October 30, 2011


People wear masks for many reasons not just for Halloween. Actual costumes can conceal ones identity and so can that invisible mask people wear. Some people never reveal who they truly are for fear of rejection. Masks can hide your feelings and keep those emotions hidden from onlookers. With everyone pretending to be someone else do we ever really know someone? If you never take off that mask and let someone in, you actually become what the mask represents. It is almost like we are trick or treating through our lives.
People you meet on the street, internet, and bars only show you a fragment of who they really are. It's only bits and pieces of what they want to show you. Everything else is kept hidden under their mask. I've dealt with fake people before. Fake co-workers whom say one thing to you and then get you fired (it actually happened), fake friends whom stab you in the back, and fake boyfriends whom lied, cheated and used you for their own amusement.

Just recently I discovered a Internet friend turned out to be completely fake. I know, shocker right? We chatted on a daily bases, but it turns out he was using someone else's pictures on his Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr! And by pictures I mean albums of them, not just two or three. We are talking hundreds! It totally looked all legit! What was he hiding? Why did he lie? Why was he pretending to be someone else? What mask was he wearing? I'll admit I was upset by this and now that he has been caught he completely fell off the grid. It's true what they say, you never really know anyone! That 20 year Twink with washboard abs, and hung like donkey kong, that you're talking to online, could really be a 45 year old with Dicky-Do Disease. You know, his tummy sticks out further than his "dicky do!"

Now onto physical masks... Kevin and I were invited to Lukas's Halloween party at his home which he refers to as "The Betty Ford Clinic." Kevin and I went dressed as The Little Red Riding Hood and The Wolf dressed as Grandma. I of course was Little Red being a ginger and all. I dressed as the slutty gay version of Little Red Riding Hood. My costume consisted of a long red velvet hooded cape, a tight t-shirt that read, "Too busy to fuck, (You know, cause I was on my way to Grandma's) and ass-less chaps. (I wore cute little red briefs) I carried a white basket. Bringing little treats to Grandma's like, condoms, packets of lube, and Hello Kitty gum. (Which I passed out to party goers while I mooned them.)

  Kevin was dressed as the wolf in Grandma's nightie. Being the hairy otter that he is all he did was wolf out his hair and he wore one of his mom's old pink nighties. The pink nightie was perfect and showed just the right amount of chest hair. We told everyone that he was the wolf dressed as Grandma after he ate her... out!

Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little gay ginger, the prettiest ginger who was ever seen. His Drag Mother was excessively fond of him; and his Grandmother doted on him still more. This good "woman" had a little red riding hood made for him along with cute red underwear. It suited the gay boy so extremely well that everybody called him Little Gay Red Riding Hood.
One day his Drag Mother, having gathered some condoms, said to him, "Go, my dear, and see how your Grandma is doing, for I hear she has strep throat from giving too much head to the woodcutters. Take her these condoms so her mouth gets a break and they fill another hole for once. Also bring her Hello Kitty gum and this little tub of lube."

As he was going through the wood, he met with a very hairy wolf, who had a very great mind to eat him out and hump his hole, but he dared not, because of some woodcutters working nearby in the forest. The wolf asked him where he was going. "I am going to see my Grandma and carry her a basketful of goodies so she doesn't get any STDs!
"Does she live far off?" said the wolf
"Oh I say," answered Little Gay Red Riding Hood; "it is beyond that Adult Book Store you see there, at the first house in the village."
"Well," said the wolf, "and I'll go and see her too. I'll go this way and go you that, and we shall see who will be there first."
The wolf ran as fast as he could, taking the shortest path, and the little gay boy took a roundabout way, entertaining himself by playing with his nuts, and shooting a load. It was not long before the wolf arrived at the old woman's house. He knocked at the door: tap, tap.
"Who's queer?"
"Your grandchild, Little Gay Red Riding Hood," replied the wolf, counterfeiting his gay voice; "who has brought you a basketful of goodies sent to you by my Drag Mother."
The naughty Grandmother, who was in bed, because she was somewhat worn out from a fuckfest, cried out, "Pull my bobbin, and my latch will go up."
The wolf pulled the bobbin, and the door opened, and then he immediately fell upon the good "woman" and ate her out in a moment with his long pointy tongue! The wolf put on the Grandmother's nightie. He hog tied her and put her in the closet. The wolf then shut the door and got into the Grandmother's bed, expecting Little Gay Red Riding Hood, who came some time afterwards and knocked at the door: tap, tap.
"Who's queer?"
Little Gay Red Riding Hood, hearing the big voice of the wolf, was at first afraid; but believing his Grandma had a strep throat and was hoarse from slobbing on knobs answered, "It is your grandchild Little Gay Red Riding Hood, who has brought you a basketful of goodies!
The wolf cried out to her, softening his voice as much as he could, "Pull on my bobbin, and my latch will go up."
Little Gay Red Riding Hood pulled the bobbin, and the door opened.
Little Gay Red Riding Hood took off his clothes and got into bed. He was greatly amazed to see how hairy his Grandmother looked in her nightclothes, and said to her,
"Grandma, what a hairy chest you have!"
"All the better to pet my dear."
"Grandma, what a hairy asshole you have!"
"All the better for you to rim my dear."
"Grandma, what a long tongue you have!"
"All the better to lick you with my dear."
"Grandma, what a nice dick you have!"
"All the better to pound and smack across YOUR FACE MY DEAR!"
And, saying these words, the wicked hairy wolf fell upon Little Gay Red Riding Hood, ate him all out and humped him doggystyle until all the lube was gone!

Ok, ok I know I'm a little crazy, but that's how the gay version of the story would go. The party was fab, cosmos on tap, and people dressed in all kinds of costumes. Lukas was dressed as a priest and his boyfriend (of only two weeks. Kevin hooked up with Lukas a couple of weeks before the party. He was single then!) was his altar boy. I almost felt as if I should kneel before him. Maybe that was what he intended with his costume. I said, "Excuse me Father for I have sinned. It has been two hours since my last confession." Lukas replied, "Say 3 Hail Marys, 2 Our Fathers and stop being a fucking whore!" I said, "Well I already did 2 Fathers while 3 Marys watched!" He said, "Congrats! You have secured your penthouse suite in hell! I will be across the hall."

The party brought familiar faces like Aaron, Lukas's houseboy. Yes he has an altar boy and a houseboy! Aaron dressed as he would when he cleans Lukas's house, short shorts and a very low sloop shirt. The last party I attended at Lukas's, Aaron got really drunk within a few hours and ended up showing everyone his penis. He still doesn't remember it. Kevin and I had a bet to see how long it would take this time. Apparently only the Grim Reaper may have gotten a glance. Aaron gave a guy dressed up as the Reaper a blow job in the bathroom. Looks like he got his stiff after all.

While Kevin and I made bad decisions, him more so than I, Bobby was at the Halloween Takeover event. He dressed up as a football player and let me tell you I wanted to play "touch" football after he sent Kevin and I a picture of his costume. His package looked huge. Like he was smuggling something in the skin tight football shorts. Bobby told us he was a "tight-end" but I prefer to say "wide receiver!" He said, "Omg it was the best Takeover I have ever been to! And in that little number I had on it was a night of high flirtation." In this case Bobby used his costume as a mask to hide his awkwardness. It must have felt kind of freeing to be someone else and receive some attention that he deserved. I'm glad he had a good time. Parts of Lukas's party are somewhat hazy. I had one to many cosmos and ended up passing out on Lukas's sofa. I awoke Sunday morning hungover, still fully dressed in costume, and wrapped up in my red hooded cape. My basketful of goodies nowhere to be seen. (I later found it on the kitchen counter with almost all the condoms gone.) I heard a noise coming from the basement, in any horror movie this is where I would die! Never investigate a noise because that's where the killer is waiting for you!

But it was just Lukas cleaning up the bar. He made me a Bloody Mary which took my hangover away. I looked around and noticed a girl sleeping on the sofa, and Kevin sleeping on the blow up bed with one of Lukas's friends. I had brought that blow up bed with us so Kevin and I could sleep on it! Kevin's little head peeked through the covers and he looked at me. I mouthed, "What happened?" and pointed my finger at him and the guy sleeping next to him. Kevin gestured with his hand and mouth that he had gotten a blow job. Pure class, I know. I mouthed back "Whore!" Looks like I need to fumigate that bed! He said he didn't get anything on it, but I am half tempted to take a blacklight to it. Later he told me nothing really happened because the guy couldn't get it up. He was on anti-depressants. Kevin said, "It really was depressing... for me!! I couldn't even get it in because that girl was sleeping on the sofa. He totally wanted to ride my dick too. This doesn't count!" I guess you can take the wolf out of the nightie, but you can't take the dog out of the boy! This is Kevin's slutty mask that he wears, but he only wears it sometimes. Lately it's been the whole month of October! He said, "I'm just glad October is over. I was way too slutty this month! It was just this month I'm DONE!" I guess he'll put that mask away for a little bit. So will feelings be shared instead of bodily fluids? Your guess is as good as mine.

  I wear a mask too. It's painfully obvious I use humor as a defense mechanism. There's pain and some anger behind the jokes. Whenever I'm upset about something I try to laugh it off. I keep a lot in and use witty banter to let some of it out. I need someone that I can let in without fear of being hurt. So who will finally unmask me? I'm waiting...