May 2, 2014

Queer Dirty Laundry Sample Chapter: Helpless

Britney Spears, one of Kevin’s favorite pop divas is rambling off some kind of luxury list of fancies bitches want. He turns the volume up on his stereo and he starts singing along with her, while hopping in his seat to the dance music. His car quickly becomes a VH1 Pop Diva’s Live Special.
“You wanna hot body? You wanna boo body? You wanna Maserati? You better work bitch!” he sings. After hearing him repeat the chorus a second time, I interrupt him.
“Um… Kev?”
“Are you saying, ‘You wanna boo body?’” I ask.
I start laughing. “You’re too cute. She’s saying ‘Bugatti’ not boo body!”
“What the heck is a Bugatti?” Kevin asks.
“It’s a car!” I laugh. “More importantly, what did you think a ‘boo body’ was?”
“A sexy hot as fuck piece of ass! I don’t know, some type of hot guy with perfect cum gutters and an edible poundable hole,” he confirms.
He continued singing, “boo body” until the song was over. I liked Kevin’s version better.

The sun is shining through my passenger side window. I reach into my bag or as Kevin likes to call it, “fag bag” and fish out my oversized celebrity looking sunglasses.
“Bobby is still shocked I have these,” I say as I place them on my face. “He tried to take them when we were on vacation in Rehoboth!”
“That’s because he breaks his every year.”
“These are my favorite pair. They are nice and big and minimize my huge Rihanna looking forehead,” I chortle. “Maybe he should just get a cheap pair at the dollar store if he breaks his every year.”
“Speaking of how’s the new store?” Kevin asks.
“It’s okay, it’s just a job. Just something for now. I am happy to be out of Allentown, especially out of that store and that parking lot,” I frown at him.
“Still bothers you, huh?” Kevin glances over at me with concern.
“I know it’s been like fourteen years and my college isn’t even in that lot anymore, but the area hasn’t changed at all. It still feels like yesterday.” My mind starts to wander back to that night…


The day had started wonderfully. It was the perfect spring day, sunny and warm. My college classmates and I took a field trip for our English class in New York City to see the United Nations building. I had only ever been to New York City one other time and that was to see the Statue of Liberty back in middle school.
Looking at the sights and large buildings with their fancy architecture, I still felt like that twelve-year-old boy who was in amazement. I tried to take pictures of random things without looking too much like a tourist, but I failed miserably! My classmates had to yell at me to put my camera away several times. They wanted to blend in with everyone else.
After our visit to the United Nations, we toured the city. We took the subway and went to Times Square, Rockefeller Center, Central Park, the Broadway District, SoHo, and Greenwich Village. I have never seen so many different people and so many Starbucks in my entire life! The city looked beautiful to me and being that I was an art major, I became inspired by everything around me.
I sketched a little in my pocket-drawing pad I had with me. I thought maybe being here would give me ideas for a future art class project. I sketched things I found interesting like statues, buildings, and signs. I drew quickly so I could keep up with my group. I could tell they were getting annoyed stopping at everything that I thought was appealing to look at.
My friend Keri kept calling out, “Jason! Come on!”
She always kept track of where I was and let me know when it was time to move on from one sight to another. She was in her mid-twenties, the oldest of our group and had a motherly appeal. Keri always looked after me, which was good, the last thing I needed was to get lost in New York City! This was not Home Alone 2. I am not Macaulay Culkin! I am sure I would get mugged or murdered!

After a very long day of walking around New York, and being stuck on a bus for four and half hours, (there was an accident on the highway, which held up traffic) we got back to Pennsylvania. Of course it was late, and the campus parking lot was completely bare. This was something I had not usually seen, but then again, I had not been at school this late either. It was getting increasingly colder out and had started to do that annoying misting thing. My face was getting moist from the mist and I could feel my clothes getting damper.
I hunted in my jean’s pocket for my car keys and placed them in my coat pocket while saying goodbye to my classmates. Then I slowly started to walk towards my car, which was parked at the other end of the lot. As I walked to my car, I saw my classmates one by one get into their vehicles and drive off. The campus lot was uncomfortably quiet; very different from the STD filled students that usually occupied it.
By the time I had gotten to my car, my cheeks were cold and I was the only one left in the parking lot. I reached into my coat pocket to dig out my keys, but noticed they were gone. I checked my other pocket, but all I found was my small sketchpad and a drawing pencil. When I checked the original pocket the second time I noticed there was a small hole at the bottom. I stuck my finger through it, opened my coat and saw my little pink ring finger wiggling at me, “hello!”
“Son of a bitch! My keys must have fallen out,” I angrily mumbled.
Searching the ground around me, I found nothing. They must have fallen out on my walk over here. I had no choice but to retrace my every step and hope that I find them. This was just what I wanted to do at almost one o’clock in the morning! I was tired and just wanted to go home.
There was trash gently blowing around the blacktop. Bits of paper, school flyers and Styrofoam cups from the cafeteria littered the parking lot. I never noticed it before, but college students are pigs! I even found a condom wrapper. It said “magnum” on it. I laughed a little and thought, I doubt that guy needed that! It must be like having a Hefty bag on your junk.
By now, I had almost retraced my steps completely and still no luck—no keys! I was practically at the first building when I noticed a tiny shimmer on the ground. It was like a mini beacon leading to what I was searching for. There were my car keys nestled with scraps of paper. I knelt down, picked them up and placed them in my jean pocket.
As I began to stand up, I felt as if I was not alone. I glanced a little over my shoulder and I saw dirty shoes behind me out of the corner of my eye. A dark figure was standing directly behind me. This stranger towered over me; he quickly placed his hand over my mouth and placed his other hand around my body pulling me up against him. I frantically tried to run forward to get away, but his grip on me was too strong and he kept pulling me back. He dragged me a few feet to an alleyway in between two of the campus buildings and pushed me hard up against the brick side of the building. My head bounced off the brick and I fell to the ground.

The concrete was cold and damp. It felt familiar, as I lay there motionless. It reminded me of when I was in high school a couple years ago. When my peers would push me to the ground and scream “faggot” at me.
Flashbacks of being a helpless little boy flooded my mind and I was terrified. This time it was different though. He did not push me to the ground to torment me. I must have blacked out for a few minutes when my head hit the concrete. When I awoke, I was not sure exactly what was happening, but I felt fear. I felt a body on top of me.
His breath was warm on my neck and his grip on my body was firm enough to tell me he wanted to be in charge.
He whispered, “Be good and I won’t hurt you.”
I could feel my heart beating faster and just when I started making noise to form a word, I felt it. I felt the cold steel of a knife he had pressed against my stomach. I wept, I wept like that helpless little boy.
“Shh be quiet,” he said, as he covered my mouth with one hand. His hand smelt like ashes and was rough on my skin.
“I will stab you if you make noise. Be good, it will be over soon.” His voice was deep and raspy as if he had just smoked two packs of cigarettes.
He took his hand off my mouth and I whispered, “Please don’t hurt me. Let me go.”
I could not move! The weight of his body was on me. I could tell he was bigger than my five foot, six inch frame. I tried to move my arm, but he pushed it back hard against the concrete and pressed the knife to my belly.
“Don’t move!” he said forcefully. I obeyed as if he was my owner.

My head was aching from the fall and tears ran down my cheek. I was absolutely terrified. The alleyway was very dark I could barely see my attacker even though he was on top of me. Light shined at the end of the alleyway from the parking lot. It was my light at the end of my personal tunnel. That light led to my salvation.
His skin was dark, but I could not tell what ethnicity he was. He had a very scruffy face. His unkempt beard brushed up against my smooth cheek and it burned. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and body odor wafted up my nose and made me feel ill. The world was spinning and my head was pounding.
He started to undo the button on my jeans and pulled down my zipper.
“No!” I screamed. My voice panicked and breathy. I became more alert to what was happening to me.
He smacked me in the face and tugged on my underwear. I could feel the cold air kiss my skin. He tried to roll me on my stomach and when I refused, he pressed the tip of the knife against my cheek. My heart was racing. I knew he was going to rape me.
He told me to “be good and keep quiet.”
Every time I refused his wishes, he pressed the knife to my skin so I could feel the sharp edge. He started to undo his belt and pant button.
He tried a second time to roll me over and I became angry. I was not going to let him do this to me! I resisted!
“NO,” I screamed out. “Get the fuck off me!”

I kicked him as hard as I could in the crotch. He moaned in pain as he grabbed his crotch and dropped the knife. This was my chance to get away. I stood up, kicked the knife and it disappeared into the darkness of the alley. I turned towards the light of the parking lot and just when I was about to run he grabbed me from behind...

***End of Sample***

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