I use the term "gay dating sites" loosely because most gay men don't even know what real dating is! They use the term "dating" as a another word for hooking up and nothing more. With sites like Manhunt, Adam4Adam and Gay.com discreetly meeting men has become relatively easy. With smart phone apps like Grindr and Jack'd, technology has put gaydar right in your pocket.
•A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words
It's 2011 people if you don't have a picture in your profile, what's wrong with you!? Knockers says "Nothings annoys me more if they don't have a face pic or any pic for that matter!" If you're using a mobile app there's a freaking camera attached to your phone! Not having a picture is not an excuse anymore.
•I'm Just Looking For Friends, Wanna Fuck?
We've all seen this before. You ask someone what they are looking for exactly and they say, "just friends" and then they try to remove your underwear with their teeth. I don't know about you, but I don't play like that with my friends. A common phrase is "I don't just hookup." or "I really don't hook up." Many guys love to say they never hookup, some actually don't, but some by the end of the first date they are often doing just that with their legs up in the air and a smile on their face. Kile said he can't stand when profiles say "Looking for a long term relationships or friendships," Then sending a message like, "Let me suck your dick!" Be honest with what you are looking for. If you want friends, fine. If you're looking for a relationship, fine. If you're a slutty male escort with a huge cock, fine. If you wanna bump uglies behind Red Robin, fine. Just be honest on your profile and with yourself.
One of my Twitter followers stated, "I hate when guys just put what they're NOT looking for, and the list is really long. Judgemental much?!" Bobby feels the same way and adds, "When guys put no Fats/Fems" it annoys me because they are already starting out on a negative note, like they are better then these people! They are putting it right out there, and doing it in a derogatory manner. I also hate the "Be Masc" guess what boys? You're looking to have sex with/date/cuddle/kiss a guy, some people might not consider that overly masculine!" Bobby's right that's not really "straight acting" is it? When a gay guy tells me he is "straight acting" I always say, "so you suck dick and pretend to hate it? I never went to that acting school."
This pet peeve is so popular that it even fueled the creation of the site www.douchebagsofgrindr.com, where you can find "All your douchebag needs from the profiles of Grindr." The site features profiles of guys from Grindr being complete assholes. From guys being racists to arrogant they all are featured here.
I don't know which is more entertaining the profiles from Grindr itself or the comments people leave for the douchebags. Either way there is a lesson to be learned from this website. There's enough bigots out there. Why as an LGBT community must we behave this way amongst ourselves? Don't we receive enough hate from the world? You can say what you are looking for without being a douchebag.
•Age is Just A Number, Right?
If people say you look 23, but you're really 33, guess what honey you're not 23! Don't lie about your age. No one wants to be lied to. Just be honest. If the Twink thinks you are too old, then they are missing out on a great opportunity. It is totally their loss! If you're chasing after someone whom is extremely younger than you perhaps there are bigger issues at play here. Sometimes older men feel the need to lie about their age because:
1) They have a fear of getting older and want to remain that Peter Pan playing with his lost boys forever.
2) They feel that the younger gay men won't be into them ie "No old disgusting guys!" so they lie about their age to make themselves more appealing.
•Skanks, Sluts, And Whores
Gay dating sites can be very frustrating for those guys that truly want to meet someone worth wild. A Twitter follower states, "Gay men never seem to wanna settle, just hookup." I told him to hang in there and not everyone is like that, but I feel his pain. Most dating sites have become easier ways to find guys to hookup with. Like Bobby says, "Why do so many have that Pinocchio complex they all want no strings attached." For those of you that just want to use these sites for hooking up, that's fine. But don't be nasty to the ones that turn you down or continue to harass them after they have said no.
•I Have A Boyfriend
If you're in a monogamous loving relationship then why do you have a profile on a dating site? Unless you're in an open relationship or looking for a third to join in with you and your hunny, you shouldn't be on a gay dating site. I have seen and know for a fact that these sites create nothing but problems for so called happy couples! They can create drama where there doesn't need to be drama. Why are you going to risk your relationship just to chat with the jockboy who is hung like horse? I've seen relationships form because of gay dating sites, but I have also seen relationships destroyed because of them. These sites are suppose to mainly cater towards single men. I hate when they use the excuse that they are just looking for friends. If that's the case then I believe Facebook would be a better option for you. At least there you can't send dick pics back and forth to each other. So I urge you, if you are truly happy in your relationship delete all your dating site profiles. If your partner doesn't know about them, he will. If you don't think he won't find out about the conversations you've had or the activities you've done on the sites, he will. Either he will find out on his own or someone you've been talking too will tell him. Some people love to create problems for people in relationships don't give them the ammo.
So what do you do when you actually get that first date? Check out the post Dating Etiquette for more tips.