Question: Is Monogamy A Bad Word?

Are we all relationship handicapped or are we just whores? Monogamy is a scary 8 letter word to some people. They treat it as if it's some type of STD that has been caught. Why is monogamy so elusive in today's gay society? We are fighting every day for equal rights and we are fighting for our right to marry, but what's the point if we aren't faithful to one another?

Monogamy isn't just a gay issue it's a people issue. The straight society between all the divorces and affairs, has a hard time grasping this monogamous concept. But it just seems as if gay relationships have a standard rule; thou can covet another's ass. Out of all the gay couples I know there's only a handful that are 100% monogamous. Why is this so accepting among gay men? Lack of blood to the brain due to increase stiffness in lower regions?? See, the problem is we were given a brain and a penis. There's only enough blood to run one at a time. Show us a hot guy and you can pretty much assume which one we will be thinking with. Most people stray or want open relationships because they're paying more attention to what they're missing, rather than what they already have.
Every relationship should have their own set of rules. What works for one couple may not work for another. To each their own, but can all the open relationships, playing around with another guy together, and hidden hook ups behind the K-mart really work? If you are so happy with your partner then why do you have to invite every Tom, Dick, and hairy Jose into your bedroom?
Question: Do you think monogamy will become extinct in the future? With all the gay marriages and now with more states getting onboard with gay marriage, will more gay couples be monogamous? What are your thoughts on monogamy? Click on the blue comment link below to leave a comment.

Results of poll: Are You In A Monogamous Relationship?

-19% said yes they are in a very happy monogamous relationship.
-9% said they are in a monogamous relationship but would be open to explore others sexually with their partners.
-61% said they are not in a monogamous relationship but hope someday that they will be.
-4% said that monogamy is not for them and that they feel it's something that the straight society wants us to conform too.

Question: Who's Your TV Character Crush?

They step into your living-room or in some cases your bedroom every week. Your heart beats a little faster and the feeling of excitement overwhelms your whole body. Perhaps you sport a little chub and fantasize what it might be like to be your with infatuation. Of course I am referring to your TV character crush. It's common for people to develop crushes on characters they see on TV. For most people these character embody what our perfect mate would be from appearance to personality. I know it's a bit delusional. After all most TV characters are actually nothing like the actors that portray them. That's why they call it acting. But for some of us there's still that glimmer of hope that maybe our future lover will somehow resemble traits of our character crush. I asked some of my friends who their TV crushes were and this is what I found:

Bobby said, “Why am I unhealthily in love with Blaine Anderson? Well, from the very first time I saw the character of Blaine Anderson (played by Darren Criss) make his debut on Glee I was immediately crushing hardcore. He is literally my perfect man. He is cute and sexy, but its much more than that.  I think his personality is so adorable.

I have always had a soft spot for the "nice guy", maybe because I consider myself a nice guy as well. When he sings anything on that show its so full of life and passion. I don't want to offend the gay community but come on lets be honest, some of us lack a certain compassion or kindness towards others within our own community. I think why I love Blaine so much is because he isn't what I have seen to be "the typical gay man". He isn't sex driven, overly sarcastic to the point of rudeness or walking around like he is above everyone else.

I also thought the way Glee handled the idea of intimacy of Blaine and his on screen boyfriend Kurt Hummel was impressive. They took their time in their relationship. They went many episodes as just being friends before even a kiss occurred. Then very recently they tackled the notion of taking things to the sexual level and it was done in a very respectable way. Was it a touch unrealistic? Perhaps. But I think anything that might encourage gay youth to not be so obsessed with getting it on with whoever they want, whenever they want, is a great thing.

My crush only grew for him when I saw interviews with the actual Darren Criss and although he isn't actually gay, he is incredibly adorable when he is talking about any old topic. If you aren't sure just how ridiculously cute he is, watch the Rolling Stone interview with him on YouTube where he answers all the questions musically. You will melt.”

I can certainly see why Bobby has a crush on Blaine. I believe the writers and creators of Glee knew exactly what they were doing when they created the character and casted Darren. Blaine is the ideal gay man. He is the type of guy we all want as a boyfriend. His character was created to be lovable and to be loved by everyone whether gay or straight. He doesn't fit any stereotype. A pretty pink purse doesn't slap you in the face when he talks. There's no top, bottom, vers, masculine, fem shit. His character is just a guy who happens to like guys.

Darren Criss is arguably one of the "biggest stars" from the Glee ensemble. Sorry, Lea, but he has a penis so we are inclined to love him more. Here are some pictures of the behind the scenes footage of People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive Shoot. I sent one of the pictures to Bobby and his response, “He looks like Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid!” Yeah there's no hope for him. He has it bad!

On Friday nights I find myself flipping through the channels but always stopping at CW's Supernatural. Dean and Sam Winchester always got my attention because duh, they both are smoking hot! But it was Dean (played by Jensen Ackles) that made me wanna hump my TV.

Kevin revealed that Dean Winchester is his TV crush and had this to say about him. “To me Dean has the perfect build for a man! He isn't too tall, I think he's my height or shorter (5'11ish). He has a nice slim, but yummy toned body! I love his character! He is like a hot male Buffy with a penis! I've Also seen Jensen in interviews, he seems funny, and sweet. Very approachable. Plus it helps that his face is to die for!”

I love the character of Dean Winchester because he is so manly. That deep voice, intense look and authoritative manner just does me in. Don't get me wrong both Dean and Sam (played by Jared Padalecki) are deliciously hot! But Dean just tickles my ginger more. Supernatural is on a Friday night. Who stays home and watches TV on Friday, right? There's a reason it's so popular and has lasted as long as it has. It isn't because of the writing. (Although some of the stories are fun.) It's cause of the hot guys. Just look how long Baywatch was on the air! Is it really wrong of me I wish some kind of incest relationship would occur between Dean and Sam? Maybe I watch too much porn, but it would be so hot. It's not like they are really brothers in real life. You've thought about it too!!!

My friend George had a list of crushes that ranged from the popular girl next door to a pop star/hunky actor icon! “When I was a kid my crush was Marcia Brady from The Brady Bunch.  Don’t know why, she just was. I didn’t know any better!”

Looks like even then it was Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Thank god George grew out of that!

“My first boy crush was Michael Vaughn. He was a character on the TV show Alias (played by Michael Vartan). Vartan was also in the films Never Been Kissed, and Monster In Law. I really fell for him in Never Been Kissed, because he played a teacher, and I have a thing for teachers. He’s not overly buff, very low key, and that really is what attracts me to him. Oh, and that killer smile too.”

I think we all were Hot For Teacher with Michael's character on Never Been Kissed. I agree it is that killer smile. Hello dimples! It was fun to watch the action side of him on Alias. Who wouldn't want to be rescued by him?

“I also had a thing for Tom Welling, who played Clark Kent in Smallville. He’s very muscular, but the low key, quiet kind. And he played a rural teenager who grew up on a farm, and I like the rural farmer boy type. Again, killer smile goes a long way too.”

Oh, Tom Welling how we all love that cornfed built country boy with baby blue eyes. Although he never really donned the traditional Superman attire, the writers of the show still managed to show off his super body! And with that Tom actually became our kryptonite.

“And then there’s Justin Timberlake….enough said!!! Hot, buff, singer, very outgoing and flambuoyant, and has a nice cock too! Those v-shape penis muscles make me melt!!”

When I asked George how he knew Justin had a nice cock he sent me a pic. I ALMOST didn't have the heart to tell him that the pic is completely fake. When I told him he said, “It's still hot.” If it was real I'm pretty sure it would look like anyways. I remember seeing Justin in concert when he was with *NSYNC and he leather pants were so tight you could tell the way he dressed it. Which was to the right by the way. Justin is the complete package. He is cute, built nice and so funny! I love him on Saturday Night Live.

I totally agree with all the TV characters mentioned above. They are major bone worthy. So what TV characters top my list? Well every single Thursday night I swoon like a thirteen year old girl looking at a Tiger Beat Magazine when Stefan Salvatore appears on my TV! The Vampire Diaries currently has to be my favorite show. I have always been a fan of vampire TV shows (Hello, Buffy!) and movies. Who wouldn't like to be adored and loved by a vampire forever with the dangerous possibility of them eating you? The entire male cast of The Vampire Diaries are hot, cum glutters and fangs. Call me a fang banger if you want. It's a guilty pleasure for sure.

Hawaii Five-O has come a long way since I was a kid. I now refer to it as Hawaii Five-Ohhhhh and it's all thanks to the new Steve McGarrett character. (played by Alex O'Loughlin) I love Alex! I was a fan of his since Moonlight (again another vampire show. I love my stiffs.) For me he embodies my perfect man. He has that tough I can do anything and that I'm going to fuck you all night long kind of intense stare! He is manly with a low key emotional side that only comes out when needed. A good guy with a touch of bad. AND let's not forget that insane body! Steve McGarrett is all American, but Alex is actually Australian with a cute accent. We can add ten points to his hotness scale just for being Australian. He'd make anyone wet down under.

Having a TV character crush is healthy. They are really carbon copies of what we want our perfect lover to be. No one is perfect but these characters kind of give you a starting point and a little fun fantasy never hurt anyone. It's all fun and games till you erect an altar in their honor and worship them like a god... If you're doing that I wouldn't tell anyone. *Blows out candles* “Shh!”

•Question: Who is your TV character crush and why? Click on the comment link below to leave your answers.

            

Question: What Are You Going To Be For Halloween?

He tugged on the leash like a poor animal tugging on it's tether with no place to go. Perhaps the collar I placed around his neck was too tight. Oh well. In the deepest voice I could possibly muster, I yanked on the restraint hard and yelled, “Come here, Meat!” Richard followed me as I held onto his leash and guided him through the crowd of costumes. Ghouls, ghosts, gangsters and a gang of underwear wearing, body painted superheroes filled the room. Out of all the things I have ever been on Halloween this was my absolute favorite. It was my idea to play up the whole slave and master leather look. Because it was so not my personality, I of course was the master, and my fiancé at the time, Richard was the slave.

I actually made my costume from a child's demon costume I found at K-mart. It was perfect. It was a stretchy black pleather shirt with fake chains going across the chest. Of course in gay standards it wasn't sexy enough so I made a few alterations. I cut the sleeves off and the inner lining out. It then looked like a leather vest with holes and that was connected by chains. The skimpy kinky vest was perfect I only hoped it wasn't going to be cold, because I would have no shirt on. I completed my look with a leather whip, handcuffs, and chains I used as a belt. For Richard's costume we again found something on the children's costume rack. Who knew kids costumes could be so dirty? We makeshift a pirate costume into the slave. I again had the task to "gay it up." I cut the sleeves off of the black pirate shirt and cut the collar so more of his chest would show. Because it was a child's costume the pants were ultra tight! They left nothing to the imagination. You could clearly see the vein in his penis. In fact when we were at the party and I accidentally brushed my booty up against his package he started to get a boner. Mission accomplished.

Our slave and master look was the hit of the party. Especially when I kept yanking on Richard's leash yelling, “Get over here Meat!” (it seemed the only time he ever listened to me was in bondage) and smacking his ass with the whip. When we got home we continued to play the slave and master roles. I remember sex being extremely fun that night. I kept my master costume (still have it) but Richard's pants got all ripped up somehow hmmm...

Halloween is like a gay holy holiday! It lets homos (and anyone) be someone or something else for the night. You can be as quirky or as sexy as you want to be. You can embrace your secret desire to dress in drag, or wear an outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination! Some may say that spandex is a privilege not a right. But so what if you're 100 pounds overweight, you wear that skin tight Richard Simmons leotard and pretend you're sweating to the 80's! There's no “Honey, What's going on here, what's happening, what is this?” judgement. Halloween is the only holiday you get a "free pass" for your fashion decisions.

Over the years I have been many different things for Halloween:
Hugh Hefner (with bunny slippers, a pipe and leopard print robe.)
Pimp (James dressed as a woman, he was my whore. Didn't look too bad either. I tried to grow chest hair for this costume, but it didn't work. Haha!!)
Slutty cowboy (complete with chaps and underwear that said, “Saddle up!” I remember it being freezing that night, so a friend had a fun task of warming up my buns.)
Bad kitty (My ex manager used to call me "bad kitty" so I went to work in costume. I was meowing and spitting.)
Devil (skin tight red paints and red body paint. I wore this when I go-go danced. Guys played with my tail.)
S&M Master (Chains, and whips, and handcuffs oh my.)
Dog Trainer (Kevin went as my dog and I told people I worked at "Bone Commander Training School For Your Little Dog" Kevin's name was Piddles. He wasn't housebroken yet.)

Every year I'm invited to at least 5 gay Halloween parties, but I usually can only make 2. It's really a popular holiday for us mo's. We love the creative, dressing up, sexy fun of it. Oh and of course most hosts go all out with booze, food and decor. Gotta have a little treat with your trick, right?

***Question: So what are you planning on being this year for Halloween? What was the craziest costume you ever wore? And do you prefer to make your own costume or buy it already made?

Please click on the blue comment link below to submit your answers.

Question: You're Gay & Amish?

Horse and buggy, quilts, plain clothes, homes without electricity, shoofly pie, churning butter, men with long beards but no mustaches, cornfed Pennsylvania Dutch speaking hot guys (ok maybe that one is a far stretch, but you never know.) and children with names like Amos and Fannie challenging each other to footraces, are a just a few things that come to my mind when I think of the Amish. With a population of over 249,000 there has to be Amish individuals whom are gay, right?

Being gay is hard enough, but when you add a very religious, confined structure to the mix it's downright impossible to be who you really are. If you are born gay and born Amish can the two coexist? So what would happen to the Amish gay individual if he stays in his community? He's shunned. They are made to feel like outcasts. Their friends and relatives cannot speak to them, touch them, or eat with them during meals. The Amish community's goal is to get the person shamed into repenting, or to make the guy feel so lonely he'll leave the community.

Perhaps the only way a young gay Amish adult can experience the gay life without being shunned is during rumspringa. Rumspringa is a religious rite-of-passage. It means in Pennsylvania Dutch "running wild". I just had a picture of Girls Gone Wild With Bonnets pop in my head, but I assume things don't get that crazy. Rumspringa, is a period of time when young Amish adults can sample the temptations normally banned within their religious communities. Some choose to return while others never go back and try to adapt to modern society.

Meet James Schwartz (born 2/19/78), a Michigan native who grew up in an Old Order Amish community.

James is a gay poet and the author of "The Literary Party: Growing Up Gay and Amish in America" (inGroup Press 2011). James tells his unique story through his poetry. It's raw, sexual, emotional and above all else it's very relatable. You can catch a glimmer of yourself in his words because everyone has felt "that way" at least once.Unbutton the shirt slowly
He might like that
The pants lie forgotten on his floor
I smell of the sea
I smell of showers
I smell of cologne
He might like that
Toothpaste and raspberry cocktails
Mingle in frantic kisses deep
Unbutton the shirt slowly
He likes that
Tonight
from The Literary Party: Growing Up Gay and Amish in America

"What does a 21st century poet do, but to take it off!" James said while submitting me this pic of himself. Can you sense his rebellious behavior?

Here's another poem by James Schwartz:Rivers
Lay his hands upon my hardworking own.
Kiss my painted lips with a warrior's rue.
Entangled tongues, restless lungs, gasp, groan.
As mystery of history dawns true.
I loved him at first stare and first silence.
As mere minutes later he took me down.
Killing, filling with the sweetest violence.
Feeling the music though there was no sound.
Glazed eyes gazed amazed at praised flesh and bone.
Worshipful raptures wrapped in regal hush.
Going before God of Ganymedes' throne.
The rush of lust in spring forests lie lush.
In conquered land by embrace and in haste.
Revealed reveries and rivers to taste

For more information on James Schwartz and more poetry visit:
literaryparty.blogspot.com/
jamesschwartz.towerofbabel.com/And you can follow James on Twitter at: Twitter.com/queeraspoetry

Question: What are your thoughts? What would you do if you were gay and Amish? Would you leave your family and friends to live the "gay life" openly? Or would you abide by the rules of the church and conceal who you are from your Amish community just to stay? I feel either way it's an extremely hard decision.
Please click on the blue comment link below to post your opinions.

Question: How Much Is Too Much?

All over the Internet there has been this article about this 16 year old male that died from excessive masturbation. Some believe it to be true and others are saying it's a hoax. Some say he "beat himself to death!" If it's true I really feel sorry for him, he didn't even reach the prime of his life and obviously needed serious help. Here's some of the story. I wasn't able to find the original story from the Brazil newspaper if you find it please EMAIL it to me.

"A 16-year-old boy died after masturbating 42 times without stopping in Rubiato town, in Goiás region, Brazil.
His mother told a local newspaper that she already knew about his addiction and that she planned to see the doctor, but the decision came too late.
The young man began to masturbate at midnight and spent the whole night compulsively touching himself.
At school, his classmates commented on the boy's problem and some said he asked them to connect to the webcam to observe his behavior.
They further said that his attraction to women was extreme; he was attracted to all kinds of women, regardless of color, physique and age.
In his room a great amount of pornography was found, including photographs, magazines and videos of nude women that were saved on his PC."






I'd say the help "came" too late! I guess that pun was intended. I'm not exactly sure how they reached the exact number of 42 times. It's not like his mother was in there watching him. Some stated his classmates were watching and that's how they knew and others said they used this formula below to give an estimation:Estimate 7 hours x 60 = 420 minutes
420/42 = 10 minutes/time
Someone joked, "They counted all the puddles of shame or all the tissues."


Now whether this story is true or false one must ask some basic questions like how was he able to maintain an erection? Some men are able to masturbate for hours and even have several orgasms, but 42? Is that even possible? Most men have to wait for what is called a "Refractory Period." It is the period of time in men immediately following ejaculation, during which further erection or orgasm is not possible. Sometimes this period lasts anywhere from 10-30 minutes depending on the person. Now I assume since he was only 16 his Refractory Period was probably only 10 minutes between each squirt, but after so many times I would think continuing would have been painful. What about chaffing? Talk about "rubbing yourself raw!" and after so long wouldn't you just start puffing out air?

If this story is true the 16 year old boy was a sex addict. Sexual addiction is a phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behavior and affects many people. Experts believe that sexual addiction is actually a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and refer to it as sexual compulsivity. Most likely they have other obsessive disorders as well.

  We've all heard that masturbation and sex is healthy, but exactly what could happen if you take it to the extreme?

Excessive sexual stimulation can cause acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions. This immoderate amount of stimulation can result in an over-production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters like acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin, causing a considerable change in body chemistry. Your body uses a lot of energy and testosterone to make semen. The side effects of these changes in body chemistry can manifest themselves as:
Fatigue
Hair loss
Memory loss
Blurred vision
Groin/testicular pain
Seminal leakage, otherwise described as the emission of sperm from the penis without an erection, is another common problem associated with extreme masturbation. This is a sign that the nerve keeping the ejaculation valve shut is weakening because of excessive use and over-stimulation. Like I said "rubbing it raw!"
Because over-masturbation distresses liver and nervous system functions, it can also lead to sexual exhaustion (even in younger males). The 16 year old could have actually died from distress on his liver and fatigue. It's most likely he didn't just start with 42 times. From the article above it looks like he had been engaging in excessive masturbation for quite some time. All these problems could have built up until his last marathon finally sent him over the edge.

Sex addiction such as this not only creates physical problems, but may get in the way of your work and family life the same way any other addictions (like alcohol or gambling) would. If you feel you have a sex addiction please seek professional help.


Question: Do you think the above article about the 16 year old could be true? And how much is too much? Where's the line between normal sexual activity and excessive sexual activity? What's your max number of how many times you polished your knob in a single day and would you consider yourself a sex addict?Please click on the blue comment link below to leave your answers.

For more information on masturbation see the post It's All About Spanking The Monkey and the post It's All About The Banana

Question: Is My City Slutty?

I read an article online on a gay website about America's sluttiest cities for gay men. The study was based on cities that had the most singles online that were looking for casual sex. It is said that 44% of adults have had a one-night stand and even more engage in casual sex. "If you're single, horny, and thinking about moving (or just a fun visit), you might want to consider Pittsburgh, Seattle, or Portland—and not because of American history, great coffee or indie music. According to a popular free online dating site open to straight, gay, and bi users, those are the top cities in the U.S. where people are seeking casual sex."

I was very surprised that the top ten promiscuous cities didn't include: Las Vegas, New York, Los Angeles, Fort Lauderdale and Atlanta. Atlanta, Georgia has one of the highest STD rates in the country! I guess more people there don't say they are looking for casual sex they must use the term "dating" and change partners like they do their underwear. STDs aren't Pokemon people, you're not supposed to catch em all.

One website "awarded the cities by the percentage of users who list 'Casual Sex' as one of the relationship types they seek (and then correlated that back to where said naughty user is from)."
The complete top ten list of the sluttiest cities in America (drum roll please!)
10. Houston, Texas- Everything is suppose to be bigger in Texas.
9. San Diego, California- Come see the zoo and then fuck like monkeys.
8. Denver, Colorado- This city is nicknamed "The Mile-High City" (about a mile above sea level) Maybe the higher elevation makes people hornier.
7. San Bernardino, California- Has anyone outside of California even heard of San Bernadino?
6. Dallas, Texas- Apparently "save a horse, ride a cowboy" is an activity Texans use since Texas is the second sluttiest state on this list.
5. San Francisco, California- This actually is no surprise with their huge gay population. Everyone is looking for that "San Francisco treat" or is it trick? California is on this list 3 times! Apparently it's the sluttiest of all states!
4. Miami, Florida- with those barely there swimsuits and those bodies I'd be shocked if this wasn't on the list! Tan cum gutters.
3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania- PA is actually my state. I am shocked to see Pittsburg on this list and number 3! I would have thought that Philadelphia would have beaten Pittsburg. I have been to Pittsburg a few times. In fact back in the day I went to my very first gay bar there called Pegasus. I got hit on a lot. Hmmm.
2. Seattle, Washington- I guess since it rains a lot the only thing left to do is get it on?
1. Portland, Oregon- I've heard the state of Oregon is very beautiful maybe the scenery is what puts people in the mood. They must greet people with handy-Js since this is number 1!

Question: The singles in these cities apparently are willing to help a guy in need! Now that you know which cities are the sluttiest where are you from? Would you ever visit any of the cities listed above? If you've been to the cities listed above what was your experience while you were there?
Click on the blue comment link to submit your answer.

Question: What Am I?

What has a 30 inch waist, weighs about 165 pounds, is about 6 feet tall, wears a size 11 shoe (hello!) has short brown hair, dark brown eyes, facial hair, deep voice, very little body hair, and an above average sized penis? If you guessed Derek your answer would be correct. Feel free to lust after him now call 1-900-Gay-Derek 69¢ a minute. (just kidding)

After discussing the post Otters, & Cubs, & Bears Oh My! with Derek he posed a good question. "If you're too old to be considered a Twink, too young to be considered a Daddy and aren't hairy enough to fall under the Bear categories, then what are you? Would you be considered just gay then? That's kind of boring."
The gay universe has many different types of gay men and these men are placed in different categories. We label everything from a man's physical appearance, such as Twink, Bear, etc. to a man's sexual preference such as Top, Bottom, etc. It is said in fashion "That the label is the best part." But are the labels we place on people valued the same? If this is the case then where's my man with the Armani label!? I love me some Italian!

In my early twenties I was always called a "Twink" because I was skinny and smooth. Now that I'm in my early thirties I still kind of look like a Twink, but don't want to be called one. The label of Twink suggests immaturity and inexperience. They represent the gay newbie. The fresh fagling. Honestly I can't stand Twinks. I avoid underage/kiddie nights at bars at all cost! Derek said we need to coin a new label for the in-between Twink and Daddy crowd. If we do that are we just adding fuel to the flamer? As I have stated before, "Why can't we just be men who are attracted to other men? Why do we need to have all these labels? Wouldn't it be best to just not use any of these labels? Labels are for soup cans not for people." The whole label thing could be viewed as just fun, (as it really should be) but people do take it to the extreme. Where's the limit? How far is too far?

  Question: If we came up with a label (just for fun) for the gay in-between crowd what would we call it? How do you feel about all the gay slang labels? Do you feel we need them or are they ridiculous? Do you think these labels put a stigma on the gay community?
Please submit your answer/feedback by clicking on the blue comment link below.

Question: Rude Or Mature?

My bestie Mr. Bobby Bunny has a little dilemma. He was talking to this guy on Grindr and the guy seemed nice and wanted to meet him. Grindrguy and Bobby exchanged numbers and started texting back and forth. They even exchanged Facebook info. (which can mean the death of a possible connection sometimes.) Upon further observation Bobby realized that Grindrguy wasn't being honest about his age. He had told Bobby he was in his early 30's and the picture he had posted on Grindr did make him appear younger, but the pictures on his Facebook stated otherwise. He also told Bobby he was into sports and "kind of a jock." BUT again it didn't appear that way on Facebook. The only balls he was picking up were the ones hanging down by his ankles. Bobby realized Grindrguy wasn't necessarily being truthful. It appears like he created this false illusion. He actually was 38 which is not in your "early 30's."

Bobby texted me asking if I knew the Grindrguy because he saw on a picture on his Facebook that showed Kevin and I were at the same party as him. I did know exactly who Bobby was talking about. In fact after Kevin and I had met him he was trying to get Kevin to go out with him for weeks, but Kevin really wasn't feeling it. My personal observation; I didn't really care for him and found him a bit obsessive with the Twinks. I met him twice and I just felt like he was one of those older guys that basically just wants someone younger. He swears he wants a relationship but if that is true why are you going after guys 15 years younger than you are? Most guys in their early 20's don't want a relationship (some do, but most don't.) and most have their wild oats to sow yet! I know age is truly just a number but what would you have in common with someone that has an age gap like that? You can't just S his D forever, you'll have to eventually take it out of your mouth and talk.

After Bobby told Grindrguy "I feel the age difference may be a problem." Grindrguy then asked if Bobby wanted to cancel meeting him. Bobby said "14 years is kinda a lot and since I am looking to date it seems impractical to go out if I know I'm looking for someone closer to my age. If I just wanted some kind of hook up the age difference wouldn't be an issue, but I'm not looking for that at all and you said neither are you." Grindrguy then got a little pissy with Bobby. His inner drama queen came out. Even though Bobby tried to be polite about the whole thing, he still was viewed as the bad guy in Grindrguy's eyes.
Bobby, "I feel like it's less harmful to cancel now then go out waste each other's time and gas (the guy lives about an hour away) and what if he liked me? It would be worse when I say I don't wanna go out again. I didn't want to lead him by going out with him. I was trying to be mature, honest and polite but I still end up being the bad guy."

Question: Did Bobby do the right thing? Should he have humored the Grindrguy and gone out with him even though he wasn't interested? Was Bobby the bad guy or do you feel because Grindrguy misrepresented himself he was the bad guy? Perhaps he just wanted to go down Bobby Bunny's rabbit hole and perhaps Grindrguy is just being an...



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Question: Can Long Distance Relationships Work?

Star crossed lovers, the long distance relationship. I've had a couple long distance relationships and they always start out great, but they fizzled out. It wasn't because we didn't care about each other, it just got more and more difficult and ultimately they weren't right for me anyways. I always seem to attract the guys from other states, other countries and sometimes it feels like another planet. (It's probing time!) I do like guys from other areas, the fantasy about being with someone far away is enticing. It's kind of like a fairytale or cheesy chick flick. I always feel like I'm over looked in my area, but as soon as I'm taken out of it I have better luck. I don't know why that is. I guess that's why I always attract these guys that live further away.

My question this week is; Do long distance relationships really work or does someone have to eventually move? In the gay world where it almost feels like promiscuousness is rewarded, it is really possible for a long distance thing to work or are they just doomed from the start?

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Question: Were We Born This Way?

I recently was flipping through the channels on TV and I came across the Dr. Drew show. His topic was about religious groups that gay people join to pretty much "pray the gay out of them." Dr. Drew had this one guy on whom joined a group to overcome his gay lifestyle. He said now he is 100% straight. This religious cult guy spoke as if being gay was a type disease or some sort of phase instead of a lifestyle. He made it sound like if you were committed to change and prayed hard enough you to could love the vagina. Sounds like denial to me!

My question this week is; Do you feel you were truly born this way? Do you think this type of "reform" is possible? And let's just say hypothetically, if being gay was a disease and scientists had a cure, would you take the magic pill that made you love pooter?
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Question: Are Paper Bags In Style?

Is it more important for your potential partner to have a gorgeous fit body with a "Butta Face?" OR a handsome face with a body that looks like he ate to much butter? Looks aren't everything, but everyone has to be attracted to the person they are with whether it's just a trick or a future husband. What if "Great Bod Guy" and "Great Face Guy" had the same type of personality would it make your decision change? So which one is most important to you? Is it more important for the guy to be built like a brick shit house, but has a face like Sherk? (This is what paper bags are for) Or for the guy to have a "Prince Charming" kind of face, but has so many spare tires you don't know if he coming or going? (Hello Jenny Craig!)
I know most people will say they want the guy with the handsome face and poorly shaped body, but what if the guy's body looked like the picture below? Oh and for you size queens out there we'll throw in he has a 9 incher as well.

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