People you meet on the street, internet, and bars only show you a fragment of who they really are. It's only bits and pieces of what they want to show you. Everything else is kept hidden under their mask. I've dealt with fake people before. Fake co-workers whom say one thing to you and then get you fired (it actually happened), fake friends whom stab you in the back, and fake boyfriends whom lied, cheated and used you for their own amusement.
Just recently I discovered a Internet friend turned out to be completely fake. I know, shocker right? We chatted on a daily bases, but it turns out he was using someone else's pictures on his Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr! And by pictures I mean albums of them, not just two or three. We are talking hundreds! It totally looked all legit! What was he hiding? Why did he lie? Why was he pretending to be someone else? What mask was he wearing? I'll admit I was upset by this and now that he has been caught he completely fell off the grid. It's true what they say, you never really know anyone! That 20 year Twink with washboard abs, and hung like donkey kong, that you're talking to online, could really be a 45 year old with Dicky-Do Disease. You know, his tummy sticks out further than his "dicky do!"
Kevin was dressed as the wolf in Grandma's nightie. Being the hairy otter that he is all he did was wolf out his hair and he wore one of his mom's old pink nighties. The pink nightie was perfect and showed just the right amount of chest hair. We told everyone that he was the wolf dressed as Grandma after he ate her... out!
Once upon a time there lived in a certain village a little gay ginger, the prettiest ginger who was ever seen. His Drag Mother was excessively fond of him; and his Grandmother doted on him still more. This good "woman" had a little red riding hood made for him along with cute red underwear. It suited the gay boy so extremely well that everybody called him Little Gay Red Riding Hood.
One day his Drag Mother, having gathered some condoms, said to him, "Go, my dear, and see how your Grandma is doing, for I hear she has strep throat from giving too much head to the woodcutters. Take her these condoms so her mouth gets a break and they fill another hole for once. Also bring her Hello Kitty gum and this little tub of lube."
As he was going through the wood, he met with a very hairy wolf, who had a very great mind to eat him out and hump his hole, but he dared not, because of some woodcutters working nearby in the forest. The wolf asked him where he was going. "I am going to see my Grandma and carry her a basketful of goodies so she doesn't get any STDs!
"Does she live far off?" said the wolf
"Oh I say," answered Little Gay Red Riding Hood; "it is beyond that Adult Book Store you see there, at the first house in the village."
"Well," said the wolf, "and I'll go and see her too. I'll go this way and go you that, and we shall see who will be there first."
The wolf ran as fast as he could, taking the shortest path, and the little gay boy took a roundabout way, entertaining himself by playing with his nuts, and shooting a load. It was not long before the wolf arrived at the old woman's house. He knocked at the door: tap, tap.
"Your grandchild, Little Gay Red Riding Hood," replied the wolf, counterfeiting his gay voice; "who has brought you a basketful of goodies sent to you by my Drag Mother."
The naughty Grandmother, who was in bed, because she was somewhat worn out from a fuckfest, cried out, "Pull my bobbin, and my latch will go up."
The wolf pulled the bobbin, and the door opened, and then he immediately fell upon the good "woman" and ate her out in a moment with his long pointy tongue! The wolf put on the Grandmother's nightie. He hog tied her and put her in the closet. The wolf then shut the door and got into the Grandmother's bed, expecting Little Gay Red Riding Hood, who came some time afterwards and knocked at the door: tap, tap.
Little Gay Red Riding Hood, hearing the big voice of the wolf, was at first afraid; but believing his Grandma had a strep throat and was hoarse from slobbing on knobs answered, "It is your grandchild Little Gay Red Riding Hood, who has brought you a basketful of goodies!
The wolf cried out to her, softening his voice as much as he could, "Pull on my bobbin, and my latch will go up."
Little Gay Red Riding Hood pulled the bobbin, and the door opened.
Little Gay Red Riding Hood took off his clothes and got into bed. He was greatly amazed to see how hairy his Grandmother looked in her nightclothes, and said to her,
"Grandma, what a hairy chest you have!"
"All the better to pet my dear."
"Grandma, what a hairy asshole you have!"
"All the better for you to rim my dear."
"Grandma, what a long tongue you have!"
"All the better to lick you with my dear."
"Grandma, what a nice dick you have!"
"All the better to pound and smack across YOUR FACE MY DEAR!"
And, saying these words, the wicked hairy wolf fell upon Little Gay Red Riding Hood, ate him all out and humped him doggystyle until all the lube was gone!
Ok, ok I know I'm a little crazy, but that's how the gay version of the story would go. The party was fab, cosmos on tap, and people dressed in all kinds of costumes. Lukas was dressed as a priest and his boyfriend (of only two weeks. Kevin hooked up with Lukas a couple of weeks before the party. He was single then!) was his altar boy. I almost felt as if I should kneel before him. Maybe that was what he intended with his costume. I said, "Excuse me Father for I have sinned. It has been two hours since my last confession." Lukas replied, "Say 3 Hail Marys, 2 Our Fathers and stop being a fucking whore!" I said, "Well I already did 2 Fathers while 3 Marys watched!" He said, "Congrats! You have secured your penthouse suite in hell! I will be across the hall."
I wear a mask too. It's painfully obvious I use humor as a defense mechanism. There's pain and some anger behind the jokes. Whenever I'm upset about something I try to laugh it off. I keep a lot in and use witty banter to let some of it out. I need someone that I can let in without fear of being hurt. So who will finally unmask me? I'm waiting...