I Love The Homosexuals!

Why do straight people love the gays so much? Maybe it's the fascination with gay culture, the fact that we are typically fun loving, we make straight people look better (stylists, designers, etc) and we are just plain awesome! Unless you are an inbred bible banger from West Virginia you're probably friends with at least one homo. (FYI Jesus loves us too see!)

It's more common now for a group of straight friends to have a 'token gay' among their group. We have replaced the little toy dog as an accessory and now everyone wants a sassy gay friend. Fair warning though if you're straight; don't have to many sassy gay friends in the same vicinity! We tend to go after each other like cannibals. One tries to out bitch the other. I've seen it happen. Like piranhas fighting over a bone. Lately I've been taking a break from the gay scene. You can only go to the same gay bars a few times before it gets really old. I like to mix it up a little once in awhile and hang out with a different crowd. In this case a 'straight crowd.' This way when I do finally go back to the gay bars I feel as refreshed as if I just had an anal douche. Good for the soul, good for your hole.

Kevin has a very diverse group of friends. Most of his friends consist of people he went to high school and college with. It's a mixture of mostly straight people (guys and girls) with a few maybe bi-curious and try anything once males. Because they've all known each other for years they are all pretty accepting of his sexuality and general lifestyle. It's cool to see this generation of 20 somethings be this open minded. When Kevin's group of friends has a party or something he usually invites me to join them. Usually I do say no cause I've always felt like I would be awkward, (Not only because they are straight but also because I am around 10 years older than they are.) but lately since I've needed a break from the mo's, I've taken him up on the offers. I'll be honest now and say I have had a pretty good time with Kevin's peeps. I haven't felt awkward at all. Maybe it's the fact I look young and can blend in with them or perhaps it's the fact I can out drink the straight boys and party with them. (I certainly feel my age the next day!) Well either way, the few times I've been out with Kevin and his mostly straight crowd I've enjoyed myself.

I think some his gay friends consider us entertainment. One of the straight cuties dropped his straw on the ground. He bent down, picked it up, blew the grass off the end of it and placed it back in his cup. Without even missing a beat I said "Hunny I do that too. I always blow it off and put it back in." Him and his buddies were cracking up and said I should do standup. They were instantly comfortable with me and continued to chat with me off and on all night. When I asked how I liked margarita made by the host I said, "I like em like I like my men, strong and thick." He smiled at me and said, "Well I'm thick." And another hottie who was kinda shy with me but after some drinks he then began to tell him that he loved his gay uncle and thought "gay guys were cool." This was followed by grabbing my arm and touching my stomach. Below is a picture of him passed out.

I could have sucked on those nipples for days. I so wanted to motorboat his bubble butt. He was an all you can eat buffet of hotness. The girls didn't like him to much because he began to get cocky with them. A couple guys actually questioned our sexuality. They said Kevin and I couldn't be gay because we were all over the girls. I think I proved my gayness when I said, "You wanna see how gay I really am, come here and I'll show you." That comment sent them packing and not in the sense I hoped for.

  If you are a straight individual chances are you fall into one of the categories below:
•Fag Hag- Mostly everyone has heard of the term 'Fag Hag' and if you haven't then you need to get out of that cave you are living in! A Fag Hag is obviously a gay slang referring to woman who enjoys the company of gay or bisexual men. She associates herself mostly or exclusively with gay and bisexual men and most of her close friends are gay and bisexual. Usually a Fag Hag is a heterosexual woman who is the best friend of a gay man. Some women hate being called a "Fag Hag" and view it as an insult while others embrace the title with their rainbow flag in hand.

Fag Hags are generally stereotyped as outgoing fun women. (Like my bubbly girls Lindsay, Bethany, Krissy and Kate) Sometimes they are seeking a substitute for a heterosexual relationship and perhaps are secretly (or openly) sexually attracted to gay men. After all most gay men are pretty and well put together. Some Fag Hags are gay men magnets, like Bethany. They are attracted to her like moths to a flame. Science has shown straight woman and gay man have similar brain waves and often experience similar emotions, that is probably why we get along so well. They've put up with men's bullshit and so have we. Let the bonding begin! Women whom identify themselves as Fag Hags and whom already are in a romantic relationship with straight men, may prefer the gay culture to the straight counterpart.

A rich rewarding relationship can flourish between a Fag and his Hag. It's a relationship without sexual tension, that allows the participants to separate intimacy and sexuality. It can also cause harm if the relationship becomes too codependent. Both parties involved can use each other as a substitute for an actual partner. This usually ends badly when one of the two finds a partner that can fulfill their needs both mentally and physically. I've even witnessed it where the Fag Hag's boyfriend or husband was actually jealous of her gay friend and the connection they shared.

  Almost all my gay friends have at least one Fag Hag. (or multiple ones) I for example have more than one, but I enjoy each ones company for a different reason. Jules is a long time friend and my long time Fag Hag. She has always supported everything I ever done and has always been there when I needed her. She's like an athletic supporter, never let's me down. Kevin has a similar relationship with Lynn and Bobby has a similar one with Tina. Only warning I may have is becareful when you have to many Fag Hags together. They Sometimes do get jealous of each other. It's like a bunch of girls fighting for the last piece of sausage. It can get ugly.

Other names for Fag Hags: Fruit Flies, Homo Honey, Fruit Loop Lover, Goldilocks, Flame Dame, Fairy Princess, Fairy Godmother, Queer Dears, and Sausage Sisters.

•Fag Stags- The male equivalent of Fag Hag is a Fag Stag. It's pretty much the same relationship as a Fag Hag. Sometimes though many Fag Stag relationships form because the straight man wants to go to gay bars with the gay man in order to "pick up" straight women. The gay bar scene is considered to be a safe haven for straight women, so usually their guard is down when approached by a Fag Stag. It also shows that perhaps since the Fag Stag is friends with the gays he too may be more sensitive. I actually have a good friend who is a Fag Stag and he is marrying a Fag Hag this summer. Their wedding is going to be a Gayapalooza!

Fag Stag can also mean a male gay icon or celebrity that is loved by the gay community who has gay friends or is associated with gay people. For example: Ben Affleck, Eric McCormack, Justin Timberlake, Colin Farrell, Matthew Broderick, Robbie Williams and Daniel Radcliffe who has stated he loves his gay fans and considers himself to be a Fag Hag or aka Fag Stag.

•Fruit Flies- People who associate with lesbian, gay and bisexual people may be called fruit flies regardless of their sex. Most cases it is a term used in place of "Fag Hag". Some women would prefer to be called "Fruit Fly" rather than "Fag Hag." I usually leave it up to them to come up with their own nicknames. A Fruit Fly though can be anyone that loves to hang out with gay people.

  •Gay For Pay Guys- Please see the post 'Gay For Pay' for more information on this topic.

•Tri-guys- Younger guys usually early 20 something men that are bi-curious and will "try" anything at least once. Usually associated with frat guys and horny young guys. Sometimes they look at things at just a "hole." Typically they will pursue women but or if they can't get any will then go after gay men. They usually are very flirtatious and extremely open minded. Usually the Tri-guys are selfish lovers. Because they are primarily only interested in women they have no interest in a man's penis or if he gets off. Typically they will perform gay sex but it's only anal (where they are the top) and it's only oral. (where they receive, but don't give.) They may use the excuse "Dude, I was so wasted I don't know what even happened." BUT if you think about it they were sober enough to have and maintain an erection. A Tri-guy mostly is just a sexual relationship but can be a gateway to Bisexuality and Gay. After all Bi is just a slippery cock away from Homoheights.

•Closeted Men- Occasionally straight men that may be confused or closeted will hang out with gay man in order to get a better feel of the gay culture. They are accepting of gay people, but may feel people won't be accepting of them. For some closeted individuals the process of coming out is terrifying. (See post 'Come Out, Come Out Wherever You are') They like to hang out with gay people because it's almost like a look into their possible future life without admitting it to others and to themselves. A lot of times the Closeted Men will look up to the gay men. It becomes almost a mentoring type of relationship even though in most cases the gay man has no concrete proof the guy may be closeted. (We usually can tell though.) There may or may not be sexual attraction between a Closeted Man and his gay friend but occasionally there is a 'crush' that may form. The Closeted Man may develop feelings for his gay friend, hence the reason he hangs out with him and vice-versa.

  •Dutch Boys- Are men who have many lesbian friends they can also be called; Lesbro, Dyke Tyke and in the UK Dikey Likey. These lesbian friendly men can be of any sexual orientation but typically are straight men. Straight men love lesbians or at least the fantasy of two hot girls going at it. Scissor anyone?
•Open Minded Individuals- OMI is our future. These peeps aren't Fag Hags, Fag Stags, or anything else. They don't really have gay friends and don't associate with gay people, but they still are open minded. They believe in equal rights regardless of sexual orientation and have no problems or issues with gay people whatsoever. This is how everyone should be and hopefully some day most of the population will feel this way.

Homophobia is becoming less prevalent. Efforts to confront violence and hostility towards sexual and gender minorities have been in place. Gay-straight alliance and other programs have lifted some of the stigma of having LGBT people as close friends. It's now cool to have gay friends. Gay is the way, we are trendy. Shower your homo with gifts to show you love him. I'll be waiting for mine in the mail. Gay people are like apples and straight people are like oranges, but what it all comes down to is that we are all fruit. Lesbian, gay, bi, transgendered and straight we are all human. Fuck hate!http://fckh8.com/
http://www.gaystraightalliance.org/

Gay For Pay

Gay for pay is when you have a heterosexual male who will preform gay sexual acts for money. I've been noticing that the straight male is profiting off on our need (as gay males) for hot men to lust over. No matter where you go in our 'Gay World' you're gonna run into so called straight men that are pretending to be gay just to earn a living. Just think about it; that muscly Go Go Dancer at your local gay bar, the bartender, barback, club security, even the club owner are most times straight. The heterosexuals have found a way to make money off our lifestyle and it's 'Cha Ching' all the way to the bank.

I was at our local gay bar recently and this establishment is known to hire muscle looking kind of guys to dance. (If you call it dancing. Apparently swaying back and forth and flexing is dancing to these guys) Most times these guys do nothing for me. They dance around in G-Strings, Jockstraps, and Thongs to try to entice us to give them a dollar. (Yo, Hercules can you break a five?) They aren't allowed to be fully naked so they have to stay semi-covered. There's even guys that wear flake penis underwear (their real junk is actually behind it or in it. It's kinda like a prosthetic penis) I swear I can spot a fake dick a mile away. My ass has dickdar. When I get close to a nice one my ass puckers up, but if the dick is fake It wants nothing to do with it.

There was only a handful of times where the gay for pay dancer actually did anything for me. A few weeks go there was a hot one out at the bar who was actually a really good dancer. He did this dance move where he did a headstand and humped the air. It was pretty amazing. His outfit choices consisted of thongs. He had a hot body and at the end of night he came out in this see through mesh cocksock thing that left nothing to the imagination. (You could see the vein in his cock!) As Bobby drunkenly said in a voicemail to Krissy, "His steak and mash potatoes where out, if you know what I mean."

The porn industry has picked up on the gay for pay trend but if these men are having sex with other men are they still considered "straight?" Here's Bobby's take on the whole thing, "Gay for pay doesn't really impress me. I could see how some people may get very turned on by the "straight" guy having gay sex, but these are porns they aren't real. In my opinion the guy is no more straight then that naughty pizza delivery boy looking to get a nice 'fat tip', or the horny farm hand looking to 'plow a field'. At the end of the day you wanna see gay sex. Unless the fantasy itself helps you get off by them actually commenting that they are straight, then there is no difference." In my opinion if these straight guys are performing gay sexual acts on other men then they really should be calling themselves "Bi."

Websites like; Fratmen, Fratpad, HazeHim, DickDorm, Sean Cody and others all feature straights (there's of course some gay and bi-curious men too.) willing to do things for a buck. Alot of the websites are centered around a fraternity and show horny college boys fucking and sucking their way through school. These website are actually fake though. These so called "fraternities" were created to provide an illusion that this behavior happens when you put sexually active men together. These fratboys went through screenings and auditions just like anything else, it's an act for the camera. Just think about it when in your life have you've seen a frat house full of guys that look like that?? Seriously frat boys have bad skin and beer bellies! The gay porn industry seems to market the same type of boy. They are always 20 something jock types with 6% body fat, cum gutters (six pack abs) and a desperate need for money. The more money offered the more intense the sexual act.

If you watch MTV on Wednesday night you'll meet a gay for pay who actually made it to mainstream television. Dustin Zito from The Real World: Las Vegas was a gay for pay. He went by the name of Spencer for the porn sites. On the very first episode he tells us that he was a model and worked for this website where he walked around naked on a webcam. He stated that the website was actually geared towards gay men and featured college aged boys in a fraternity. When he got The Real World gig he kinda sugar coated things with MTV a bit saying that he never really performed gay acts. (um oral sex and handjobs with another guy sounds like gay acts to me) Apparently the gay sites were suppose to take every picture and video of him down (as far as I know they have now unless it's on someones personal site) of course the sites took their sweet time. The porn sites aren't stupid they know people are going to look him up and pay to see him play with another guy.

You could consider mainstream actors gay for pay as well. Television production companies realize the importance of putting gay characters on tv. Darren Criss (Blaine) from Glee "came out" so to speak as straight. He has said in interviews, "It doesn't matter if I'm gay or straight, I'm just playing a role." In a recent episode he had a scene where he kissed Kurt. (played by Chris Colfer who is a real gay) The kiss was actually epic and has created both positive and negative feedback. Darren Criss goes on to say, "I think it's more empowering to everybody, including myself, if I'm articulate about identifying myself as a straight male playing a gay character. Ultimately, that's more powerful for both communities." This is one case where being gay for pay has created positive role models for young gay teens. More and more actors are jumping at the chance to play gay characters. On 90210 Trevor Donovan's character (Teddy) came out of the closet and gays everywhere got a little wet in their crotches. Yes he really is that yummy! If you think about it almost every television network features a gay character somewhere on their lineup and most times he is a young jock pretty boy kind of type. Sex sells and we're buying it.

So why do you think we find straight men so appealing? Why are porn sites marketing straight and so called bi-curious men (bi is really just a sausage ride away from Gayville anyway.) to the gay community? Well to really break it down simple. I seriously think the reason why we love straight men is because most of them are unattainable. (It's a fantasy and desire.) You know what they say when you can't have something that's when you want it the most. After all we are gay we love men! Manly men! Gimme, gimme! Some gay men also enjoy the challenge of trying to sleep with straighties. It becomes kind of like a game. (For most the idea of possibly changing a straight guy is a turn on.) Three percent of men report having a sexual experience with the same sex this past year. I'll be honest I like to flirt with straight men and most actually find it a compliment. Have I ever had sex with a straight man? No, everyone I've been with were gay, but I have made out with at least two different straight guys before. They were drunk. One even stated "I bet you're really good at giving head." and kinda suggested that he was interested. I of course didn't take him up on his offer.
Kevin seems to have a straight guy fetish (the perfect market for the gay for pay industry. He is also the average age these porns go after.) whether it's porn or actually hooking up with so called straight guys. He's been confirming straightness since 1999. When I asked him why he liked them so much his reply was, "Well when you hook up with them you know it's all good because there's no strings attached. It's like a nice hump and dump. I had fun and they don't really want to bring it up again for fear that someone will find out. OR most times they just don't remember because they were really that fucked up." (Cough, whore haha)

This past weekend I was invited to a house party at my friend Lukas's and I dragged Kevin along with me. It was a very diverse group of people full of fags, hags, and stags. Kevin and I did a little 'basket shopping' (when you check out a guy's package in his pants) and drank a lot of cosmos. (which we will now call Devil's Drank. Lukas had cosmos mixed up on tap and he must have made at least five batches.) After Kevin's third glass of cosmo he then asked Lukas, "Can I have my next drink in red Solo cup?" Lukas looked at him puzzled and I said, "He's known to break things and spill stuff." I was right even with the Solo cup he managed to spill a little pink cosmo on his white T-shirt. (I have to remember to start carrying the Tide Pen) There was a few really good looking straight guys at this party. Here we go again. When one of the guys came in Kevin got all excited and said, "Wow he's really hot I wonder if he's straight?" Lukas replied, "Um Kevin you aren't saying that in your head. It was audio, everyone heard you. Yeah he's straight leave him alone." Oh snap!

I think the most interesting part of my evening was at the end of the night. This kinda cute 20 something gay guy Aaron drank a little to much and ended up getting sick. Someone put him to bed and Kevin and I went upstairs to check on him. Kevin was talking to other people in the room and I was chatting with Aaron. He pulled the blanket off himself to show me he had no pants or underwear on. He smiled and laughed I quickly threw the blanket back on him before anyone else saw and said, "Hunny cover your twig and berries." It was really funny and he pretty much passed out shortly after that. The next day he messaged me and had no recollection of what happened.

I guess what it all comes down to is that men in general are visional creatures (that's why 70% watch porn) so as long as we are attracted to the guy it doesn't matter if he is bi, gay, or straight we'll be interested. It's all about the eye candy! As long as there's straight men willing to play gay, well be willing to pay. Would I ever be "straight to date?" Well considering I practically shit glitter I think that's impossible. I love my girls, but Ew pooter.