as a form of public sex even though there was no penetration. It's funny I'm not usually one for PDA (Unless I'm with someone that makes me feel safe. Don't want to be chased with pitchforks!) and public sex is like PDA on steroids! I will admit there's a few guys I would totally ride till they are puffing out air, even if it was in public. Hey if they said yes I'll take it where I can get it.

Kevin has had a few public adventurers since I've known him. He's been on more laps than a napkin. One time he hooked up with this guy whom had a kid and they fooled around in the guy's car. Kevin had to ask the guy to put the child's carseat in the trunk so they could get it on. He told me he actually sat on a McDonalds Happy Meal Toy. Now for most people this would be a mood killer, but Kevin powered through. Last year when Kevin and I were in New Hope he fooled around with a semi straight married guy that was there with his wife. (I'm pretty sure they were swingers) They hooked up in the bathroom, the semi straighty blew him in the bathroom at this hotel we were hanging out at for the day. (It was a gay resort with a big pool we spent the day swimming. I hung out with Knockers.) I only lost track of Kevin for 10 minutes it was a get in, get off kind of thing. So why does Kevin like public sex? He had this to say, "Well for me public sex is exciting! There's nothing hotter than the thought of getting caught by someone! Especially in a parking lot behind Red Robin!! Chicken fingers and sex...yum!!!"

Saturday night Kevin and I were out at the bar. I was doing some research on the public sex topic and I asked a couple of friends if they have ever done it. My friend Allan told me he had many times and then continued to ask me when was the last time I actually had sex. (He knows I can be semi prude sometimes.) I told him it actually wasn't that long ago. He said, "Oh yeah when?" I told him when I was in Philly back in April ("I'm Naked Y'all!") He looked at me and said, "Oh with Knockers, right?" I said, "Um no with Edward!" Apparently the rumors about Knock and I are still going around. (Rumor Has It) Everyone thinks I'm riding him like a jockey. Perhaps I should call him Seabiscuit now. I suppose the rumor could be worse and if there has to be a sex rumor between Knock and I, I'm glad it's with him. He is totally a hottie after all. I told Knock that Bonnie Raitt's song 'Lets Giving Them Something To Talk About' keeps playing in my head. I asked Knockers if he has ever had sex in public before and he said, "No. I'm not really the outdoorsy type. I did join the mile-high club back in 2000 when the bathrooms were a little bigger. It was just the tip though." I'll be honest I would have let him play with my cockpit as well. Hmm I'm thinking maybe Knock and I need to take a vacation together. Haha. He said, "I prefer to have sex in a hotel suite." I agree with him, but I guess I'm not as picky cause after all I did lose my virginity in a Best Western.

Below is an interesting ABC News Article it reminds me of when George Michael was arrested for lewd acts in a public restroom.

When Men Cruise for Sex in Public Places, Police Take Notice, Some Gays Say It's Unfair While...

...many Americans may only be vaguely familiar with the idea of "cruising," there is a secret world of sex between men that exists in public places across the country.
The police officer who arrested Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis airport for allegedly looking to engage in gay sex wrote in his June report that he "recognized a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct."
Craig tapped his foot up and down and swiped his hand underneath the bathroom stall in which the undercover cop was sitting, according to the police report.
Those actions led to Craig's arrest by Detective Dave Karsnia and the senator's guilty plea to a disorderly conduct charge. Craig told reporters today that he did nothing inappropriate and said his guilty plea was a mistake.
Public places like men's restrooms, in airports and train stations, truck stops, university libraries and parks, have long been places where gay and bisexual men, particularly those in the closet, congregate in order to meet for anonymous sex.
Over time, people familiar with cruising told ABCNEWS.com, gay men began using a codified system of signals to indicate to others that they were interested in sex. In an effort to curb lewd acts in public — or as some gays argue, in an effort to persecute gay men — undercover police began sting operations in places known for sex soliciting and employed the same codes.
"Tapping of the foot is pretty standard for men who cruise in toilets," said Keith Griffith, owner of Cruisingforsex.com, a Web site on which visitors post locations popular with men looking for anonymous sex.
"They will usually go to the stall at the far end of the strip of toilets. They will see each other and usually decide to go someplace else. The vast majority have no interest in being seen. They may be meeting in public locations, but they will be as discreet as possible," Griffith said.
Cruising areas traditionally have been those parts of town "women and children are told to avoid," but through word of mouth, bathrooms at places like Wal-Mart or Home Depot can become cruising locales, he said.
Griffith said that officers involved in such stings tend to be young and that anecdotal posts on his site indicate the local arrest rates increase around the time of elections or when media attention focuses on the issue.
Because much of the signaling is itself benign behavior, some gay rights activists and lawyers have admonished police departments for arresting men who have done little more than tap their feet.
"Citizens have a right not to confront lewd activity in public places," said Steve Sanders, a lawyer and gay rights activist. "But if there is evidence that a sting is motivated by anti-gay animus, that may represent a more troubling issue."
At trial, Sanders said, police would have to prove that actions such as foot tapping were known signals for soliciting sex.
"What constitutes probable cause to arrest someone? If a case like this went to trial, police officers would have to produce evidence to say here is how we can say with certainty this is was really a lewd act," he said.
Craig pleaded guilty to the charges and therefore opted against a trial.
Today, Craig denied being gay and said he made a mistake by pleading guilty.
Police officers, for the most part, only investigate an area after members of the public have complained about it being used for sex, said Rich Gregson, executive director of the California Peace Officers Association.
"Police officers will investigate areas that have known histories of this sort of activity. They rely on their own knowledge and experience to tell what is happening. Most officers know the difference between an intentional signal and a stray motion," he said.
The public has a right to enter public areas without worrying about inadvertently seeing lewd acts, Gregson said. The 35-year veteran police chief said he believed this sort of activity took place "in every jurisdiction" and heard stories of "off-duty officers and even judges being caught and arrested."
With many other options available for gay men to meet each other, Gershen Kaufman, a professor emeritus of psychology at Michigan State University and author of the book "Coming Out of Shame," said public cruising is practiced mainly by deeply closeted men.
"Cruisers are not sex offenders. They are deeply, deeply closeted. There is a lot of self-hatred and shame and they can't allow themselves to come to terms with their sexuality. There is also the added element of danger and being discovered," he said.

Did you find that article helpful on picking up men in public restrooms? Who knew tapping on the ground with your foot is code for "wanna fuck?" The news is so educational! Hmm maybe I can convince Kevin to try this and I'll do a follow up post on his cruising for guys in bathrooms. I'll bribe him with chicken fingers. The only thing the article doesn't mention is that most public restrooms where cruising actually happens there are glory holes. What's a glory hole you ask? A glory hole is an opening cut into the partition between two stalls in a men's restroom, through which oral sex can be performed. (That awkward moment when I had to explain to my mom what a glory holes was.) Chances are if you didn't know what a glory was you've probably seen one. Acts like this usually involve the closeted men that don't want to be seen like the article states.

Well I guess as long as there's horny adventurous men there will be sex in public. My only advice is becareful! Check your surroundings before you play poke me in the brown eye. Avoid places where there is children! That's just wrong! Use protection! The last thing you want is that adventurous romp to give you something you won't be able to get rid of! It's actually safe to keep a condom in your wallet for about a month before it becomes subject to breakage. I am not a promiscuous person in the lest but even I keep condoms in my fag bag cause you never know. AND lastly, try not to get arrested! (Try explaining that to a possible future employer.)

So inquiring dirty minds want to know your story! If you had a public sexual encounter please share it by clicking on the blue comment link below. Remember all comments can be left anonymously. Even I won't know who you are or how big of a dirty kinky freak you actually are.