Touched For The Very First Time

Below is a collection of first time gay sexual experiences.

Kevin's story:
"My first gay experience came a couple weeks after my High School graduation. Some kid from my class had a roommate he lived with in Bethlehem. It just so happened that his roommate was gay. This kid then set us up on a date. The gay roommate was black, and he was one of the first other gay people I had ever met. I took a chance and went to his place. I didn't have a car yet so my mom had to drive me there. Anyway we walked around town for a while then we went back to his place and started watching Will and Grace. I had never seen it before. As we watched TV he makes his moves and I give in of course. Next thing you know we are 69ing on his bed! He continued to give me head and I finally blew my load in his mouth. He wasn't a swallower, so he spit it into a can, in which he also kept his change in. Whatever happened with that change I don't know.

I call my mom who is on her way to pick me up and before I leave he throws me on the bed, pulls down my pants and just goes to town again!!! It was an experience I will never forget and the only black guy I was ever with."

  Bobby's story:
"When I was 17 I had just joined one of the online gay dating/hookup sites. I was working at a local grocery store at the time. One guy, a few years older than me had seen me cashiering there, and then messaged me online. He began to talk to me for about 2 months online. I started to recognize him when he came food shopping and even began speaking with him in person when he started coming through my checkout line.

Soon after we started speaking in person. He invited me over to his place one night after I got out of work. His parents were out of town and he knew I had absolutely no experience with guys (and being a gold star gay, no experience with girls either!), it wasnt a date. I was going for the pure reason to hookup with him. I was so nervous because I had to tell my mom some made up story about where I was going after work. I went to his house and I was shaking the entire time, even when we were sitting on the couch. He put his head on my chest/shoulder he could hear my heart pounding. Soon I was making out with him, and feeling him all over, clothes were coming off at this point. The one problem that I clearly remember is that we both wanted to do things to the other one more than getting things done to us (both givers, what can I tell you). So we kept pulling each other off of one another. He was very well hung so naturally I was drawn to it the entire time we were hooking up.

To this day he was probably the best head I have ever recieved, he had very pouty lips (very similair to mine, which I know contributed to his amazing ability). I was very nervous and couldn't hold out as long as I wanted too. He shot soon after me and I was exhausted from my new and exciting experience.

When all was said and done, I have to admit, I didnt really like it (at first). I think because it was all so new and I had no idea what I was doing. But I will never forget my first time. I hooked up with him now and then over the years, but very sporadically and we still keep in touch a little to this day."

  George's story:
"My first gay sexual experience occurred in college. I was a junior, and the guy I was dating was a freshman. We were each other's first (of any gender). Everything was a progressive step forward. We never got as far as home plate on the base pads, we got to 3rd base. You know, I don't even know how the bases are allocated for the gays. I guess it goes: french, jerk off, suck, fuck Anyway, I'm digressing.
Each night we were together our hands ventured further down the bodies until "oops, I found a penis". He always made the first move, he was the first one to reach his hands into unknown territory. I of course let him. Who was I to argue. This all happened in a dorm room, where I was one of the Resident Assistants, so at any moment my door could be knocked on or the phone could ring (which actually happened once).
He was out like a fat kid playing dodgeball, whereas I was still pretty much in the closet, minus telling a very few select friends. So each time hands ventured into mysterious places. It was all intimate, and comfortable. And I think it helped that we both had no idea what we were doing, we both learned together. "Don't worry I've done this before" was not part of the conversation. One night we ventured down there, and I don't remember if juices flew or not, but at least we got a look at the goods. Then another night it was 2nd base, each of us jerked the other one off. He was kinda picky with cum, he wouldn't swallow. Me, haha, I have no problem swallowing! Then of course the next night we were together we went down on each other, made each other cum, of course he didn't swallow, but it was very affectionate. Later experiences, we tried different positions, nothing terribly kinky, but it was great to explore with someone, and it meant even more knowing he was exploring too.

Now the first anal experience I had, wasn't that. Remember those M4M chat rooms on AOL back in the day? I met a guy on there, and went to his place. First night we only did oral, I had NO idea about anal sex. Didn't know how to prepare, totally oblivious to it. He wanted to fuck me, but I said no, and he was cool with that. I was 22 at the time, and he was 29. I can't quite remember what I did to prep myself for getting fucked. I pretty much determined that I'd be a bottom. I've topped for 2 people ever, the rest on the receiving end. But I did a couple of things to "get ready" for the act, and it seemed to work, and still use it to this day.

Tuesday nights were the unofficial "gay night" at The Ugly Oyster in Reading, and I ventured out quite a bit. So I was at the bar and the same guy I hooked up with was there, and I eyed him from the other side of the bar. Blah blah blah he mouthed that "I'm gonna go [home]" and I followed him out of the bar into the parking lot. He asked if I wanted to come over and "hang out", so I followed him home. Obviously we did more than listen to records, and I let him fuck me. BIG mistake!!! Why? Cuz he was HUGE. Probably about 9 inches, and thick. I know it hurt going in, and of course I had to pick the guy that could go hours before cumming. And he did! Might I say BEST SEX EVER!!! But the next day, I could barely walk, and every time I coughed my insides hurt. Even when I pissed it hurt. I thought I was gonna die. But I got with him about 4 more times after that, still the BEST SEX EVER!!"

Derek's story:"This is the very awkward story of how I lost my innocence! One night at a local bar I was just hanging out with some friends having a gin and tonic. It was the summer of 2009 and I had just graduated college. Pretty carefree and single I was looking at some eye candy.

I was talking to this one guy who found me interesting, but I cannot say I returned the interest. So as the night goes on people begin to exit the bar and my friends decide they want to leave. At this time it's about midnight and I convince them to have one more drink before we depart. Right when I convince these gents to stay, the clouds open and god smiled...well at least I thought she did...

We ordered our drinks and then this older gentleman comes up to me (probably about 35) and tells me that although he thinks I am adorable, his friend has been eyeing me up all night! He said he was shy and he wanted to meet me. So I told him I would go to the bathroom and then he could introduce me to his friend. Of course I went to freshen up and then when I came out this gorgeous man in his mid thirties was shaking my hand and was completely into me. I was floored! He was well built, in great shape, and had a touch of salt and pepper in his hair. We talked and exchanged numbers that night. When I returned to my car he asked me to meet him at his apartment to hangout, but I told him it was too late and I wasn't that kind of gurl. I suggested a movie night and dinner. He then invited me over the next day.

What happened next is one of the most embarrassing and shameful moments I have had in my entire gay experience. I drove over with the anticipation of having a date and left wounded and full of regret!
When I arrived I should have known something was going to happen. I was escorted up to his apartment and he was so full of compliments that he had me in the palm of his hand. His apartment was pretty barren and he said it was because he had just moved here. If we wanted to watch a movie I was told we would have to watch it in his bedroom. I was swooning and cannot even tell you what movie we watched. We started cuddling and making out almost immediately! What happened next still shocks me.

In what felt like one quick swoop, all of my clothes were off and we were lying on his bed. Things got very hot and heavy! He suggested that I close my eyes and when I did I was handcuffed to the bed. The feeling of pleasure left my body and I was filled with extreme dread and regret! I was completely in over my head!

He then began to lube up and put on a condom. I warned him that it was my first time, but even what might have felt like a full voiced warning probably came out as a meek whisper. As he forcefully entered me I began to scream, sweat, and pant in pain. I do not remember what happened during. Emotionally I think I have blocked it out and all I remember is him sliding out of me and panting next to me.

  Next he un-handcuffed me and I slumped into his bed. He exchanged some pleasantries about how enjoyable he thought it was and I forced a smile through my lips. Assuming that after that I would spend the night I laid down and began to get comfortable. He asked if I wouldn't mind going home because it was late. I got dressed in silence and excused myself. I heard from him a few days later when he asked if I would come over, I never responded.

Now that I am older I take this as a learning experience. I am very lucky that I was at least with someone who wore protection, but as a young gay male....I was a stereotype and most importantly an idiot. I want people to hear this story in the hope that they will be smart and never go home with someone they do not know. Although sex is a desire, it can also be a very intimate moment shared between two people who care about eachother! This is what I have learned and hope to teach!"


Remember no glove, no love. Be safe everyone and for god sakes make good decisions.
For my first time story please see the post Like A Virgin
If you would like to share your first time experience here please EMAIL ME or click on the blue comment link below.

HapPENIS

It's probably the most used pickup line among gay men, "Are you a top or a bottom?" Frankly it's not even a good pickup line. It's not funny or witty. It doesn't make me wanna have sex with you or even talk to you. The only way this pickup line works is if the guy is DTF (Down To Fuck) and I guess because the gay community is filled with cock hungry whores that's why it works on some. I on the other hand need something a tad more witty in order for it to work on me. Something like, "If you were a potato chip and I were a battery, you'd be Frito~Lay and I'd be EveryReady!" That would definitely get my attention, cheesy as it sounds.If you're unfamiliar with the gay terms top or bottom you must live under a rock. A top is the 'active partner' or anal insertive (giver) and a bottom is more the 'passive partner' or anal receptive.

Most people assume that a top gets all the pleasure and the bottom is merely just a tight little hole for him pound to away on. This is untrue. Both positions/practices create sensations for both parties. An anal orgasm that a bottom experiences is rather unique. It can occur with or without ejaculation. Sometimes NO stimulation of the actual penis is required to reach an orgasm and it can be rather intense. For all you straight women reading this, if you ever stuck your finger in your boyfriends booty during sex and he exploded everywhere, you kinda know what I'm talking about. Nothing like 'ropes of cum' on the ceiling and wall. Top and bottom is more than just being sexual positions or roles. It's more than being assertive or passive. It has to do with a state of mind, but has it gone to far? I recently read an article about a study done on gay men and their sexual behavior. The article asked the question, "Does penis size determine if you are a top or a bottom and does the size of a man's penis determine if he is happy?" This has created some heated debate among the homos. The study conducted had questionable findings. Can the size of a man's penis really affect his sexual health?

The actual study was called, "The Association between Penis Size and Sexual Health among Men Who Have Sex with Men," it was launched by the National Institute of Health. They studied just over a thousand gay men and this is their findings:

1. Gay men who felt they had small or inadequate penis sizes were more likely to become "bottoms," while gay men with larger penises were more likely to identify themselves as "tops."

2. Men with smaller penises were more likely to be psychologically troubled than those with larger genitalia. The goal of the study was to understand the "real individual-level consequences of living in a penis-centered society."

Do you think their findings are accurate? I decided to do my own little study among gay men in my circle and complete strangers. (I love asking strangers about their junk. Cue: uncomfortable silences) I wanted to determine if this was really as important as the National Institute of Health make it out to be. Here is what some of my friends had to say:
Tristan said, "I am totally irritated by the whole top/bottom role business. If the bigger cock is the top, I'll bet that's related more to one time hookups than anything else. It doesn't make sense to me that a size comparison would matter. To be honest, it probably has more to do with whether one person is a germ freak or not. There's been a lot of times when I don't top because it involves putting a valuable part of my anatomy into an asshole!" I bet some of those guys were actual assholes too!

James said, "This study is false. I've had 2 serious relationships and I was the larger in both and I've played both roles. I've met quite a few very well endowed black guys who are complete bottoms, too!" Hmm black cock. Bobby said, "Although I don't have much experience with the whole top and bottom thing. I think that it is false. It's more based on personality. Whoever is the more dominant personality type is the top. In my opinion." Bobby is on to something there.

Friday night there was a Takeover Event at Bear Creek Mountain Resort and I thought that would be the perfect place to ask some guys about this top and bottom bullshit. Kevin of course usually my partner in crime accompanied me.

As we climbed the mountain in my car and we reached the top he said, "So this is a ski resort? Where's the snow?" I only think he was half kidding. Kevin and I chatted about the study and I admitted in most of my relationships and sexual experience I was usually the bottom and perhaps if I did have a larger penis maybe I would be a top more. My friend Jeffy made a great point when we talked about this, "You didn't wake up and were like "I'm gay but my cocks not big enough, so I'll just bottom! You do it because you like it." I do like the submissiveness sexually in the bottom role, but to be honest when it came to the actual emotional relationships I was more of the dominant one. I partly think this is true because of my strong personality. I need a man who can handle me emotionally. Apply within.

Kevin's thoughts on the study were actually well thought out and passionate. Here is what he had to say, "I think the whole "tops have the bigger penis size thing" is all about what people have been taught to be socially acceptable among the gay population. It's almost as though gay men have been brainwashed to think that way and that's why it has come to be the more common thing. I think alot of bottoms have been forced to abide by this, but let's just say this, "Do u think every heterosexual male has to have a big one in order to stick it in something?" No a man is a man! Every guy likes to stick their dick in something! Most gay men will just go with the flow cuz tops tend to be more controlling. This is something I actually feel strongly about in my relationships, I want both of us to be versatile. I personally do not want to be just the top or the bottom. I want to feel equal. If a guy is always a bottom and wants to try being a top I think he has the full right too! And if the top denies him this I say the bottom should withhold sex. I would certainly do that!" Kevin's approach to equality in a relationship is refreshing. I told him how much I loved his mature response and he said, "I know right? I'm like super smarticle."

Kevin's approach to the whole 'brainwash' aspect could be correct. We've always been told "bigger is better" or is it? Gay men seem to have a fetish with huge penises and even worship them as if they are attached to Jesus himself. One could say heterosexual men have a little wiggle room when they tell a woman their penis size, but gay men will get out a measuring tape and magnifying glass just to verify.

Gay men obviously know how to suck a dick well. I think it's coded in our DNA, and maybe we have practicing since birth. This just proves that happiness isn't measured by ones genitalia. Kile says, "Big cocks are for sucking and small ones are for fucking." Enough said!

There's a group of gay men that rarely or never participate in anal sex. They actually prefer only oral sex. One of my first boyfriends was actually that way. He didn't like anal sex at all and said he didn't want to infect pain on someone he cared about so he could have pleasure. Looking back at it now I think I would have been fine. My ass isn't the Grand Canyon, but I'm sure it would have accommodated him. Among my friends there are a few that prefer oral, like Bobby, George, and Kevin. They would rather slob on a pulsating knob than take a ride on the log flume. I guess in this case size doesn't matter.

  So what else happened at Bear Creek after my research was over? Kevin discovered they turn the automatic doors off at midnight because he walked right into them. (Just another thing to add to the list of things that aren't his friends such as; revolving doors, liquids, glasses, flat surfaces and any messy food in general.) I got an invitation to sit on someone's face. I did hesitate in a response because it's been such a long time but ultimately declined his offer. We also learned guys with the name "Hoyt" are cornfed and hot!

When you say "no" you get called a slut. Kevin was attacked by Harold whom wanted to hook up with him. Harold preceded to fondle Kevin I guess in an effort to entice him. It didn't work. And when Kevin refused his advices and pushed him off. Harold got mad and said, "Well why not you're a slut anyway?" I guess he thought since Kevin once slept with his friend he would have a shot, but a way to get into someone's pants is NOT to call them a slut.

  Bobby discovered confidence is a must when trying to talk to new and cute guys. He tried to follow advice he received from Dr. Stacy. (Host of the podcast 'Why You Suck In Bed' on The Glory Hole Radio Network. I've listened to them a few times and they are fabulous! Check them out.) Dr. Stacy told him to be confident and not to second guess what he wants to say. I personally did see an improvement in his overall demeanor. Bobby seemed less socially awkward than normal. Although the event did have slim pickins, I feel he made the best of it. I've always told him that "you have good things down there." He needs to hypnotize the mo's with his penis and DSLs not worry so much.

So what was my conclusion on the research? Does size matter and does it determine if someone is a top or a bottom? That study was a bunch of baloney. Of all the guys I have talked to they all said size does not determine the sexual position, their personality does. Sure bigs ones are fun to look at and maybe play with, but I'd rather have a guy with a heart than a big cock any day. Respect what you got, respect the cock!

*Remember no glove, no love. Regardless if you're the top or the bottom make sure you practice safe sex.

  Below are some more comments guys had about the study the National Institute of Health did:
"If you oppose the social pressures and allow inner confidence and attitude to rule than an average guy like me can make endowed men be my slave(s)."
"It's rubbish, I'm built like a donkey and I'm completey bonkers..."
"Gee when I was in the military I found a lot of well hung guys wanted to be penetrated by guys like me with medium to small (6 inches) penises. But we also had a tradition that the guy with the smaller pecker, which was often me, had to suck off the guy with the bigger cock. So..."
"I think the study is silly (that is to say limited) Where are the men who are NOT obsessed with anal-insertive sex? I am mostly a top, but mostly not into anal sex. The implication that queer sex MUST involve fucking, and that anything less is somehow inferior is a dictative prejudice--particularly in the time of HIV/AIDS. I like to think that I'm still around and healthy because I have not engaged in risky behavior. I don't think dick size has much to do with taking a top or bottom role in sex. I have known plenty of big-hung men who were either, or who liked both. What I have noticed about well-hung men is that they are sometimes narcissistic, unconcerned with mutual pleasure, tend to lay back to "get done," and think their big dicks warrant them some special treatment, as though they are god's gift to the rest of us. (I've also had wonderful lovers with ample endowments.)"
"Well this is one Bullshit study as are so many studies around gay men."

"I don't think dick size determines what you like but I think big guys tend to be more toppish and us little guys tend to do the bottom role."
"I love to suck cock and make it cum. I don't care if it big or small. They all get hard and cum . I will do both top or bottom and my cock is 6.5 and fat. When I bottom I like small ones, big ones hurt to much."
"If I had more than 4 inches I think I'd be more of a top, so maybe the study is correct."
"I actually am more willing to bottom for a guy with a medium or small cock. They seem to be better at hitting the spot to be honest. Although I do try for versatility in every relationship, I usually end up topping."
"The gay population should not be separated by groups, since people must adopt the sexual position which is more of their liking. With sex one obtains pleasure, it's not about what the partner prefers."
"I am 7.75" and I am a 100% bottom. I have known that I wanted to be the receptive partner since I was 8 years old, as it is what makes me feel complete."

"I'm a massive but I am very versatile. I will make you smile!"
"I do not agree with this study. Size has nothing to do with being top or bottom. It all depends on what you enjoy most. Me and my boyfriend both have almost same size penis,(7" if you are curious) but I'm the top and he is the bottom. Sometimes when I'm in a mood I like to be the bottom to please him, but unfortunately he really doesn't enjoy being top at all."
"I think the fact that guy's cocks vary so much is amazing. What causes that in genetics I wonder? I wonder if some day they will be able to make them surgically bigger like breast implants do now. I wish cause I'd pay for another inch or two."
"Perhaps, this study is true but only for the group studied. For me it all boils down to personal preference and what each man considers pleasurable. Unfortunately, it is assumptive that because one is gay, anal sex is a given. That couldn't be farther from the truth. It's a bit like saying all lesbians use dildos; another assumption that is so incorrect. I'm fairly well endowed (8+) but have met so many men with smaller penises that are total tops and are not bothered by their penis size. In my mind, it's the whole package as well, ie: to whom that penis is attached to. A big penis is great to look at but not always great to sit on! Being the bottom in anal sex is not for everyone and again boils down to preference, sexual mood or both."
"I have an incredibly thick cock and it is as much of a curse as a blessing. Many guys are afraid of the size. Those who are not usually can't take it anyway. Of course it's fun to try, but not real satisfying in the end. I have mostly been a top, but don't get many opportunities as a whole."
"I agree, I have a 4 1/2" cut penis, and always felt like a bottom, being very submissive when I'm with a top."
"It dosen't matter it depends on the person I have a 10'' cock and I like to bottom!"
"I love to be either top or bottom, but like to suck it more."
"I guess I've been more of a top in the sack, until recently when a guy I've been dating has been nailing me on a regular basis, sort of makes me regret what I've been missing..."
"I am 6 foot tall and my hard dick desparatley reaches 5inch, and when I meet guys they nail me down to be a submissive bottom, as they have the larger penises. They try to fuck me, and I have to give way. I definelty feel that dick size does matter in determining TOP or bottom."
"I have encountered many guys who like to brag about being tops, and to my surprize, those are the one who render the ass first. It is usually the quiet ones who usually surprize you with being a top. Top or bottom is such a sensitive issue in the gay community. Not so many like to admit that they like to bottom."
"I'm 9" uncut and decently thick, and I still prefer to bottom... It's all about the guys preferences really. I know quite a few guys who pack similarly and still prefer to bottom."
"I just want to have a partner in life whom will love me for the rest of his life!"

**Feel free to give your two cents. Click on the blue comment link below to leave your comments/feedback.

Question: What Am I?

What has a 30 inch waist, weighs about 165 pounds, is about 6 feet tall, wears a size 11 shoe (hello!) has short brown hair, dark brown eyes, facial hair, deep voice, very little body hair, and an above average sized penis? If you guessed Derek your answer would be correct. Feel free to lust after him now call 1-900-Gay-Derek 69¢ a minute. (just kidding)

After discussing the post Otters, & Cubs, & Bears Oh My! with Derek he posed a good question. "If you're too old to be considered a Twink, too young to be considered a Daddy and aren't hairy enough to fall under the Bear categories, then what are you? Would you be considered just gay then? That's kind of boring."
The gay universe has many different types of gay men and these men are placed in different categories. We label everything from a man's physical appearance, such as Twink, Bear, etc. to a man's sexual preference such as Top, Bottom, etc. It is said in fashion "That the label is the best part." But are the labels we place on people valued the same? If this is the case then where's my man with the Armani label!? I love me some Italian!

In my early twenties I was always called a "Twink" because I was skinny and smooth. Now that I'm in my early thirties I still kind of look like a Twink, but don't want to be called one. The label of Twink suggests immaturity and inexperience. They represent the gay newbie. The fresh fagling. Honestly I can't stand Twinks. I avoid underage/kiddie nights at bars at all cost! Derek said we need to coin a new label for the in-between Twink and Daddy crowd. If we do that are we just adding fuel to the flamer? As I have stated before, "Why can't we just be men who are attracted to other men? Why do we need to have all these labels? Wouldn't it be best to just not use any of these labels? Labels are for soup cans not for people." The whole label thing could be viewed as just fun, (as it really should be) but people do take it to the extreme. Where's the limit? How far is too far?

  Question: If we came up with a label (just for fun) for the gay in-between crowd what would we call it? How do you feel about all the gay slang labels? Do you feel we need them or are they ridiculous? Do you think these labels put a stigma on the gay community?
Please submit your answer/feedback by clicking on the blue comment link below.

Otters & Cubs & Bears Oh My!

The gay culture always seems as if they need to classify every type of male there is. From Twinks to Daddies there seems to be a category for almost every gay or bi man. One could almost ask "Why can't we just be men who are attracted to other men? Why do we have to be labeled?" But even the so called 'normal' people have to label and define absolutely everything. That's just the way it is. Labels are for soup cans not for people, but still the gay community has to define an individual or action. I think it's our effort to be more like the 'normal' people since that's what they do. One gay subculture that has a popular following and perhaps the most recognizable within the gay lifestyle is Bears.

Kevin and I ventured out to Rainbow Mountain Resort this past Saturday. As we road up the mountain in my car Kevin said, "Wow it is cooler up here. It must be because we are closer to the moon." I just looked at him and laughed hysterically. There was no words that could form to express the duhness I just heard. At last we arrived and It just so happened to be 'Bears And Chub Weekend.' The land of the hairy and chubby. This was bound to be an interesting experience considering I don't fit into the 'Bear' lifestyle and I'm not chubby, but I decided to humor it. Hey I'll try anything once and some hairy men are sexy!

So what is a Bear anyways? This isn't like Yogi and Boo Boo stealing pic-a-nic baskets. A gay Bear is looking for another type of basket. A Bear is actually a LGBT slang term. It refers to men that are homosexual and bisexual and it describes their physical body or hair appearance. Bears have hairy bodies and usually have facial hair. Most times they are heavy-set or muscular. They exude a rugged masculine aura with their grooming and behavior. Bears have this hypermasculine persona and usually only associate themselves with like minded (or guys that have the same appearance) individuals. They are the manly men of our gay world and for some are viewed as hairy gay gods. The fur lovers love to worship them. It's a fetish.

As the gay Bear community has become increasingly popular there was need for it to be subdivided into degree of hairiness or manliness. So the need for different slang terms erupted like hard a cock. Here's some of the Bear terms and related terminology.

Bears- Typically used to described heavier set overly hairy men. They often could have very large muscle body mass and may be muscular (Musclebears) or stockier (Chubbybears) in stature. Some bears have a leather or latex fetish and call themselves Leatherbears. The term bear is used to describe a hairy masculine dominant (top) male figure within a gay relationship as well.

Cub - A Cub of course is a younger (or appearance of being younger looking) version of a Bear. Usually where you find a Bear a Cub is not far behind. They usually have a smaller frame and tend to not be as big as their Bear counterpart or as aggressive. The Cub can be just as hairy as a Bear, but sometimes not hairy at all! The term Cub is used to imply the passive partner (Bottom) of a gay relationship with a Bear.

Otter- An Otter is typically a younger man, but could actually be a guy of any age who is hairy and fits the body type. Otters are not large and usually thinner. They could have a very lean build or no muscle tone at all. An Otter could actually be as hairy as a bear. The best way to describe an Otter is if you took a skinny Twink, covered him in honey, and made him roll around on the floor of a barbershop! Kevin is actually an Otter. He is a fury little beast.

Daddybear - Older Bear. This kind of Bear is looking for a daddy/son role play type relationship. They usually want this relationship with a much younger man either Cub or Twink. Daddybears are very dominant and like to ordain themselves in leather and fetish clothing.

Wolf - A Wolf is a term for a Musclebear. If Andy let all his hair grow out instead of manscaping he could be considered a Bear or a Wolf. His muscular frame is too big to be called an Otter or a Cub. I've also heard this term as reference to an older muscular Bear who is an outdoorsy or biker type.

  Polar Bear - This isn't your Coca~Cola lovable polar bear, but maybe if you're lucky his cock is as thick as a Coke can! Polar Bears are older Bears that have silver or white hair all over. They are the Silver Foxes of the Bear community.

Panda Bear - "Me fury and love you long time. Me sucky sucky on your bamboo sprout. I love cum of sum yung hung gui!" Panda Bears of course are hairy Asian men.

Bear Run - Is a gathering or circuit party for Bear types and their admirers. More gay men are identifying themselves as Bears now so more gay bars have become Bear-friendly. Some bars cater specifically to Bear patrons such as leather or western-style bars and usually have specialized events for them.

Chaser - Is usually short for "chubby chaser," which is a man whom likes overweight men and pursues them. A Chaser can also be used to describe a bear admirer since some Bears tend to be bigger or "chubbier" in size. They are also known as "Trappers" as in "bear trap." Trappers are guys attracted to and pursue Bears or other woodland creatures mentioned.

Chub – A Chub is a heavy set gay man. Usually very stocky or quite large. He may or may not be a Bear. Most times where you find Bears you find Chubs. A lot of events for Bears are also for Chubs as well.
Goldilocks - Is a Bear's Fag Hag. She is often heterosexual, who loves to frolic with her fury friends. "Who's been eating my porridge and eaten it all up?" cried Baby Bear. It's that bitch Goldilocks!

Grizzly Adams - Has two meanings he is a man who is hairy and is attracted to Bears, but doesn't feel he actually is a Bear, or any other subdivision. He could also be a straight hairy man that loves to hang out with Bears. He could be considered the Bear's Fag Stag.

Woof - Being "woofed" at is a compliment. It's a greeting used to express physical attraction towards someone you find sexy. I remember the first time Andy was "woofed" at he ask me "Boo why they making that dog noise at me? Are they calling me a dog? They think I'm ugly?" I laughed at him and when I told him what it meant all he did was smile and turn red.

Otters and Cubs and Bears oh my! I should have brought my ruby slippers "There's no place like the mall, there's no place like the mall, there's no place like the mall." That's exactly what I was thinking as Kevin and I were sitting at the bar watching a Bear walk around in his jockstrap. He wasn't hot. The crowd at Rainbow Mountain was very mixed. Some Bears, Cubs, Otters, Chubs, Twinks, and some regular mo's. There was a few guys I have no idea where they would fit in. Guys with long beards like ZZ Top and a Willie Nelson look-a-like! They were offering a free drink if you showed your fur so some Bears were shirtless and probably shouldn't have been! BUT at least they had the confidence to put it out there and besides it still looked like they were wearing a sweater vest anyways.

  When I went to the bathroom a Bear tried to pick Kevin up. He casually bumped into him to make it look like an accident. (yeah right!) He knew exactly what he was doing. He waited to approach Kevin till I was in the Bathroom. When I came back we chatted with him for a bit, he was obviously drunk and a little cute till he turned around and we realized he was wearing a dead wookiee on his back! You could have combed his body hair. Upon further observation we realized he kind of resembled our ex-boss it was rather weird.

While Kevin and I were playing forest ranger Bobby was in Philly with some other friends. He didn't run into any Bears but he did find a Chipmunk trying to get his nuts. He called me at 4 am to tell me that his squeaky enemy (see post The Deal Breakers) ended up being in the city as well and pulled a surprise attack on him. 

The Chipmunk made out with Bobby. He totally grabbed him and planted one right on him. Bobby said "You know I kinda liked it!" You know what they say Bobby is essentially the little girl in kindergarten and Chip is the bully that pulled on his pigtails, but secretly likes him. So the Chipmunk's bitchy behavior towards Bobby could be his way of saying "I wanna play with your nuts." Bobby said after the short make out session Chip scurried off somewhere. I suggest Bobby gets a rabies shot and some rodent poison.

  Kevin and I had fun with the woodland creatures, but I did not find my Winnie The Pooh Bear. I have his honey in my pot and I'm still waiting. So what's my body hair preference? Well I like alittle something to play with as long as it's in check. Well maintained body hair is sexy, but back hair and unruly body hair is not. A little manscaping never hurt anyone. I don't want any hairballs stuck in my throat. It's nice to snuggle up to your man and play with his chest hair. It just sucks when you get cum in it.

Rock Out With Your Cock Out

Ex•hi•bi•tion•ism
-noun
1. A tendency to display one's abilities or to behave in such a way as to attract attention. The act or practice of behaving so as to attract attention to oneself usually by exposing ones genitals.
2. Psychiatry- A disorder characterized especially by a compulsion to exhibit the genitals in public. A perversion in which sexual gratification is obtained from the indecent exposure of oneself (as to a stranger)

The best way to describe the first definition is to relate it to common practices and behaviors. Like for example; a girl that flashes her breasts at Mardi Gras in order to obtain Mardi Gras beads and attention from onlookers. The second definition suggests that exhibitionism is a psychological disorder. For example; indecent exposure, involves the same sorts of exposure, but done in a threatening manner or in a manner perceived by those being exposed-to as threatening. Like a male flasher whom exposes himself to women or children. (pervert) Below are various types of behavior that can be classified as exhibitionism:
Anasyrma: the lifting of the skirt when not wearing underwear, to expose genitals. (Like most female celebrities. Britney Spears, Paris Hilton etc we've all seen their pink tacos.)
Flashing: chiefly the momentary display of bare female breasts by a woman with an up-and-down lifting of the shirt and/or bra. (Like on the Girls Gone Wild videos) It can also involve the exposure of a man's or woman's genitalia. (Ew vagina! It's like a dark scary cave!) Jeffy states "Straight guys will drop trou quick in a 'I'm in an effin hurry.' Though it's usually done as a joke, not sexual. I think it depends on how comfortable the guy is."

Martymachlia: a paraphilia which involves sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act. (Like Public Sex while people are watching. See the post 'You Wanna Do It Here?')Mooning: the display of bare buttocks by pulling down of trousers and underwear. There tends to be a gendered double standard here: with straight males, the act is most often done for the sake of humor, or mockery than for sexual excitement. With females sexual arousal (or at least sexual attention) of those mooned is the intent. (Let's be honest we have all mooned someone at least once in our lives.) I'm mooning all of you right now. Yes this is my ass.

Streaking: the act of running nude through a public place. (Like sporting arenas. This is mostly done by males. Nothing like a swaying pork sword in the wind. As Nell would say "Swayin' in da win'!")Candaulism: when a person exposes his/her partner in a sexually explicit manner. (Like exposing your partners genitals in front of strangers or friends. Also by showing naked pictures of your partner to others. Either in a way to brag or to bring about sexual arousal. "My Boyfriend has a bigger cock than yours!")
I would consider most gay males to be exhibitionists. It has to do with the fact that guys in general are visional creatures. Naked bodies usually turn us on unless of course they look like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers. (But then again there's chubby chasers so I guess I can't really say that. To each their own.)

At gay bars where it's primarily men it's common for you to see a wang or two. It's like a game of peek a boo sometimes. Kevin once showed me his in the bathroom he of course was completely smashed and I told him to put it away. Also one time he showed a friend of ours his jack-off video he made on his phone. That then turned into his phone being passed around for everyone to see. One time James asked Steve what he could do in order to get out of paying his bar tab......cut to James whipping out his anaconda on the bar. Like magic our bar tab just disappeared. The bar even has wet underwear contests; where the guys that entered in it have to wear these ultra thin white boxers and are completely hosed down with water! The last wet underwear contest I saw, a big built black man won, go figure. He did look like he could rearrange someones insides.

  The world of smart phones have brought exhibitionism to new heights. On Apps like Grindr it's common practice to say hello with your penis. I can't tell you how many times that a guy has messaged me and instead of saying "Hello, How are you?" I get a dick picture. I always end up blocking them but if it's a really nice one I may save it to post on here later! Haha! (Side-note: be careful what you send me because if I don't like you I'm gonna show the world.)

The iPhone even has its own cult following of exhibitionists, the website of mostly sexy men, Guys With iPhones.

DJ Pauly D from MTV's The Jersey Shore
The website states it's "Powered by a love for hot men who appreciate the finer gadgets in life." If you go on the site you'll surely see what they mean.

Guys With IPhones features of course men with iPhones (I know duh, right) and comments that people can leave on each picture. Their only requirement to post a picture on the site is; you have to have an iPhone in the picture and there has to be a guy in the picture. Pretty much anything else goes. What's the most common picture on the site? The pic of a naked guy in his bathroom, standing in front of the mirror, holding his iPhone in one hand and letting his Yankee Doodle dangle.

Personally I love Guys With iPhones it's very entertaining. Be prepared to spend at least an hour though looking at the pictures of sexy men (laughing at the funny ones) and reading all the horny driven ridiculous comments. The comments really are the best part of it sometimes. Although most of the photo submissions aren't what you call "classy" Guys With iPhones itself makes exhibitionism classy and I will always be a viewer.

Sexting seems to be taking over lately. Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, between mobile phones. It brings exhibitionism easily to your eyes. I have sexted before with Edward and a little bit with Knockers. Recently Bobby and I discovered a new pass time I'd like to call Twexting! Twexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, through Twitter. I'll be honest I am currently Twexting with someone. I do consider this an act on exhibitionism. Even though we have never exchanged sexually explicit photographs (yet) the content of the messages is still rather exposing and attracts attention to oneself. Here's an example of a message he sent me: "Then I start pumping. Pumping that tight ass because If your gonna cum It's gonna be when I say and I say now. I pull your body even closer. I can feel your cock reacting to the friction between our bodies. And then you..." Ok that's all you're getting the rest is private but you get the idea.

  Saturday night Bobby and I went to the Takeover event at the Stonewall. They were doing a Mr. Takeover 2011 contest. It's kinda like a beauty pageant with homos. The contestants were mostly a bunch of 20 something year old Twinks with 0% body fat. Some of them looked like they desperately needed to eat a cheeseburger. I'm sorry but are we in Ethiopia? One contestant looked like he was possibly close to forty the poor soul didn't stand a chance. Bobby, Kile and I stayed upstairs as long as we could. Bobby was more content in actually watching the sports play on the tv than he was in going downstairs and witnessing this display of twinkness. Bobby, Kile, Derek and I stood back a bit from the stage. I didn't want to get to close to the stage in fear that if they opened their mouths wide enough a penis would fall out and smack me. You could call the contestants exhibitionists after all they are running around on stage in their underwear for not only a chance to win $300 but also for attention. During the underwear portion of the show some of the boys seriously looked like their mama picked out their underwear. It was like K-mart granny panty with their names written in the waist band kind of underwear. My gorgeous friend Derek and I were chatting back and forth about the show. I asked him as I lightly tug on his shirt and pull on his jeans. "So boo what ya got under there" He laughs and said, "Spanx!" So who won the Mr. Takeover Contest? As I had predicted a 20 something year old twink with 0% body fat. Ritchie (Who is actually a really nice guy.) won first place and Joshie won runner up. Apparently an "ie" at the end of your name means you're a winner! You can't tell from this picture but Ritchie is literally all ass. He has some booty on him I must say. All hail the queen of the bottoms! BUT seriously guys congratulations!

After the contest I hung out at the bar with my friend Sam (For background story on Sam please read the post 'Forty And Fabulous?') and his friend from out of town Shane. Shane was tall and good looking. He was downing hypnotic shots like they were going out of style. Sam was telling me about his sexcapades he had the night before. He said he met the guy on Grindr. (of course!) He told me the guy actually had a boyfriend. I of course yelled at Sam, "YOU just ended a relationship with someone because THEY cheated on you and here you are willingly helping someone else cheat on their boyfriend!! That is so fucked up!" He replied, "I know, I know" and continued to tell me about it anyways. Sam said he bottomed for the guy which is something he hadn't done in a long time. Sam said in his pervious relationship he was always the top (and this is where he goes on to boast) "Because I'm well endowed." At this point Sam reaches for his phone and pulls up a picture of his cock and continues to show me. I laugh at him at say, "I've seen it before. Don't you remember on your birthday you kept sending it to me saying "You know you want it!" over and over?!" He laughed and said, "No!" Shane was listening to our whole conversation. He grabbed Sam's phone and said, "Yeah you sent me a pic of that scary looking cock before. That isn't a big a cock this is." Shane pulls out his phone and pulls up a picture of his cock and shows me. Shane was right it looked bigger and was prettier. I think in an effort to get a rise out of Sam, Shane grabbed me and pulled me up close to him. He kissed me. Realizing how insanely drunk he was I pulled away, but him of course being bigger than me, I didn't have much choice. He then continued to nibble on my neck and ear lobes. I could sense Sam was getting jealous. Not a second after Shane let me go I felt someone humping me from behind. Seriously what the fuck is going on here?! I'm like a female dog in heat letting out a smell to attract these guys! It turns out it was just an extremely drunk Harold. He whispered in my ear that I should have entered the contest and kept continuing to try to hump me. I said, "How drunk are you?" His glassy eyes looked at me and said, "You think I'm drunk?" My response, "Does a bear shit in the woods?!" I think he thought possibly he was turning me on, but seriously as he tried to hump me all I felt was his beer belly rubbing up against my booty. Yeah that's really hot! (*rolls eyes)

So why are most gay men exhibitionists? As you read up above it was no problem at all for Sam and Shane to show off their Cocks and trust me I have seen many other friends as well. I believe gay men do it for the attention purposes and for the ego boost. It's the equivalent of a female showing off her boobs or posing for Play Boy. If you got it, flaunt it. Rock out with your cock out.

Sex Rules?

Andy has been kind of MIA lately. He deleted his Grindr account and no longer goes out every night. He told me he was going to "take a break" and I'm glad to see that he is. We still occasionally talk. I get those random "I miss you" texts. Andy's been dating this really nice guy named Brett. I've met him a few times. They been seeing each other since January. This is big news cause normally Andy's "boys" only last a couple weeks. He was telling me about Brett and as he talked about him I could tell he was happy. As much as I wanted to stick daggers in my ears I still was happy for him. I gave Andy my approval and I think that is what he was looking for. Brett is an all around nice guy I'm really impressed. Trust me I tried not to like him but I found myself being won over by his charm. He is totally a keeper. Andy told me he only has one problem though. Brett is strictly a top and although Andy has tried both he prefers to be the top. He said it hurts to bottom. (I gave him some pointers. I know, FML I'm telling my crush how to get laid. How screwed up is this?) My overall advice to Andy was to not worry about the whole sex part so much. Things have a way of working themselves out. What is important is the connection. He agreed with me and he said he likes Brett so much that he doesn't want this to affect things.

My conversation with Andy really got me pondering this whole top, bottom thing. If you truly like someone is it that important? Gay dating sites are all flooded with profiles that read; tops seeking bottoms to pound, bottoms seeking tops to fill my hole, top vers, (versatile) bttm vers, pitchers, catchers, givers, receivers and it goes on and on and on. I get asked at least once a day if I'm a top or a bottom? It seriously is a question I truly can not stand. Like hello, you could ask me what my name is or how I'm doing. It really is an immediate turn off and I usually end up putting the guy on ignore. Obviously all he is after is some ass and has no intentions of really getting to know me.

I am not the only one who feels this way. Bobby had this to say, "I dislike when men have to know right away because it shows they don't give a shit about you. They only care where they can put their dick. For example I hate it when I'm going out with a great, good looking guy and after the date is over he asks if I'm a top or bttm. If I reply with the same answer he does and we end up shaking hands and leave. I think it's ignorant. Relationships are about compromise. Yes, we all might have tendencies that we like. If you don't take turns in different roles then the only relationship you're in is one with yourself. And it's an extremely selfish relationship at that." Bobby is right if you click in other areas then what's the harm in mixing up the roles? Why let a prime piece of yummy man meat get away? Why are we restricted by these rules that only straight couples follow? My friend Tristan made a good point, "The best way to destroy the fun of sexuality is having to abide by rules and restrictions. Part of the fun of sex comes from breaking the rules and shedding inhibitions."
In my experience gay men are like Tupperware containers. You can always find the bottoms, but you can never find the top. Sometimes you just have to make due and put plastic wrap on the fucker! So what am I you ask? Well to be honest I'm a bottom. (Love getting that G-Spot hit!) It's what I "prefer" to do, but not what I will only do. I wouldn't let a great guy "slip" away if he said he was a bottom as well. James said it best, "The whole top and bottom thing really stands for hook ups. It's whatever you prefer to get your rocks off. But for relationships, you really should be open to eachothers needs and wants."

Fortunately for me I've been with guys who were pretty much strictly "ass men," but I have played other roles before. It's different and exciting. It keeps things from getting boring in the bedroom. Even though I've been mostly a bottom, I'm not going to just lie there and take it. I'm proactive! I've had orgasms where my partner didn't even touch my penis and multiple orgasms even (yes it's possible for guys, now you know why I like the bottom role so much.)

Bottoms up!Seriously though what it comes down to (excuse the pun) is whether or not you are willing to do what it takes to please your partner. Personally I would try just about anything at least once as long as my partner and I communicated and we are both comfortable with what's going on. My advice, be open minded especially if you like him. Top or bottom he could be the man of your dreams! Like Kevin says, "It's 100% sexy when a guy is versatile!"

The top and bottom controversy is certainly a rule that should be broken. One rule that should always be enforced is safe sex. I noticed recently there's an increase in young gay men performing unsafe sexual acts. (barebacking, raw, anything goes) Um sure, I love barebacking; along with eating raw chicken, getting stung by bees, cutting myself, standing in the middle of the highway, and plucking my pubic hair out with tweezers! Seriously why are people so stupid? Why are you risking your health for a few moments of pleasure? James reaction to this, "In this day and age, and with free condoms everywhere you look, if you don't have safe sex you're essentially planning your funeral."

Free condoms (and lube) are available at almost every single gay bar I have ever been too! You don't need to be embarrassed going to the drug store or even spend the money! Most planned parenthoods and doctor offices will gladly give you free condoms. I swear every time I'm out at a bar with Kevin he grabs a handful! I know that boy is wrapping it up. They make condoms in all sizes, (Magnum guys you can email me at QDL@queerdirtylaudry.com HAHA!!!) flavors, colors, textures, you name it! Glow in the dark ones are fun reminds me of a big glowworm coming to get me. Plus it lights the tunnel for you so to speak. All the condoms I have I have gotten them for free. In the rare occasion I actually have sex (It's like Ground Hog's Day I only come out once a year.) I'm prepared. If you look in my "fag bag" you'll find condoms and lube.

This photo shows the best practices for safer sex, but be advised none of these are 100% safe. Remember to always speak up, don't assume your partner is clean.

Bobby said, "I can't believe guys are so STUPID as to not have protected sex 100% of the time. Further more, it infuriates me when you have guys who explicitly say they don't want to have safe sex, so if you wanna have sex with them it has to be raw! It pisses me off because some of these guys are very attractive and some men who may have less self control will give in to the raw sex idea just to be with them. Doing this they are spreading diseases and infections into the small puddle that is our gay dating pond. It's like after all we know in 2011 why are these guys acting like they just crawled out of a cave? Just because they may look like cavemen doesn't mean they have to act like it!" I couldn't have said this better myself.

Young gay men have a mindset that they are invincible! If you're having unprotected sex it's only a matter of time before you run to your mama screaming, "It burns when I pee!" It's not a matter of IF you'll get something, it's WHEN! I really hope I wake some people up with this post. They need to be cock smacked across the face a few dozen times. Stop treating HIV and other STDs as if they were a common cold! There's even gay men that think if they already have HIV then it's like a license to fuck because what's the point they have it already. I'd like to line all these dumb fuckers up and shoot them! (With a real gun, that is.)

People argue that if they are in a committed relationship they could have unprotected sex. This only works if both partners are 100% sure they are STD free. You're also putting a lot trust into each other as well. Boys lie, boys cheat. (Not everyone, but you get the idea. How do you really know for sure?) If there's any hesitation at all use a condom every time. Remember no glove, no love. If you wanna get it on, cover your schlong.

Artwork by Qdirtylaundry

For info on HIV and safe sex practices please visit www.Aids.org
If any of you need advice or someone to talk to please always feel free to contact me on Facebook, Twitter or Email. Be safe.