Is Everyone Dick Obsessed, Except for Me?

Okay, okay don’t get me wrong, I love dick. Sure, I watch porn. I enjoy photos of naked men, but that’s pretty much it. I have concluded that everyone is obsessed with dick except for myself.

We live in a penis-obsessed society. There are annual festivals in Japan worshipping the penis. I don’t live in Japan obviously, but it feels like everyone is phallic cray around me. Everyone is like “Ooo penis, and I’m over here like, ‘Can I get some cheese fries?’”

I became increasingly aware of my indifference over the summer on vacation. I was on vacation with three other gay men for a week. They, of course, were actively seeking dick, and I just wanted to meet someone to talk to. Needless to say, I didn’t have that much fun. I was surrounded by gay men and felt completely alone because there was no one that was like me. Everyone was only interested in hooking up and blowing a load. 

As I’m getting older, I have discovered that there is, in fact, no one that is like me. Even the “nice guys” aren’t that nice. So if they are finishing last, then I must be stuck in reverse.

I can count on one hand how many sexual partners I have had. This includes all sexual acts; oral, anal, mutual masturbation. I had relationships with all of them. I wouldn’t call myself a prude. I have a mouth like a sailor, I write gay erotica and I’d be the first one of my group of friends to see a hot foreign guy and say, “I wanna put his dick cheese on a cracker.” of course I wouldn’t mean it. I would just say it because it’s vulgar and funny. I had sex a lot with my partners, I like sex, but I have always treated sex as a form of connecting with someone I cared about. Therefore, as you can see one-night stands are not my thing.

I wish I could be like the general gay public. Most of my friends open their mouths and bam a penis falls in, and they seem happy about it. I don’t know where my moral compass comes from. I’m not saying their promiscuous behavior is wrong; I’m saying it is wrong for me. They say, “Hello” by sending pictures of their dicks to strangers, and I say, “Hello” by saying, “Hello.” Sure, I appreciate a nice dick pic, but it is more of a turn off for me. I always look at it like this, if he is sending it to me, he’s sending it to other guys, and there goes that special feeling. My friends obviously use Grindr for hooking up; I use it to sell books. I admit it is funny. When I’m in a different location or city guys look up the info and then proceed to buy a copy of one of my books. It happens all the time. At least there are guys out there that like dick and reading.

I have been told that I am boyfriend / husband material, yet I’m single. Most gay men can only commit to their Netflix subscription so you can see why this is problematic. I don’t want the “open” relationship or be that couple that “plays.” I have tried dating sites that are supposed to cater to men looking for something more, but it is just the same guys that are on Grindr with nicer profiles. Maybe I need to move.

As you can see, I am in a rut. It’s rather lonely on this side of the rainbow. I feel like there’s no one that feels this way and even talking to my friends about this is hopeless. They don’t understand. They say, “Just get some peen already.” Hoping on some D will temporarily make me feel great, but the aftermath of “Why did I do that?” will haunt me, and I’d be worse off. I have a feeling the only dick I will ever be obsessed with will belong to my future boyfriend… wherever he is. 

Chapter 22: Passion

The rising sun dimly lit our bedroom. The blinds are closed, but light creeps out of the corners of the two windows. It makes the room appear to be a different color. The twilight glow of the early morning makes the walls pink, majestic and tranquil. Everything is quiet except for his inhale and exhale of breath.

He is sleeping on his side. His back is facing me. He is completely naked. The bed sheet is just barely covering his lower half. I crack a smile because I can see a little butt crack. It is milky white with a little bit of light brown peach fuzz running down the middle. I always thought his butt was cute. I run the back of my hand down his backside feeling the fuzz. He does not stir. I giggled a little trying to muffle the sound with my pillow. I do not want to wake him.

I nudged myself closer to him and draped my right arm over his stilled body. He moved his arm slightly so I am able to slip my right arm under his. I can tell he is not awake and the movement was more out of instinct. I am spooning his naked body and caressing his chest. The small patch of chest hair he has directly in the middle tickles me in between my fingers. I love his little bit of chest hair. I love to play with it.

The room is cold from the fan and air conditioner, but I am warm by the heat expelling from his body. I moved my right leg next to his and just like with his arm, he instinctively lifts his right leg, so I am able to slip my leg in between his. I am pressed up against his body and we breathe in unison.

His skin is supple and the faint smell of his cologne lingered in the air. His smell always turns me on. I buried my face into his back so I can let the pungent aroma from his cologne and body seep into my lungs. It is intoxicating to me.

His body stirs slightly as I exhale. I can imagine the feel of my breath on his naked skin must tickle. He moaned deeply and buried his face into his pillow. I hold onto his body. His back is toned nicely and his shoulders are extremely broad. I always feel safe next him.

My hands travel down to his stomach and I feel a thatch of belly hair. He does not have a lot, but what he does have is soft and thick. I let my hand brush over it. He moved again and let out a husky sigh into his pillow. I moved my hand further down and brushed up against his penis. He is slightly aroused, but not all the way there yet. I grabbed it and yanked gently.

He reached over with his left hand and placed it on top of mine. Our fingers intertwine. He yanked on my hand forcing me even closer to him and locked his legs together so my leg is completely trapped between them. I let his penis go. He gently squeezed my hand and pressed his legs together and we rest like this for a few minutes while the morning sun slowing starts to invade our room. The bedroom walls are now an orange color.

I close my eyes and try to drift off, but he awakens me when he released his hold on my leg and unlocked his fingers from my hand. He rolled onto his back and stretched out. I opened my eyes quickly and watched as he stretched his body out on practically the whole length of the bed. The bed sheet is just barely covering him and it rests at his waist. He clearly is pitching a tent. I looked at his full arousal as he stretched, but closed my eyes when he stopped. I pretended I was asleep.

He rolled his body over to face me. I can feel his breathe on my face and I can tell he is staring directly at me. His eyes are burning into my soul. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a penetrating green gaze that looked at me intently. He cracked a smile that made the faint freckles on his nose move and dimples to appear by his cheeks.

He leaned closer to my mouth and planted a kiss on my lips. I brushed his light brown hair away from his forehead and a playful smile emerged on his handsome face. I leaned in and kissed his forehead.

“I’m going to put the coffee on,” I said as I started to sit up on the bed.

I am almost standing, but he quickly pulled me down to him and rolled me over so he is on top of me. He grasped both my wrists and forced them down on the bed while giving me that playful smile. He lets go of my wrists and as I started to move my arms, he forced them back down on the bed. He winked at me and licked his lips. He wants me to stay still and to obey. I want him always and I am more than happy to oblige.

He trailed kisses from my neck down to my chest, caressing my chest and lightly pinching my nipple. I moaned in excitement. As a grin appeared on my face, he worked his way back up to my lips. His thick tongue is forceful. It is bubble gum pink and delicious. The taste of him enveloped my mouth, invading, taking no mercy.

I lied there helpless unable to move from the weight of his body on top of me. He always renders me unable to have free will over my actions, over my mind, over my body. I want him. It scared me how badly I always wanted him. I know I am hopelessly and irrevocably in love with this man...

I hope you enjoyed this snippet of Chapter 22: Passion, from my book Salty Aftertaste. Salty Aftertaste is available everywhere in ebook and paperback. Just search "Salty Aftertaste" at your favorite book retailer. You can get the ebook directly from me here:

Question: Is Monogamy A Bad Word?

Are we all relationship handicapped or are we just whores? Monogamy is a scary 8 letter word to some people. They treat it as if it's some type of STD that has been caught. Why is monogamy so elusive in today's gay society? We are fighting every day for equal rights and we are fighting for our right to marry, but what's the point if we aren't faithful to one another?

Monogamy isn't just a gay issue it's a people issue. The straight society between all the divorces and affairs, has a hard time grasping this monogamous concept. But it just seems as if gay relationships have a standard rule; thou can covet another's ass. Out of all the gay couples I know there's only a handful that are 100% monogamous. Why is this so accepting among gay men? Lack of blood to the brain due to increase stiffness in lower regions?? See, the problem is we were given a brain and a penis. There's only enough blood to run one at a time. Show us a hot guy and you can pretty much assume which one we will be thinking with. Most people stray or want open relationships because they're paying more attention to what they're missing, rather than what they already have.
Every relationship should have their own set of rules. What works for one couple may not work for another. To each their own, but can all the open relationships, playing around with another guy together, and hidden hook ups behind the K-mart really work? If you are so happy with your partner then why do you have to invite every Tom, Dick, and hairy Jose into your bedroom?
Question: Do you think monogamy will become extinct in the future? With all the gay marriages and now with more states getting onboard with gay marriage, will more gay couples be monogamous? What are your thoughts on monogamy? Click on the blue comment link below to leave a comment.

Results of poll: Are You In A Monogamous Relationship?

-19% said yes they are in a very happy monogamous relationship.
-9% said they are in a monogamous relationship but would be open to explore others sexually with their partners.
-61% said they are not in a monogamous relationship but hope someday that they will be.
-4% said that monogamy is not for them and that they feel it's something that the straight society wants us to conform too.

Sinful

We are all human even if some of us don't always act it. To be human is to be filled with vice. Everyone has a bad habit or has done something at one point in their life that was degrading or could be perceived as immoral by others. If you take The 7 Deadly Sins and applied them to your daily life we are guilty of committing at least one daily. Some may say that being gay is a sin, but The 7 Deadly Sins don't discriminate against sexual orientation. We are all capable of sinning the same way. They always say "everything in moderation" but then what kind of fun is that!? No great stories ever started with, "I stayed home and read my bible." Looking back at my past weekend adventures I discovered that I am a culprit of The 7 Deadly Sins. Thankfully I didn't commit them all, but what I didn't do others did. Four out of the seven is the formula for a fabulous weekend!

Envy- is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation. Typically you hold resentment for the individual you are envious of and wish them misfortune.

Why we do it: Because other people must be screwing leprechauns! Some people just have all the luck. Everyone wants what someone else has. It's just human nature.

  Friday night James, Sean, their next door neighbor Carrie, Kevin and myself went to the Takeover event at ArtsQuest Center's Muiskfest Café together. The place was huge with two bars, a stage and DJ who played fun dance music all night. This event was a great turnout for Takeover. Muiskfest Café was packed with old friends, new friends and "opportunities." When we arrived Bobby was already more than half in the bag. He had just gotten off his juice cleanse and I thought he was a lightweight before! Apparently not eating for ten days not only shrinks your tummy but your alcohol tolerance as well.

James and Sean's next door neighbor Carrie was such a hoot. I like her... She drinks. After being in the building for 5 minutes this cute older lesbian tried to pick her up. Us gays don't even get that kind of attention! The little lesbian was so sweet but Carrie is straight. She'll have to find someone else to buy matching fanny packs with.

Watching James and Sean together that night made me realize how envious I am of their relationship. I want what they have. Actually Bobby, Kevin and Kile want it too. Their type of monogamous relationship is rare among the gay community. Out of all the couples I know their relationship is the only one I would want to use as a role model of what I want mine to be. Having envy for them I am suppose to have resentment and wish them misfortune, but I don't. The only one I have resentment for is myself (unlike Kevin, when he sees a happy couple on the street he wants to push them into traffic). I keep thinking I've run out of time. The older I get the more I feel like it's not going to happen for me. I may wish James and Sean nothing but the best, but I am jealous. I want what they have and I feel I deserve it. Can you really ever be envious without a little jealousy?

Wrath- is manifested in the individual who rejects love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Anger. They say there's a thin line between love and hate sometimes that line gets crossed.

Why we do it: People are fucking idiots! And because sometimes the people around you are pretty freaking irritating. Life can't always be rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes a little fury is needed to get your point across.

  Of course every story has to have a villain, enter mine! While at the Takeover we ran into Richard. He had been in the area visiting family for two weeks. He never cared about them before. I am not sure why he has started now. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and tugged on Kevin's shirt. Kevin looked over then passed the message off to James. James said "Ohh let me at the asshole he better keep his distance." Out of instinct I looked around for sharp objects. The anger filled my body and I just wanted to slap him! Not even 10 minutes of being there, Kile came over and told me Richard was in the building. Then two minutes after that Bobby did the same thing. It's nice to know I have friends that look out for me. As we walked to the other side of the room I could see Richard watching me. I felt safe because I was surrounded by my posse.
Later on James and Sean went outside to smoke and Richard happened to be there. He made an attempt to talk to James and James told him it was in his best interest to stay away from him. James is like the Vice President of the "We Hate Richard Club!" I can't believe he even had the nerve to talk to James. Apparently Richard had met a girl outside at one point and she said, "It was a pleasure meeting you Richard!" James overheard this and chimed in, "You'll regret it later!" and then walked back inside. That's my boy!
On the dance floor we intentionally danced by Richard and the date he brought who was wearing Freddy Krueger hand me downs. Kevin pushed Sean into them a few times and whispered into my ear, "I can't stop staring at how bad his teeth are!" Richard didn't even attempt to talk to me. I think he is scared as he should be. If we were alone on a balcony I'd push him off it. There's a villain in every story and you know what happens to them at the end? ... They die! And if there's a sequel... They die AGAIN! I play the lead role, this bitch ain't getting killed off!

Lust- is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Why we do it: Oh, please because we are huge skanks that just want to bust a nut. After the Takeover Kevin, James, Sean and myself went back to James and Sean's house for after bar snacks. I of course not being drunk enough made another drink. I've been told when I get uber wasted I start to speak in tongues and it appears as if my head would rotate around. It must be that evil ginger in me. After eating some pizza James and Sean went to bed. Kevin told me he was going home. He said I actually growled at him when he said that. Kevin lied to me he didn't go home. I didn't find out the truth till the next day while we were on the train together heading into Philly. He thought I'd be least likely to yell at him in public. Instead of going home he went to Harold's house (whom lives down the street from James and Sean's) because he was having an after party there. As soon as Kevin told me that, I knew he went there to see his ex and I knew they hooked up again! I could see the guilt on Kevin's face. Though I believe it to be the guilt of lying to me not for what he did with The Ex.

I basically told Kevin that he is having an affair because The Ex has no plans to leave the guy he has been with for years. If this was a straight relationship Kevin would be the other woman! This is turning into a never ending cycle. I hate how he disrespects himself so much and just keeps letting this occur. Kevin is giving The Ex power because he keeps giving into him. I told him I was disappointed in him for his actions and I'd rather have him hook up with a stranger than to keep going down this roller-coaster. Kevin said, "Disappointed? Whaaa that's the worst ever! Parents say that!" Kevin said they did talk about things and I said, "Oh I'm sure into between the blow jobs."

The Ex isn't an awful guy. He is rather nice, but he is 20 years older than Kevin and at this point should know better! Kevin deserves to be someone's everything, not someone's sometime. He said he wants to remain friends with The Ex which is fine, but this friends with benefits thing is not healthy because there's feelings involved. I've seen Kevin cry over The Ex a few times. No one likes to see their best friend hurt and in pain. I know he needs to make his own mistakes (grr I mean decisions) but I can't help but feel protective of him. It angers me so much that The Ex is cheating on the guy that he refuses to leave! And Kevin is helping him cheat! Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world. Kevin is like a drug addict he needs rehab for this. I wonder if they make a patch.

Gluttony- is a desire to consume more than one requires. Such as excessive eating or drinking.

Why we do it: Because we are pigs! Overindulgence is fun. I'll drink to that!

All a board! Kevin and I were invited to spend the night in Philly with his cousin Jelissa. I dubbed her the porn name Jelicious Cox! We decided to take the train in since it would be cheaper and we wouldn't need to worry about parking in the city. When we arrived at the train station it was already dark and the inside waiting area was already closed. As we were trying to get the information for the next train we noticed a guy laying down on a bench right by the schedule sign. He yelled, "Heeeyyyy!" at me. I looked at him and said, "hey" back not thinking twice about it. He yelled, "HEYYYY!" again and this time even louder. Kevin and I knew he had to be fucked up, either on drugs or drunk and this was becoming rather creepy. We grabbed our bags and walked to the other side of the station where people get dropped off. In our attempt to avoid the creepy man we missed getting our train info. We walked around to the other side of the station this time we were in a spot where he wasn't going to be able to see us unless he got up and moved. I sat my bags on a bench and read the schedule information that was posted on the window directly above the bench I had my bags on. The man screams, "HEEEEYYYYY!" really loudly this time. He must have heard us and in an effort to get up he rolls off the bench and face plants on the hard concrete. You could hear the smack of his skin as he landed. He lifts his head up and looks over at us standing off to the side. Kevin tugs on my coat and runs to the other side as I'm still trying to gather up my bags! Some great protector he is!

"Omg I wonder if he's dead!?" Kevin said over dramatically. "I think he is ok. Just got the wind knocked out of him. He looked over at us as we ran away." I laughed as I said it. This shit only happens to us! We stayed on other side cuddled in the corner. The side the creepy man was on was quiet now. A cop car pulled up and slowed down as he drove passed us. We saw him drive around to the other side where the creepy man was. I said, "He's gonna get arrested just wait!" About ten minutes pass and the cop car drives passed us again this time we notice the creepy man in the back of the car. Kevin and I look at each and started laughing.

With no fear now, we walked to the other side again to wait for our train. At the bench the creepy man was on there was a brown bag and an empty bottle of Smirnoff Vodka. "Well that explains why he was so fucked up." I said. I looked over and could see something black under the bench. "What's that Kev?" I said as I reached under the bench and grabbed it. "Omg! It's his BlackBerry!" Without even skipping a beat or thinking about it Kevin said, "Let's look through it!"

Looking through a stranger's phone actually made the time fly by. We first glanced at his texts which were from some random girls. Some he didn't even know their names. One was labeled as 'Rich King of Prussia Girl.' We found a folder that had all his pictures and discovered the creepy man was a freak. He of course had pics of naked girls but he had nude pics of himself as well. He had a freaking nice body and an enormous uncut cock! The creepy guy was rather good looking and as we scrolled through the pics we discovered he liked to jack off into ladies underwear. He also had random pics of a little boy which we assumed was his son or at least we hoped. He also had pictures of other naked guys which told us maybe he was bi. Kevin said, "Omg he's hot I'd fuck him." I replied, "Of course you would your standards are low."
We watched his videos. He had a couple vids of the same little boy at the zoo and playing with sparklers, he was his son. He also had videos of a girl giving him head and she could barely fit his cock in her mouth.

There was a video where he was titty fucking a girl with National Geographic boobs and another where she gave him a hand job. We went through his phone apps and discovered he had Facebook. I went on his Facebook profile and his name was Paul Siriani! So Paul if you happen to see this make sure you always have your phone locked so creepers like us can't go through it. Make this a lesson to everyone! Always lock your phone with a password. Good thing Kevin and I are nice we could have done major damage. We left his phone on a window by the bench and boarded the train. Kevin and I would have felt bad if we would have taken it even though everyone we texted about it, said "take it!!"

We arrived in Philly in good time and headed to Jelissa's apartment. Our friend Lola met us there, she brought with her a pretty blonde girl whom she had just met but totally bonded with, and Jelissa's best friend Sue. After some drinks made with Chambord, drama with Jelissa's sister (I guess the over dramatics runs in Kevin's family) it was her birthday and she was having a Mariah Carey meltdown, it was time to head out to the bars. Jelissa, Sue, Kevin and I were off. Lola and her friend left early because Lola hurt her back some how. We went to Woody's first because it was directly across the street from Jelissa's apartment. How easy is that!?

Woody's was packed! We all got Redbull and vodka and people watched. Lots of hot guys. I had texted Knockers to let him know we were in the city, but as usual he has to make his grand entrance. He'd be late to his own funeral. We stood by a window waiting for him and noticed a drunk Asian chick on the floor surrounded by her Ninja posse. They got up and left, but left their drinks up against the window on the floor. Who does that? We ran into Steve and Bill for a few minutes until they disappeared upstairs. My guess, they were on the hunt for a third.

After Sue's second drink (at the bar, I don't know how many she had at the apartment) she really loosened up. She danced all over and smiled at the gay guys. Even kissed Kevin a little bit and told me I smelt good enough to eat. This had hot mess written all over it. In Sue's flailing (dancing) we managed to knock over the glasses the Asian's left behind on the floor by the window. I bent down to pick them up and smelt vomit and saw chunks. They had thrown up in the glasses! Jelissa covered her mouth and darted thru the sea of hot gay men. She said, "I'm so sorry I have a horrible gag reflex! And all I can smell is vomit!" One of the gay guys smiled at her and said, "It's ok we can help you with the gag reflex." Poor Jelissa looked like she was gonna barf and she kept saying "I can still smell it!" Even though we were 30 feet away from it in a crowd of sweaty guys. I said, "Quick smell my armpits they smell good." With no hesitation at all Jelissa sniffed away and then Sue joined in. They said my armpits smelt good. Ha! It appears our overindulgence in alcohol has started and clouded our judgement.

Greed- is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring everything and everyone else. All that matters is status and power

Why we do it: Because money makes the world go around. We are all greedy mother fuckers. Whoever said money doesn't equal happiness obvious has none. It may not make you feel happy all the time but it makes everything easier.

  We ended up meeting Knockers at Tavern on Camac. He pretty much attacked us as Kevin and I walked upstairs. Knock grabbed my ass kissed me on the cheek and dragged us over to the bar. He asked everyone what we wanted our Grey Goose mixed with. We all said Redbull. Knockers made this disgusted look and ordered for us. I knew what he was doing. The girls started to pull our their money and Knock gestured to them to put it away. He ordered everyone Grey Goose on the rocks. I looked at Kevin and said, "I knew he was gonna do that!" Knocker's said, "Sorry I don't mix GG with any shit. You drink it straight." We laughed at Knock because while he bought us all Grey Goose he was sipping out of a Redbull can! He said he needed to sober up for the drive home. Jelissa said, "I love him! I'd follow him around all night if he kept buying us Grey Goose!" Then she continued to sip on her vodka. Kevin took a sip and said, "It's burning my insides!" He isn't used to drinking plain vodka as where I am a pro. I said, "That's just it cleansing your soul. Drink more you need it." After his 5th sip he said, "This is pretty good!" and when he tried to take a 6th sip he couldn't find the straw with his tongue.

Ordering top shelf liquor is like showing status for Knockers. I wouldn't call him money hungry greedy. He does things to maintain the status that he was born into. He doesn't chase it but if you could have the best of everything wouldn't you? He is the type of friend that wouldn't give you the shirt off his back, he'd just go out and buy you one! He is one of my favorite people to hang out with because he does what he does, says what he says and doesn't give a shit. He is very generous and loyal to his friends as well. Knock grabbed me by the crotch and yanked me out to the dance floor I had to follow he had me by the peen and we all danced for a bit.

The girls left to find the bathroom. Knockers was dragged away by his friends and said he'd text me when they got to another bar. We all went downstairs to the piano bar so the girls could finish their drinks. They aren't cum guzzlers like Kevin and I it takes them longer. At this point Sue was wasted. She grabbed Kevin and kissed him. He pretty much skull fucked her with his tongue. The image still haunts me! She told him she wants him to eat her out. Ewww!!!!! She kept going back for more Kevin tongue and I said, "Kev she's engaged! Her man is gonna be pissed!" He said, "I know I have a problem!!" Once Jelissa opened her mouth to sing I knew it was time to exit the bar!

Knockers told me to head back to Woody's but by the time we got there they were gone. His friends dragged him to iHop. I texted him and said, "Bitch! You left without saying goodbye!" He replied, "I'm eating." I said, "Yeah! Everything but me!" He laughed. I told him next time he has to stop with the cameo appearances. He deserves a leading role. In typical Knock response, "I prefer cameos to leading roles. It always keeps them wanting more." He is right we do! Knock said he'd try to come up and visit soon. I'm going to hold him to that!

Woody's still had a decent crowd and because we hadn't had enough we drank more good thing Jelissa only lives across the street. As we waited in line for the bathroom Sue met a girl that was out with her gay friend. I chatted with him for a bit. He said she was lesbian and asked if Sue was. I said, "No actually she's engaged to be married. See the big rock on her finger?" He looked and said, "I don't know I think they are making out like any minute." As soon as the words left his mouth Sue's mouth was on the lesbian. Kevin had just gotten back from peeing with a black girl and we looked at each other and said, "Les-b-honest she a ho!" The goose made her loose! She was becoming the poster child for herpes. They continued to make out for a half hour till Sue wasn't feeling well and Jelissa took her to the bathroom. As Kevin and I waited we got more drinks.

Sloth- is the avoidance of physical work. Lazy.

Why we do it: Because after we commit all the other sins we become lazy and we're good fer nuthin' couch potatoes!

After walking drunk Sue home it was time to call it a night. We got pizza down the street which Kevin dropped the cheese part down on Jelissa's carpet and then picked it up and ate like nothing happened at least it didn't fall on the ground THIS TIME. We went to bed around 4am and I awoke the next morning with the sun shining in my eyes and Kevin farting in my face. Yeah, that's hot. I'm lucky I don't have pink eye. Jelissa, Kevin and I were so hungover. Water, Advil, Coffee and repeat! Jelissa had a flight to catch at 3 and she said Kevin and I could use her apartment if we wanted to go out and leave our stuff here. We visited Jelissa's sister (Kevin's other cousin) at her work. She's a waitress at King Oaks where we had brunch and drank Bloody Mary's and Mimosas till our headaches went away. We ended up getting home around 5:30 and boy was I exhausted. All that sinful fun left me spent.

Pride- is an excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of everything else in the world. The only thing that matters in the world is you. You are in love with yourself. This is the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Why we do it: Loving mothers told us to believe in ourselves and said we were beautiful everyday.

  Over the weekend I met a few gay boys that pretty much thought their shit didn't stink. Of course all of them were young and pretty. Sometimes I feel like to be gay is to think you are above everyone else, but there's a difference between confidence and cocky. Confidence is sexy but cockiness isn't it. There's a reason why having too much pride in yourself can lead to the other so called sins. If all you care about is yourself then of course you'd indulge in gluttoness activities, give into your bodily sexual urges, and do anything to get ahead in life. Remember everything in moderation. Being sinful is fun sometimes but you can't live that way forever. Other people and other things you care about have to eventually come first. Only then will you have balance. So get on your knees bitch and confess me your sins. Hey, I never said I was an angel.

Maybe You Don't, But "I Do" By George

Gay marriage. I hear there’s a big political scuff over this, and the Republicans are practically pledging allegiance to eliminating us off the face of the Earth. It’s kinda funny, cuz former Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter is a very out and about lesbian, and when asked his opinion after being out of the White House, he quite frankly had no problem with the idea of gays getting married.

I don’t follow any of the political stuff, because quite frankly after I listen to politicians speak (about anything), I just want to bang my head against a wall and get my passport renewed for a one-way trip to Canada (eh?). It completely baffles me why people put so much energy and money into oppressing the homosexuals.  Seriously, we just want the same rights as the breeders. Their lives won’t be inconvenienced any because we get married. In fact, their lives are being inconvenienced even more by them making a stink about it.  Give us what we want, and we’ll leave you alone, it’s that simple.  Let us get married, and you can go back to fucking the maid, everybody wins!!

The thing that really works my last nerve is these people who rattle off the Bible verses like it’s the alphabet. Blah blah blah man shall not lay with man blah blah blah.  Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor as thyself?” They just like to observe certain excerpts. I’m sure we could pull out a few excerpts that pertain to the breeders and the things that they shouldn’t do: pre-marital sex, cheating on one’s spouse, child abuse, making illegitimate babies, and so on and so forth. Bob Barker should give all the homos a new car for helping control the population, well….minus the few lesbians out there that decide to make babies. And since when, all of a sudden, is the Bible the way we run government? Don’t we base that on the Constitution? At least that’s what I learned in school. You love the Lord? Great! Some of us don’t, or not to the extent that you do or to the point that we exploit it and make it a key focus in our political campaign.

I certainly don’t believe that the entire country sides the same way as the politicians. Granted, there are some demographics that are a bit, how should I say, lop-sided leaning towards the “we hate gays” side.  It’s the 1% of the richest people in this nation that make all the decisions; it shouldn’t be whatever percentage it is that the gays can’t get married. I’m not partnered up or anything, but one day I would like to be, and would like to be able to see my partner in the hospital if he’s on his deathbed. Just imagine if the breeders were denied to see their life partner, just once, taking all the biblical and political and everything else that contributes, out of the equation. Just once be disallowed to see the one you sleep in the same bed with, just because somebody else says it shouldn’t be allowed. Bottom line: put the shoe on the other foot, and see how quickly one might change their mind for us gays who just want to be accepted in the rest of society.

~Written by: George

Dating Profile Pet Peeves

They say that 80% of all relationships form now online. I believe it! Over the years I've seen the growth in online gay dating sites and now dating apps right on your smart phone. Most gay men today use these sites to either meet that special someone, meet friends, hookups, networking, and just to chat. Checking your messages on these sites have now become as common as checking your email. It's an everyday thing.
I use the term "gay dating sites" loosely because most gay men don't even know what real dating is! They use the term "dating" as a another word for hooking up and nothing more. With sites like Manhunt, Adam4Adam and Gay.com discreetly meeting men has become relatively easy. With smart phone apps like Grindr and Jack'd, technology has put gaydar right in your pocket.

Grindr has lead the way it is the largest all male location-based mobile network tool for Android, iPhone, iPod touch, iPad and BlackBerry! Unlike traditional website for dating or social networking, Grindr and Jack'd are meant to be mobile. They use the GPS technology in your mobile device to instantly locate guys in your area. Sounds a little scary doesn't it? Especially when it says that someone is 5 feet away from you. It makes stalking someone a hell of a lot easier! You call it stalking, I call it intense research on a certain individual. These smart phone apps have replaced the personal hello with private messaging someone whom may only be a couple feet away from you. Guys use it to "break the ice." Hellos have been replaced with dick pics and "you're hot" greetings.

For whatever reason you use gay dating sites or apps there should be a form of etiquette to follow. I've chatted/interviewed people and these are their biggest dating profile pet peeves.

  •A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words
It's 2011 people if you don't have a picture in your profile, what's wrong with you!? Knockers says "Nothings annoys me more if they don't have a face pic or any pic for that matter!" If you're using a mobile app there's a freaking camera attached to your phone! Not having a picture is not an excuse anymore.

I know there are times when you don't want to show your face, that's why there's always a sea of headless torsos, but it's polite to at least send or unlock a photo if you're interested in someone. Another pet peeve I find so annoying is when someone asks for a face pic and they don't even have one posted or it's just a body shot. Don't ask for a picture unless you send one first.

Having recent photos is always best. I personally say don't use a photo that is more than few years old. When you do actually plan to meet up you wouldn't like a guy showing up at your door looking nothing like his photo and neither does your potential date. Always, ALWAYS use a picture of yourself. No fakes, please.

  •I'm Just Looking For Friends, Wanna Fuck?
We've all seen this before. You ask someone what they are looking for exactly and they say, "just friends" and then they try to remove your underwear with their teeth. I don't know about you, but I don't play like that with my friends. A common phrase is "I don't just hookup." or "I really don't hook up." Many guys love to say they never hookup, some actually don't, but some by the end of the first date they are often doing just that with their legs up in the air and a smile on their face. Kile said he can't stand when profiles say "Looking for a long term relationships or friendships," Then sending a message like, "Let me suck your dick!" Be honest with what you are looking for. If you want friends, fine. If you're looking for a relationship, fine. If you're a slutty male escort with a huge cock, fine. If you wanna bump uglies behind Red Robin, fine. Just be honest on your profile and with yourself.

•Listing All The Things I Don't Want And All The Things I Do. We all have preferences yes, but when does it go too far? Out of all the pet peeves this one has everyone's panties twisted. Too many people are focused on what they think their ideal partner, friend or hookup should be, they let potentially awesome guys slip away because they don't fit their citeria of hot. Tristan agrees, "I get irritated when they use any part of the limited space in a profile to exclude people and be rude. "Nobody over 40! No black guys!" and the like. Sorry kid, you don't get enough email to require a personal assistant. Get over yourself and realize that you've shut off a potentially very big group of interesting people. The one that I guess does bug me is the vague negative, ie "Get away disgusting old guys." Only because the definition of old is VERY vague. So if I'm any older than you at all, I'm not gonna bother saying hi." Which I have to add is a shame because Tristan is one of nicest and most respectful people I know. He is a gem in a beach full of sand.

Douchebagsofgrindr.com

One of my Twitter followers stated, "I hate when guys just put what they're NOT looking for, and the list is really long. Judgemental much?!" Bobby feels the same way and adds, "When guys put no Fats/Fems" it annoys me because they are already starting out on a negative note, like they are better then these people! They are putting it right out there, and doing it in a derogatory manner. I also hate the "Be Masc" guess what boys? You're looking to have sex with/date/cuddle/kiss a guy, some people might not consider that overly masculine!" Bobby's right that's not really "straight acting" is it? When a gay guy tells me he is "straight acting" I always say, "so you suck dick and pretend to hate it? I never went to that acting school."
Douchebagsofgrindr.com

This pet peeve is so popular that it even fueled the creation of the site www.douchebagsofgrindr.com, where you can find "All your douchebag needs from the profiles of Grindr." The site features profiles of guys from Grindr being complete assholes. From guys being racists to arrogant they all are featured here.
Douchebagsofgrindr.com

I don't know which is more entertaining the profiles from Grindr itself or the comments people leave for the douchebags. Either way there is a lesson to be learned from this website. There's enough bigots out there. Why as an LGBT community must we behave this way amongst ourselves? Don't we receive enough hate from the world? You can say what you are looking for without being a douchebag.
•Age is Just A Number, Right?
If people say you look 23, but you're really 33, guess what honey you're not 23! Don't lie about your age. No one wants to be lied to. Just be honest. If the Twink thinks you are too old, then they are missing out on a great opportunity. It is totally their loss! If you're chasing after someone whom is extremely younger than you perhaps there are bigger issues at play here. Sometimes older men feel the need to lie about their age because:
1) They have a fear of getting older and want to remain that Peter Pan playing with his lost boys forever.
2) They feel that the younger gay men won't be into them ie "No old disgusting guys!" so they lie about their age to make themselves more appealing.

I am a firm believer in "age is just a number" to a point! If you are just looking for a friend or a hookup then who really cares how old the person is. My biggest pet peeve is when older gay men continuously chase after younger gay men for relationships. The younger guy hasn't even experienced life yet and you want to tie him down because that's what you're into. No wonder it doesn't work out or he isn't interested. It's extremely common for guys in their 40's to chase after the gay Twink crowd 18-23. You're old enough to be their father and yet you're shocked when it doesn't work out? I believe in the 10 year rule. I'm 32 so I usually won't date anyone younger than 22 or older than 42. Of course there's always exceptions to this rule. Don't let an awesome guy slip away. It's just a guideline I use, but I'll never put in my profiles "no oldies" it's rude. I have friends of all ages. But in terms of dating, I feel anyone ten years older or younger than me will not have things in common with me. If you're 40 chasing only after 20 year olds wondering why you aren't having any luck, perhaps it is time you wake up and smell the hemorrhoid cream, because chances are, that 20 year old doesn't need it.

  •Skanks, Sluts, And Whores
Gay dating sites can be very frustrating for those guys that truly want to meet someone worth wild. A Twitter follower states, "Gay men never seem to wanna settle, just hookup." I told him to hang in there and not everyone is like that, but I feel his pain. Most dating sites have become easier ways to find guys to hookup with. Like Bobby says, "Why do so many have that Pinocchio complex they all want no strings attached." For those of you that just want to use these sites for hooking up, that's fine. But don't be nasty to the ones that turn you down or continue to harass them after they have said no.

Kevin hates it when guys on apps like Grindr don't even start up a normal conversation they just ask for sex or send dick pics right away. Kevin said, "You know me, I'm known to be a complete asshole to the skanks!" I know what you're thinking hello pot, meet kettle, but even Kevin would like a normal conservation and at least an introduction first before licking your balls with his huge tongue. I told Kevin, "You are just threatened and don't want to be out skanked!" He laughed. Knockers states, "I know most use it for hooking up, but when u get a message like "when are you free?" it's really annoying." Again it all comes down to being honest with what you are looking for. If you're just looking for hookups clearly state that in your profile. If you want something serious or just friends clearly state that. And for all you hookeruppers if you see on someone's profile they aren't into hookups then why are you messaging them asking for it in the first place?

•Be RespectfulYou'll be surprised on how far politeness will actually get you, whether it's just chatting or meeting for the first time. Apparently a huge pet peeve is the "no response." Picture it, you see the man of your dreams on Adam4Adam. You can totally picture buying some cats and furniture from ikea together. His profile is perfect. He is into bondage and latex too! You private message him and get no response at all. Maybe he is um tied up, but most likely he just ignored you. Dylan said, "I can't stand it when guys just delete a message without replying back. Just say you aren't interested." Bobby says he sees this all the time and it's one of his biggest pet peeves. "When their profile reads 'Say something more than "Hi" or "Hey", be original"... Most of the men on these sites see a message from someone and without thinking twice they close/delete the message like it never happened. I refuse to put any effort into an opening greeting when chances are, they are just going to ignorantly close the message as soon as they feel my picture isn't deemed worthy of their time. If its too much trouble for a guy to say "hello" back to me then he has probably saved us both time and energy because I wouldn't be interested in a guy who starts out on that foot."

•I Have A Boyfriend
If you're in a monogamous loving relationship then why do you have a profile on a dating site? Unless you're in an open relationship or looking for a third to join in with you and your hunny, you shouldn't be on a gay dating site. I have seen and know for a fact that these sites create nothing but problems for so called happy couples! They can create drama where there doesn't need to be drama. Why are you going to risk your relationship just to chat with the jockboy who is hung like horse? I've seen relationships form because of gay dating sites, but I have also seen relationships destroyed because of them. These sites are suppose to mainly cater towards single men. I hate when they use the excuse that they are just looking for friends. If that's the case then I believe Facebook would be a better option for you. At least there you can't send dick pics back and forth to each other. So I urge you, if you are truly happy in your relationship delete all your dating site profiles. If your partner doesn't know about them, he will. If you don't think he won't find out about the conversations you've had or the activities you've done on the sites, he will. Either he will find out on his own or someone you've been talking too will tell him. Some people love to create problems for people in relationships don't give them the ammo.

•Have FunApps like Grindr were created to be fun and provide a way to meet new and interesting people easier. So with that being said, have fun with it! For whatever reason you use gay dating sites that's really your prerogative. They may not lead to the love of your life, or even a hookup, but you may find a friend or someone interesting to talk too. Remember to always play safe if you meet and use your head not your penis. Bad decisions today could lead to heartbreak and regret tomorrow.

So what do you do when you actually get that first date? Check out the post Dating Etiquette for more tips.

I Now Pronounce You Fag Stag & Fag Hag...

...You may kiss the hag and make gaybies. Ok, well that's not exactly what Katie's Aunt said as she preformed the wedding ceremony, but I'm sure it was close. I was hoping for a sexually confused and frustrated priest to do the wedding. Perhaps the Bride and Groom thought bringing a priest in a room full of homos was a bad idea. I can just see it now: "Excuse me father for I have sinned. I know not what I do. Hey you look familiar! My Christiansingles.com username is ChoirBoi69. Are you HungPriest4u or FatherMybackdoor?" Yeah I'm going to hell. Blah, blah, blah I'll save you a seat. Bring sunblock.

I was invited to Katie and Matthew's wedding. I of course brought Kevin as my guest. He is always my wedding date for two reasons; 1. He is bound to do something stupid or funny and I need entertainment incase the wedding is boring. 2. He never lets my glassful of liquor get low. Kevin arrived at my house around 3 in afternoon on Saturday. He wasn't dressed or ready to go and smelt like vodka hardcore. All I could smell was his cologne and vodka. This must be what the cast of the Jersey Shore smells like. Kevin was out at a party the night before and it was obvious he had a late night. I suppose I should have expected his disheveled appearance because I did receive a drunk text message at 4:30am saying, "I got a vibrator!!!!!"

On our way to the joyous occasion I inquired about Kevin's buzz buzz adventures the night before. Kevin said him and Lynn were at a party at their straight married friends. It was a birthday party for their hot DILF (Daddy I'd to Fuck) friend. The wife was the one that brought out the vibrator and everyone was playing with it. (For some reason I picture the game "Hot Potato," but with a vibrator.) Kevin said, "It's not as bad as it sounds. Nothing went in my mouth or in my ass! Just alittle over the clothes vibes. Oh and I took it!" I looked at him laughing and said, "WHAT!? You stole the vibrator? You sick klepto!" He laughed, "Yeah, I even put fresh batteries in it this morning because we wore the fucker out last night. I realized this morning that she probably didn't wash it and I probably had vag juice all over my hands! Here smell." He puts his fingers in front my nose and mouth. "You are so disgusting! I can't believe you took it. I'm sure she didn't wash it with antibacterial soap or put it in the dishwasher before letting you guys play with it." I screamed! Kevin just laughed and said "Yeah, I'm probably gonna regift it and give it to you haha." AND scene!
Because of the rain the wedding and reception was held inside in one big room. It's shame it rained because the landscape of Willow Tree Grove was actually very pretty, but then again isn't rain on your wedding day suppose to be good luck?

It was pouring when we arrived and by the time we walked into the building I was wetter than a gay daddy at a Justin Beiber concert. The wedding was filled with gays and conveniently the majority of us were seated at tables 6 and 9. Unfortunately our table was also the table that Kevin's Ex and his Partner were sitting at and also Harold whom called Kevin a slut the weekend before. (HapPENIS) Yeah this is going to be interesting.

  The thin paper number 9 was the only thing blocking Kevin's view of The Ex and his Partner. In an effort to distract himself Kevin turned to scoping out other guys. He liked the photographer a lot and said, "I'd totally L his Bs! He's so hot!" Hmm and we wonder why Harold called him a slut. The photographer of course was older with a nice body tone, bald and married! (Well he had a band on his finger so I assumed he was.) He was attractive but he did resemble The Ex a little too much. I swear Kevin is attracted to this type, like flies on shit. When I pointed out to Kevin that the guy was probably straight and married he said, "It doesn't count then." and licked his lips. Typical Kevin response.

The best man was my friend Allan and he's how Katie and Matthew got introduced. Katie is friends with Harold and Matthew is best friends with Allan so their paths were bound to cross eventually. To think the fags brought this union together. See we support straight marriages, why can't gays get the same in return? Just think who's gonna do your hair, make up and not to mention probably design the dress...The gays! Katie, the bride of course was beautiful and I would consider her a Fag Hag for sure. Matthew is a real Fag Stag he even loves our music and is comfortable in gay clubs.

I met Matthew about 9 or 10 years ago. I went with him and Allan to Texas to visit Allan's Dad Frank. Who just so happens to be gay as well. See the fruit really doesn't fall far from the tree. What I didn't know was the only reason I was invited was because Allan was trying to hook me up with his father! Allan's dad Frank of course is just as crude as Allan is. Like father, like son. Frank blatantly told me he wanted to fuck me but after I had made it clear I wasn't interested he backed off. To this day though when he is in town he still makes passes at me and asks me to move to Texas to live with him. I guess I made an impression. He even tried hooking me up with Allan a few times and calls me "son."

  When we were in Texas we visited San Antonio and spent the day on The River Walk. It was like being in another country, very pretty. After a night out at some clubs Frank, Matthew and I went back to the hotel. Allan stayed out trolling for twinks. I slept in Matthew's bed because he didn't want Allan coming back all sloppy drunk and being touchy and I didn't want Frank to get any ideas. I remember Allan waking me up at 4 am trying to push me out of the bed because he didn't want to sleep in the same bed as his father. I didn't budge! The next morning I woke up with arms wrapped around me and something poking me in the back. Matthew was spooning with me and I could feel his morning wood! He woke up and was startled for a second like he forgot where he was. He apologized for "invading my space" and said he was used to sleeping and cuddling with his girlfriend who apparently has a petite body type like I do. We still joke about it now. In fact when I met Katie I told her Matthew was a good cuddler and I highly recommended him. Perhaps it was a good thing I didn't give the toast. "Yeah Matthew remember that time your boner was poking me in back and that time I motorboated Katie?"

The wedding was fun despite our sitting arrangements. It seemed like after eating everyone at our table dispersed. It also helped it was an open bar and trust me we took full advantage of that. Even the bride told us to drink more. Hey we had permission! The Ex's Partner was being especially nice to Kevin. Kevin asked me why and my opinion was because he knew he had won. Kevin looked at me and said, "What do you mean he won?" I said, "Well, The Ex didn't leave him for you. They are still together, so technically he did win." You know what they always say, "Keep your friends close, but you enemies closer."

  All these weddings I've gone to really make me wanna have one of my own. I just need to find the groom. I did suggest to Kevin that perhaps him and I get married for all the presents. Could you just imagine my bridal registry? I swear gay weddings would help the economy! We love to party and we love shiny and over the top shit! If only everyone could see that.

Kevin said we could get married only if he could sleep with other guys. Hell, that's practically considered a real gay relationship anyways! I do really want that new toaster and coffee maker, but I'd rather have a monogamous relationship.Congratulations and best wishes to the happy couple.


CLICK HERE TO FCKH8!

It's Complicated

"It's complicated" We've all heard those words before. Couples say it when going through a difficult time in their relationship or perhaps they are getting involved with someone and they're not sure where they stand. Even Facebook has a relationship status option for this. So why is "it's complicated" become an acceptable way of defining ones relationship with another person? I have even said these words. The funny thing is when people ask you if you're single and you reply with "it's complicated" they tend to not ask further questions. Even though, "it's complicated" covers a wide spectrum of problems people usually don't want to get involved in your drama and shut up.

This past weekend was Kevin's birthday. He turned 23. (Happy Birthday you skank!) My little hairy twink is growing up! He's becoming an otter now, but if he keeps eating all those hoagies he'll end up in cub status in no time! Look out bears!

I had invited a group of people to meet us out for his birthday, but before we went out he had some news to tell me. Kevin went out on a date with that guy he had met the previous weekend. (You know the one he made out with for over an hour. Rumor Has It post. We'll call him Nate.) Nate ended up taking Kevin out to a nice dinner and they had a good time. Kevin was texting me every time Nate went to the Bathroom. (Nate apparently went to the bathroom a few times there, maybe he was doing lines. "Hunny you got alittle white powder on your nose.") Kevin said, "I really like him but we are at that 'I already sucked your face what do we talk about now' phase." I told him that some small talk is best like, what do you do, hobbies, interests, family etc. Are you a serial killer? Do you do inappropriate things with gerbils? What's your bank account number? You know, 'the getting to know you' stuff. Kevin called me after the date and it turns out towards the end of the Date, Nate said he had something to confess. He told Kevin he is still kind of involved with someone (they live together) and it's complicated.
There's those dreaded two words again. If you're on the other end of those words it's rather disappointing. I could hear the disappointment in Kevin's voice. Kevin said, "It's the whole Ex situation all over again. This is just my luck! Why do I attract these unhappily married gay men?" History sure is repeating itself. (Read 'Bad Decisions' post for some back story on Kevin and The Ex) Truth be told I believe the reason why Kevin attracts them is because he himself is a happy person. He is a riot! He constantly does and says hilariously stupid things. I can see someone whom is currently unsatisfied with their situation to attach themselves to Kevin like a hemorrhoid.

Kevin told me he saw Nate again Thursday night. He ended up showing up at the straight bar Kevin and his college friends went to. (um stalker) Kevin said it was kind of a casual friend thing, but later on I found out from Bethany (she was there) that it wasn't all that casual. There was a bit of closeness, flirtations, and stealing kisses. Um yeah that's casual! Bethany told me that she told Kevin he shouldn't get involved with a guy who's in a relationship again! No matter how complicated and unhappy he is. She said Kevin agreed and said they're just friends nothing more.
Friday night was fun alot of people showed up for Kevin's birthday. Which helped me out because then I didn't need to buy the lush all his drinks. We started out at Candida's. Andy and Brett showed up. It was good to see Andy. I hadn't seen him in awhile we still chat weekly though and he does periodically check up on me to see how I am. Andy had the DJ announce Kevin's birthday and put his name up on the big screen. When I said to him, "Could you be any cuter right now?" he smiled big and turned like 5 shades red. Brett is super nice he bought us all shots. I really am happy for Andy and I hope it continues. Bobby and Tina of course were a riot. Bobby with his shiny plump DSLs looking for his next romantic interest. And for such a little girl Tina has a ghetto black lady ass. I swear I could have practically sat on it. It's like a bookshelf! Daddylicious was there with Ken Doll. Bobby noticed that when Daddy is with Ken he doesn't pay much attention to Kevin. (He usually tries to make out with him or playfully grabs him.) I still think Daddy must have feelings for Ken. All signs point to yes. We don't need a magic 8 ball for that.
As I'm talking to Kevin, Nate walks through the door. At this point I'm thinking wow he is totally following Kevin around. For someone I have never ever seen before expect for last weekend he certainly is popping up a lot here. I was chatting with Tina and when I turned around there was Kevin and Nate at a table in the corner being all close. Yeah just friends my ass. I told Tina the situation and she said "Oh it totally looks like they are gonna make out." I looked at her and said, "Yeah looks like bad decisions in the making tonight!" Some of the gang was heading over to the Stonewall. Allan was already there waiting for us, Harold apparently is dating a drag queen that was performing there and of course Nate wanted to go as well.
After saying our goodbyes to the party pooppers that decided to stay at Candida's we were off. Nate was waiting for us, well for Kevin by the door to the Stonewall. He looked eager, like a dog that just got a new bone. After about 30 minutes of being there, things heated up a bit between Kevin and Nate. There was some kissing, cock grabbing and closeness. Yeah just a friend level! (Sarcasm) I don't grab my friend's cocks, oh wait! I do, but it's always in a nonsexual, gay handshake, "hello there" kind of way! I did put a stop to it because Kevin was really drunk and I didn't want him to regret it later. Kevin being close with Nate like that, states he accepted Nate's situation even though he does not.

So what is Kevin going to do? It is hard when you are attracted to someone and they have this kind of complication. Years ago I really liked this one guy, but he was in a relationship. They had an open relationship so I could have totally gotten on that pork sword, but I didn't. It went against what I believed in and I wouldn't have been happy with myself. It was hard though to say no to getting attention from someone you like. My advice to Kevin was to talk to Nate. Set some boundaries and tell him about the situation Kevin was previously in. That way Nate understands why Kevin is leery. Ultimately it's not fair to be someones trick on the side.

When I ask Bobby what his opinion of the whole issue was he had this to say, "I think men who have boyfriends or husbands and use it's complicated as an excuse, just want to be promiscuous. It's really very simple. If you are with someone you're with them, if you are single then you're single. End of story. Guys that stay in these bad relationships and fool around with other people is yet another way gay men get a bad name." Bobby is right it really is that simple. So what do you do if you're in a "It's Complicated" relationship? Well you really only have two choices; Stay in it and be unhappy or get out and move on. People stay together for many reasons; afraid of being alone, financial issues, sharing a property together and because you do still love them. James and Sean are celebrating their 4th year anniversary together this month (Congratulations boys! I love you!) They both came from really bad relationships before they met each other. Now I know there situation is unique, but it does show that if you are really unhappy, and get out, there's a happier future possibly waiting! Remember "after a hurricane comes a rainbow!"

Here's some statistics I found. Keep these in mind the next time you're talking to guy on Grindr, a social networking, or personals site.
-35% of men who use a personal site for dating are already involved in a relationship or married.
-33% of men report having sex outside of their regular relationship in this past year.
-Only 25% of people in the world report that they are 100% monogamous.

Monogamy

Can you ever be satisfied by one man or does it take multiple people to fill your needs? This is a question I've been trying to find an answer for. It seems that in a gay relationship monogamy is about as rare as a virgin on prom night. It's funny, I have so many friends in relationships, but there's only a handful of couples that do not "play." Is this a requirement in order to be in a gay relationship? One must "play" well with others!?

Over the weekend I was at a birthday party for my good friend Steve. His husband, Bill threw it for him. They've been together for at least 11 years and when you look at them you can tell they love each other. Steve and Bill are one of those couples that likes to "play." They mostly invite a "third" into the bedroom, but are also known to hook up with people alone as long as the other one knows about it. Most gay relationships work this way it's called an "Open Relationship."

A close friend of mine experienced the playful wrath of Steve over the weekend. Steve grabbed my friend Bobby and dragged him into a room while Steve's boyfriend Bill was entertaining company by the pool. When Steve and Bobby emerged from the dark room, Bobby looked like a deer caught in headlights while Steve looked liked he just ate a Willy Wonka Chocolate Bar. I know for a fact that this behavior "goes down" (haha) every party Steve and Bill throw.

While we were at the party Kevin was flirting with a nice piece of yummy man pie. I observed their behavior (kinda like the discovery Channel) until the man pie's boyfriend came and dragged him away. He then later came back over to Kevin and tried to pick up where they left off. Kevin said to him, "Don't you have a boyfriend?" Man pie responded with, "Yeah, so?" This party reassured my theory that monogamy is quickly becoming an endangered species. Even though Kevin is known to hook up with random guys and "straight" guys even he felt like this was wrong.

Someone once told me that his open relationship was the best of both worlds. He could have sex with as many twinks as he liked and then come home to his best friend, where he felt emotionally safe and connected. Open relationships must work for some people. Most of my couple friends who have this kind of deal have been together for a long time. When all is said and done though it's not for me. I refuse to share my toys with anyone else! This Cinderella is waiting for "her" Prince Charming who wants a monogamist relationship.