June 23, 2011

Question: Rude Or Mature?

My bestie Mr. Bobby Bunny has a little dilemma. He was talking to this guy on Grindr and the guy seemed nice and wanted to meet him. Grindrguy and Bobby exchanged numbers and started texting back and forth. They even exchanged Facebook info. (which can mean the death of a possible connection sometimes.) Upon further observation Bobby realized that Grindrguy wasn't being honest about his age. He had told Bobby he was in his early 30's and the picture he had posted on Grindr did make him appear younger, but the pictures on his Facebook stated otherwise. He also told Bobby he was into sports and "kind of a jock." BUT again it didn't appear that way on Facebook. The only balls he was picking up were the ones hanging down by his ankles. Bobby realized Grindrguy wasn't necessarily being truthful. It appears like he created this false illusion. He actually was 38 which is not in your "early 30's."

Bobby texted me asking if I knew the Grindrguy because he saw on a picture on his Facebook that showed Kevin and I were at the same party as him. I did know exactly who Bobby was talking about. In fact after Kevin and I had met him he was trying to get Kevin to go out with him for weeks, but Kevin really wasn't feeling it. My personal observation; I didn't really care for him and found him a bit obsessive with the Twinks. I met him twice and I just felt like he was one of those older guys that basically just wants someone younger. He swears he wants a relationship but if that is true why are you going after guys 15 years younger than you are? Most guys in their early 20's don't want a relationship (some do, but most don't.) and most have their wild oats to sow yet! I know age is truly just a number but what would you have in common with someone that has an age gap like that? You can't just S his D forever, you'll have to eventually take it out of your mouth and talk.

After Bobby told Grindrguy "I feel the age difference may be a problem." Grindrguy then asked if Bobby wanted to cancel meeting him. Bobby said "14 years is kinda a lot and since I am looking to date it seems impractical to go out if I know I'm looking for someone closer to my age. If I just wanted some kind of hook up the age difference wouldn't be an issue, but I'm not looking for that at all and you said neither are you." Grindrguy then got a little pissy with Bobby. His inner drama queen came out. Even though Bobby tried to be polite about the whole thing, he still was viewed as the bad guy in Grindrguy's eyes.
Bobby, "I feel like it's less harmful to cancel now then go out waste each other's time and gas (the guy lives about an hour away) and what if he liked me? It would be worse when I say I don't wanna go out again. I didn't want to lead him by going out with him. I was trying to be mature, honest and polite but I still end up being the bad guy."

Question: Did Bobby do the right thing? Should he have humored the Grindrguy and gone out with him even though he wasn't interested? Was Bobby the bad guy or do you feel because Grindrguy misrepresented himself he was the bad guy? Perhaps he just wanted to go down Bobby Bunny's rabbit hole and perhaps Grindrguy is just being an...

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